[Burnout]

LIFE AFTER DEATH

"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.

"Yes, Sir," the new employee replied.

"Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you
left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to
see you."

DOCTORS

A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me.
Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, she
sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I
should do?"

Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down? Now, tell me,
exactly where is Larry's bar?"

WIZARD

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "curse" he has
been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you
will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on
you."

The old replies, "It was 'I now pronounce you man and wife'."

REQUEST

John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. "Give me one last request,
dear," he said.

"Of course, John," his wife said softly.

"Six months after I die," he whispered, "I want you to marry Joe."

"But I thought you hated Joe," she said.

"I do."

FAMILIARITY

A man picks up a young woman in a bar and persuades her to come back to his
hotel. When they are relaxing afterwards, he asks, "Am I the first man you
ever made love to?"

She looks at him thoughtfully for a second before replying. "You might be,"
she says. "Your face looks familiar."

ADVICE

A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I
have to talk to you about it."

The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"

The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."

The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"

The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me.
What should I do?"

The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I
can find out and I'll let you know."

A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife.
I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"

"Oh, yes", said the man.

The Rabbi replied, "Take the poison!"