[Burnout]

MY COUNTRY (with apologies to Dorothea Mackellar)

I love this bonzer country
This land of grog and honey of wallaby and cockatoo of shearing shed and
dunny.

Of mates like blue and wocker
of Pharlap and the Don
The kingdom of the knocker of the wowser and the con.

I love our bonzer scenery
Where the mighty gum trees soar
Tho’ our never ending deserts are a crashing Nullarbor.

And our triffic culture
such as Eddie, Kyles and Ray
While the local gourmets have the yabby and the cray.

I love this bonzer country
where the sea is full of sharks
With blowies big as eagles
Where your car gets booked by narks.

Where your team gets trounced each Saturday and your pub sells ****y beer
Where there are red backs on the toilet seat and you’re nagged by Germaine Greer.

Then there’s our recreation
tossing cans at umpires at the AFL
Or bashing opposition supporters to show we’re the “sportsmen” from hell.

And going to the dogs and trots to cheer those pounding hooves
Or sinking boots in leather into men who wear feminine shoes.

I love this bonzer country
with its F.J. utes and trousers
With its dim sims and Chiko rolls and its triple fronted houses.

Where our roads are full of speed cameras and we are stuck with the Rudds & Swans
Where all the land and business is owned by Yanks and Poms.

I love our bonzer federal government good old Kevin, Julia and Wayne
The way our debt is rising makes you think they are all insane.

And I love the liberal opposition cos they know how to oppose
They all oppose each other
So you know they are on their toes.

Hey, when you come to think of it its really not so great
On second thoughts, I’m jack of it
I think i’ll immigrate.