[guitarman]

Quasimodo, busily ringing huge bell on top of tower, is suddenly confronted by a strong gust of wind. Quasimodo loses his footing , gets smacked in the face by the bell, and plummets to the courtyard and lands face-up, dead.
Louis XIV, walking along courtyard with his guards, looks down at the crumpled heap and says: "Does anyone know this man? One guard replies: "I'm not sure, but his face rings a bell!"

(Englishman, Scotchman, and Irishman opening lunches at work)
ENGLISHMAN: "Not baked beans again! if I have baked beans again, I'll commit suicide!" "I've had baked beans every day for 16 years!"
SCOTCHMAN: "Not haggis again!, if I have haggis again, I'll join you!" "I've had haggis every day for 26 years!"
IRISHMAN: "Not potato soup again! if I have this again tomorrow, I'll go with you!" "I've had potato soup every day for 36 years!"
(Next day, sure enough, they all get the same food; So all three go up to the railway bridge and commit suicide)
(At funeral, 3 days later)
ENGLISHMAN'S WIDOW: "If I'd known Edward hated it this much, I wouldn't have kept giving it to him!
SCOTCHMAN'S WIDOW: "If I'd known Jock hated his this much, I'd have never kept giving it to him either!"
IRISHMAN'S WIDOW (really, really distraught): "Poor old Paddy, He always made his own lunch!"