[Hardtopxb]

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing" ? she asks.
"Hunting flies", he responded.
"Oh. Killing any?"
"Yes three males,two females".
"How can you tell?" she asked intrigued.
"Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone"

A woman in a supermarket hurries to the express line with a few items and says to operator,"Excuse me. I'm in a hurry. Could you please check me out?"
The operator looks her up and and says,"Well, a bit wide in the hips but nice tits".

After a long night of making love to his new girlfriend a bloke rolls over and spies a framed picture of another man on her bedside table.He starts to worry a bit.
"Is this your husband?". He asks.
"No silly". She says, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?". He asks.
"No silly". She says, slipping her hand down his jocks.
"Well who is it then?" He asks bewildered.
"Thats me before the surgery".