Old farts at super markets

[flappist]

I have just had the enormous pleasure of shopping at a local supermarket, in this case Coles, and I can now fully understand why automatic weapons are banned.

As it was saturday arvo every person over the age of 60 was there to pick up the "end of week specials". The most dangerous place to be in the world is not Iraq or on the edge of a volcano, it is anywhere that is near an item that is just about to be discounted. The "old fart radar" can sense 5c off on Tinned giraffe snot and they come running at warp factor 6.

Then when you finally escape the wrinkly hoardes you have to go to the checkout. Why is it each line has at least one who has discount vouchers from 1996 but insists thay are valid, challenges the price of every second item and my absolute favorite, pays in blocks of $30 to maximize their petrol discount, a whole 4c per litre off. Now this may seem a sensible thrifty methodology but the discount is for Shell and the nearest Shell is over 40km away!

So as all my frozen stuff is melting and the old farts are scratching around to save that extra 20c I decided to NEVER SHOP AT COLES AGAIN EVER, I do not care if they are cheaper.
I am now looking for the MOST EXPENSIVE shop in town because although it will cost more at least I can buy stuff without being attacked, delayed, annoyed and perturbed....

/end rant

[svo347]

Sounds like you are not looking forwards in becomming old...er

[fiery]

So you had a nice time shopping then I gather

[Gammaboy]

Originally Posted by flappist

I have just had the enormous pleasure of shopping at a local supermarket, in this case Coles, and I can now fully understand why automatic weapons are banned.

As it was saturday arvo every person over the age of 60 was there to pick up the "end of week specials". The most dangerous place to be in the world is not Iraq or on the edge of a volcano, it is anywhere that is near an item that is just about to be discounted. The "old fart radar" can sense 5c off on Tinned giraffe snot and they come running at warp factor 6.

Then when you finally escape the wrinkly hoardes you have to go to the checkout. Why is it each line has at least one who has discount vouchers from 1996 but insists thay are valid, challenges the price of every second item and my absolute favorite, pays in blocks of $30 to maximize their petrol discount, a whole 4c per litre off. Now this may seem a sensible thrifty methodology but the discount is for Shell and the nearest Shell is over 40km away!

So as all my frozen stuff is melting and the old farts are scratching around to save that extra 20c I decided to NEVER SHOP AT COLES AGAIN EVER, I do not care if they are cheaper.
I am now looking for the MOST EXPENSIVE shop in town because although it will cost more at least I can buy stuff without being attacked, delayed, annoyed and perturbed....

/end rant

Dude. you should try going shopping on pension day....

[EvilChief]

Originally Posted by Gammaboy

Dude. you should try going shopping on pension day....

hahahaha ... so true thou :

[fiery]

Originally Posted by Gammaboy

Dude. you should try going shopping on pension day....

I actually now understand why here in Moronfield they have 2 Woolworths so close to each other...
The old(er) people go to the one on ground level.. whilst the other younger ones seem to flock to the one with the crazy escalators and other shops :

So many advantages to shopping online I think

[max^power]

I feel your pain mate. They are also a hassle at the park, when they yell at me to "slow down" during a cycling time trial.

We'll all get old one day, but some people just shouldn't be living in built up areas if they can't share a 2m wide concrete path.

As for getting thrifty, the oldies take it too far. Why can't the supermarkets have an "Over 65" or a "Tightwad" checkout lane too?

[Feathers]

Originally Posted by max^power

As for getting thrifty, the oldies take it too far.

My grandmother spends $10 a week on food. All Homebrand. She doesn't have the fridge running either.
She has small indoor plants which she uses to hang old tea bags on to dry them out, before using them again...and again.
She has grown her hair long because in her opinion "it's the fashion" (not because she's too tight to get it cut?), and uses $4.00 hair dye in red, which won't take to her grey hair and comes out bright orange.
Oh, and she turns off the power at the mains everynight before bed.

Worst part is, she comes in shopping at the store I work at, everyone knows her, and they know we're related. It's so embarrassing.

I'm trying to forget the time she slapped one of my workmates across the head for daring to suggest she buy a more expensive hair dye that would cover grey, or abusing the same girl about the floor sticker advertising insect spray depicting roaches crawling out of a drain, then when she didn't understand what the girl was saying, yelled at her "Don't you speak english dear?" (This workmate is deaf), and when she pointed out her hearing aid, was then told she shouldn't be working in a job where she had to speak to customers, she should be out the back "where no one can see you".

