[pauljh74]

The following letter was forwarded by someone who teaches at a small high school in country Queensland, in Australia. The letter was sent to the headteacher's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. This story is a credit to all humankind. Read it, soak it in, and bask in the warm feeling that it leaves you with...

Dear School,
God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizen's luncheon. I'm 94 years old and live at the local Community Home for the Aged. My family has long since passed away and I rarely have visitors. As a result, I have very limited contact with the outside world. This makes your gift especially welcome.
My roommate, Maggie Cook, has had her own radio for as long as I've known her. She listens to it all the time, though usually with headphones or the volume so low, I can't hear it. For some reason, she has never wanted to share it. Last Sunday morning, while listening to her morning gospel programs, she accidentally knocked it off it's shelf. It smashed into many pieces and caused he to cry. It was so sad. Fortunately, I had my new radio. Knowing this, Maggie asked me if she could listen to mine. I told her to bugger off.

God bless you.
Sincerely, Edna Johnson
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My wife asked me how I manage to be such a generous lover by always finishing second.

I told her, "Well it's simple: to slow myself down, I just think of something completely non-sexual."

So she asked me, "What do you think of?"

I replied, "You."
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There was an old farmer who lived on a rock.
He sat in the meadow just shaking his...

Fist at some boys who were down by the crick.
Their feet in the water their hands on their...

Marbles and playthings and at half past four.
There came a young lady she looked like a...

Pretty young creature she sat on the grass.
She pulled up her dress and she showed them her...

Ruffles and laces and white fluffy duck.
She said she was learning a new way to...

Bring up her children so they would not spit.
While the boys in the barnyard were shovelling...

Refuse and litter from yesterday's hunt.
While the girl in the meadow was rubbing her...

Eyes at the fellow down by the dock
He looked like a man with a sizeable...

Home in the country with a big fence out front
If he asked her politely she'd show him her...

Little pet dog who was subject to fits
And maybe she'd let him grab hold of her...

Small tender hands with a movement so quick
And then she'd bend over and suck on his...

Candy so tasty made of butterscotch
And then he'd spread whipped cream all over her...

Cookies that she had left out on her shelf
If you think this is dirty you can go screw yourself!