*Edit* I should add that my grandmother owns ~9 properties (that we know of), and has a 2/3 share in the family business, which has about 4 more properties. She isn't short of money, though she'd like everyone to believe she's a poor pensioner.

[Charliewool]

Originally Posted by Feathers

My grandmother spends $10 a week on food. All Homebrand. She doesn't have the fridge running either.
She has small indoor plants which she uses to hang old tea bags on to dry them out, before using them again...and again.
She has grown her hair long because in her opinion "it's the fashion" (not because she's too tight to get it cut?), and uses $4.00 hair dye in red, which won't take to her grey hair and comes out bright orange.
Oh, and she turns off the power at the mains everynight before bed.

Worst part is, she comes in shopping at the store I work at, everyone knows her, and they know we're related. It's so embarrassing.

I'm trying to forget the time she slapped one of my workmates across the head for daring to suggest she buy a more expensive hair dye that would cover grey, or abusing the same girl about the floor sticker advertising insect spray depicting roaches crawling out of a drain, then when she didn't understand what the girl was saying, yelled at her "Don't you speak english dear?" (This workmate is deaf), and when she pointed out her hearing aid, was then told she shouldn't be working in a job where she had to speak to customers, she should be out the back "where no one can see you".

*Edit* I should add that my grandmother owns ~9 properties (that we know of), and has a 2/3 share in the family business, which has about 4 more properties. She isn't short of money, though she'd like everyone to believe she's a poor pensioner.

Methinks a nomination for the most classic AFF post!... Feathers, My tummys hurtin from laughing... Flappist, I concurr totally!! How bout compulsary euthanasia at 55?

[aimzes]

yeah the supermarket is bad. i work long hours mon-fri so i have to shop sat or sun its not that they are heaps slow at the checkout they dawdle through the isles. and f**k me dead today i almost lost it. they had two trolleys side by side chatting about which dog biscuits to get. dead set 1 choose a brand, 2 if its fully grown get adult if not get puppy.... or just buy the normal one. your dogs age group doesnt change on a daily f-ing basis. get the one you bought last week.

i find they are worse in the bread dept. they squeez all the roles to check the freshness.

but what really p****s me off is when they INSIST on going to the bank or post office at lunch time or 4pm when its about to close. those are the only f-ing times i can get away from work THEY HAVE ALL DAY! s**t if i had all day to do s**t id be up there 5 mins before its open to get it out of the way.

[rodderz]

Originally Posted by charliewool

Methinks a nomination for the most classic AFF post!... Feathers, My tummys hurtin from laughing...

I got the same reaction Charlie! Thats a nomination for Triple M's tightarse Tuesday! (no offense intended feathers, it's a funny story!)

It's no wonder you see the old fart husbands sitting on the provided seats in shopping centres, that way they dont have to put up with the ladies rumaging through the bargain boxes for cheap buys, getting incontinance nappies or looking at general old people's stuff like doilies, pot pourri, mothballs for the wardrobe or packs of worther;s originals.

When I'm that age I'll be the same, on the seats looking at the scenery!

[Hunter]

Originally Posted by rodderz

or looking at general old people's stuff like doilies, pot pourri, mothballs for the wardrobe or packs of worther;s originals.

Haha I thought the mothballs were for their clothes pockets, I mean they seem to bloody stink of them.

When I'm that age I'll be the same, on the seats looking at the scenery!

You sure the old farts aren't just trying to picture their happy place?

Anyway yes I too hate old people at the supermarket. Especially ones who pay with bloody 5 cent pieces. Actually I hate supermarkets full stop.

[Feathers]

Originally Posted by charliewool

Methinks a nomination for the most classic AFF post!... Feathers, My tummys hurtin from laughing...

I have SO many more stories... she can be very nasty, and quite spiteful at times (usually always the worst times).
She will never miss an opportunity to put you down, or try to show how intelligent she thinks she is because she watches TV and has been around the world 3 times.

In fact last week she told me I may as well kill myself because I have no desire to travel like she did, and I don't watch tv, so I would never learn anything.

The only reason I still tolerate her is for my inheritance.

[M14A-Mclaren]

Originally Posted by Feathers

My grandmother spends $10 a week on food. All Homebrand. She doesn't have the fridge running either.
She has small indoor plants which she uses to hang old tea bags on to dry them out, before using them again...and again.
She has grown her hair long because in her opinion "it's the fashion" (not because she's too tight to get it cut?), and uses $4.00 hair dye in red, which won't take to her grey hair and comes out bright orange.
Oh, and she turns off the power at the mains everynight before bed.

Worst part is, she comes in shopping at the store I work at, everyone knows her, and they know we're related. It's so embarrassing.

I'm trying to forget the time she slapped one of my workmates across the head for daring to suggest she buy a more expensive hair dye that would cover grey, or abusing the same girl about the floor sticker advertising insect spray depicting roaches crawling out of a drain, then when she didn't understand what the girl was saying, yelled at her "Don't you speak english dear?" (This workmate is deaf), and when she pointed out her hearing aid, was then told she shouldn't be working in a job where she had to speak to customers, she should be out the back "where no one can see you".

*Edit* I should add that my grandmother owns ~9 properties (that we know of), and has a 2/3 share in the family business, which has about 4 more properties. She isn't short of money, though she'd like everyone to believe she's a poor pensioner.

This is a the same grandmother that gives you recycled Christmas and Birthday presents isn't it?

[Feathers]

Originally Posted by M14A-Mclaren

This is the same grandmother that gives you recycled Christmas and Birthday presents isn't it?

How'd you guess? :

She also points out (repeatedly) to the quadriplegic friend of ours that comes over, that he's getting too fat and he needs to exercise. :

[xr8chick]

ah it's all good then i have a long time to go though!! rofl

[GTS_300_Coupe]

HA! You think YOU have got it hard going shopping?
Try actually working there at the supermarket!

I work part time at Target and on pensioners day all these old people (god this annoys the hell out of me) take forever to process their sales.
On top of that, they pay anything with $50 notes and rape my cash till of any change.
They are even more annoying in the shops than they are on the road.

[fairmont1998]

I hate every aspect of grocery shopping. It just makes me angry...

[M14A-Mclaren]

Haha, I love old people stories. By that I means stories about old people, I definately don't like stories told by old people, last one I listened to was why trams were better than buses.

[nugget378]

Originally Posted by M14A-Mclaren

Haha, I love old people stories. By that I means stories about old people, I definately don't like stories told by old people, last one I listened to was why trams were better than buses.

And they tell you the same story every time you see them

[Cav]

OLD FART HERE, YOU BLOODY CRETINS

When I shop I like to enjoy the experience......

If the aisle is empty I will put my trolley to the left, hang onto the handle and then look for items on the right.

When I get to the end of the aisle and I want to turn left, I look to the right while turning left.

If an aisle is empty except for one person, I will put my trolley next to theirs and look at things on the opposite side.

I often forget to take my glasses with me, and as you know the cheaper items are on the lower shelves, so I have to bend down to look at the items, then I have to back up to the other side so that the writing on the products come into focus.

And you want to know the best part?

I can chat up the young chicks at the checkout, you know, the 30 and 40 years olds

[flappist]

Originally Posted by Cav

OLD FART HERE, YOU BLOODY CRETINS

When I shop I like to enjoy the experience......

If the aisle is empty I will put my trolley to the left, hang onto the handle and then look for items on the right.

When I get to the end of the aisle and I want to turn left, I look to the right while turning left.

If an aisle is empty except for one person, I will put my trolley next to theirs and look at things on the opposite side.

I often forget to take my glasses with me, and as you know the cheaper items are on the lower shelves, so I have to bend down to look at the items, then I have to back up to the other side so that the writing on the products come into focus.

And you want to know the best part?

I can chat up the young chicks at the checkout, you know, the 30 and 40 years olds

Young D!ckhead here.....

When I drive I like to go really fast and drop burnouts and yell abuse at other drivers. I like to have my stereo up at 200db and be as noisy as possible at 2am and if you don't like my choice in music, tuff titties.
I have had many people tell me I am anti social and a cretin but I don't care because I am the most important person in the world, I know everything and the whole world is here just for me.

And you know the best part?
One day I might realise that I was a d!ckhead and am actually part of a modern society and maybe try to make this a better place for EVERYONE not just me.......

[Falchoon]

I don't have "old fart" problems at my local supermarket, the opposite in fact! It starts off with the mums that go shopping with their tribe of uncontrolled brats that want every lolly and toy in the place. The mums just let the brats run wild, no effort at discipline whatsoever, the word "no" is not in their vocabulary. The brats are screaming and running around, touching, playing, eating everything they can possibly get their grubby little mits on. Mum will leave the trolley in the middle of the aisle while she wanders around seemingly in a daze while she trys to work out what it was she actually came to the supermarket to do. Haven't they heard of a shopping list? You know, where you write down on a bit of paper what itis you want to buy before you go shopping?

Then there's the "wrong wayers". My way of thinking is you enter the shop from one end and work your way aisle by aisle to the other side and finally to the checkout. Not some people. They seem to just pick aisles at random and often just meander up and down, usually not keeping to the left. And flying around blind corners without thinking there could be someone else coming the other way, and then they have the hide to glare at you when you have a near miss collision because of their ignorance/arrogance.

Then it's checkout time. The usually young checkout chick (though there seems to be an increasing amount of male checkout blokes). First of all they ask you if you want bags. No thanks, I'll put the full trolley load in my left pocket, of course I want it in bags. Then they start scanning and packing the items. I try and put the items on the conveyer checkout belt in the order I think they should be packed in, with like items together ie frozen food together. The checkout chick/bloke (I try to avoid the blokes as they are usually a lot slower) has different ideas, preferring instead to put the fresh food in with the toilet cleaner and the 2lt Milk on top of the bananas or toilet rolls.

The nonsense doesn't stop when you leave the checkout. You then have to negotiate the carpark. I usually park away from other cars so as to try and avoid damage to my pride and joy by some inconsiderate clown opening their door into mine or worse reversing (or driving forward!) into it. The next wave of mums and brats are now lapping the carpark (some of the same ones as well from when I first arrived at the shops are still lapping trying to find a car space no more than 2m from front door). They drive their Land Bruisers and Terrortorys like they drive their shopping trolleys, no skill, consideration or acknowledgement for other motorists or pedestrians, though the pedestrians mostly have themselves to blame as they wander all over the carpark like it is their god given right and how dare a motor vehicle or indeed another person want to impose.

[vztrt]

Originally Posted by Falchoon

Then it's checkout time. The usually young checkout chick (though there seems to be an increasing amount of male checkout blokes). First of all they ask you if you want bags. No thanks, I'll put the full trolley load in my left pocket, of course I want it in bags.

Some people dont want bags and they crack a hissy fit if you give them a bag. Than there's the moron who watches you put the item/s in a bag than says 'no bag thanks'. Than you ask someone if they want a bag and they say no, you finish processing the item and they say could I have a bag.
I worked in a bottle shop and the amount of idiots that come in, makes you not know what to ask them.

Originally Posted by Falchoon

It starts off with the mums that go shopping with their tribe of uncontrolled brats that want every lolly and toy in the place. The mums just let the brats run wild, no effort at discipline whatsoever, the word "no" is not in their vocabulary. The brats are screaming and running around, touching, playing, eating everything they can possibly get their grubby little mits on. Mum will leave the trolley in the middle of the aisle while she wanders around seemingly in a daze while she trys to work out what it was she actually came to the supermarket to do. Haven't they heard of a shopping list? You know, where you write down on a bit of paper what itis you want to buy before you go shopping?

You've been to Campbelltown mall on a thursday morning haven't ya...lol

[MrSparkle]

I intend on becoming one of these aforementioned annoying old farts when (if?!?!) I reach that age. I'll be sufficiently p!ssed off with the stupid and ungrateful younger generations to make them pay by forcing them to wait and endure endless stories and grievances.

Excellent!!!!!

[Casper]

Flappist:
Birthday:
May 16, 1959


Sorry mate.. you are an old fart!

[12]

Originally Posted by Casper

Flappist:
Birthday:
May 16, 1959


Sorry mate.. you are an old fart!

[Blue Thunder 2]

Originally Posted by Casper

Flappist:
Birthday:
May 16, 1959


Sorry mate.. you are an old fart!

No, he is not an old fart yet. He did say over 60, so in about another 13 or so years Flappist, you to will be behaving like your grandmother. : Ha Ha!!!
Scarey isn't it? :togo:

[Aeron]

I work at Woolworths. And yes, old people suck