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#61 | ||
Where to next??
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Sydney
Posts: 8,893
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I'm a male so it must have been something I did?
And there lies the problem. Sent from my LG-M700 using Tapatalk
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#62 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,878
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#63 | ||
Thailand Specials
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Centrefold Lounge
Posts: 49,011
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The whole family court system sucks, it'll take everything and even the shirt off your back.
Childhood mate of mine is going through the process, 80-20 split her way, $500K gone. I remember him telling me he'd never pay for sex, my rebuttal was everyone pays for sex. I just pay less ![]() |
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#64 | ||
Thailand Specials
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Centrefold Lounge
Posts: 49,011
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Hello Dad! Since when were you a member of AFF?
![]() (The old man always preaches this to anyone who'll listen) Customers of sex workers are an interesting group, I'd put it at 75% of them are married/in relationships, tend to be Gen X or Boomers - older crowd. Generally dudes not getting anything at home, can be in loving relationships, happily married with kids but none of the fun stuff happens anymore so they've taken to ladies of the night. Last edited by Franco Cozzo; 15-03-2020 at 10:48 PM. |
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#65 | ||
Where to next??
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Sydney
Posts: 8,893
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All do, but you were quick to assume it was my fault.
Sent from my LG-M700 using Tapatalk
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#66 | |||
Banned
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 2,489
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Quote:
I went through it only 2 years ago. The system is so completely biased it's not just unfair - it's blatantly ridiculous. I haven't seen my daughter who i had 6 days a fortnight since a random Email (just after she remarried a millionaire) No-one would listen to me at all. My daughter head of class but I neglected her etc etc. 30K later in legal bills and.....I won. My time to see my daughter yet "apparently new claims are made" so my Ex didn't comply, and I didn't see my daughter anyway. Just an absolute joke. Last edited by MercuryT; 15-03-2020 at 11:04 PM. |
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#67 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 3,878
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No I dd not assume it was your fault!But I have seen both sides of marriage break ups. Some seem to be quite one sided until the facts come out,whether it is financial tension,too much work time by either party or sometimes the mistaken illusions of the other party being unfaithfull.
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#68 | ||
Thailand Specials
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Centrefold Lounge
Posts: 49,011
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The monogamous relationship expectation from our society is another thing that can cause issues in relationships - you know the traditional relationship, the fun stuff dries up and one or both goes off on affairs or ladies (or men) of the night, gets caught then the court shenanigans start.
Maybe humans aren't designed to be monogamous, there's a term called ethical non-monogamy I see doing the rounds these days and maybe for good reason? I find people interesting, I should have done psychology at school ![]() |
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#69 | ||
DIY Tragic
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Sydney, more than not. I hate it.
Posts: 21,782
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Like DFB FGXR6, I’ve witnessed this wrought upon a couple of people I know. And if the blokes were genuinely “in the wrong” they made a darned good fist of always hiding it from everyone! Both fellows were fortunate that their (late teens and young adult) children stood by them in the maelström of bilious lies and protracted attacks - it quite possibly prevented suicides.
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#70 | ||
Rob
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Woodcroft S.A.
Posts: 21,488
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i feel sorry for some of you guys.
axes to grind and chips on shoulders and so much blame
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#71 | |||
Where to next??
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Sydney
Posts: 8,893
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Quote:
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#73 | |||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 4,911
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Quote:
How someone could be so evil. Had her pegged for a psycho on first meeting. Turns out this was not her first rodeo and had, incredibly, done almost the exact same thing with the father of her first child. You think she doesn't know how to play the system now? Disgusting she managed to get away with the lies and manipulation twice. |
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#74 | |||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 1,782
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Quote:
Then there are people who are decent but life is hard and complex. Franco- seems to me "Anglo Saxon" Aussies follow the "British" model-as do the Yanks- monogomy- 1 strike and you are out. Very simplistic and perhaps if you are religious that has some bearing. But seem to me a lot of European cultures are more mature and wise about this stuff.
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Ford Rides: Ford Fiesta ST Mk 8 -daily- closest thing to a go kart on road for under 50K FG X XR8 smoke manual - Miami hand built masterpiece by David Winter, BMC Filter, JLT Oil separators, Street Fighter Intercooler Stage 2, crushed ball, running 15% E85 and 85% 98- weekender |
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#75 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 1,782
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I have a colleague next to me who is a family law barrister.
He calls the Family court the "Temple of shattered dreams". Although he is married- he is against marriage totally. Says its a ridiculous institution. Sad to see all the shattered people dragging themselves in to his chambers- and it seems from talking to him you get nutjob blokes and nutjob ladies in equal proportions.
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Ford Rides: Ford Fiesta ST Mk 8 -daily- closest thing to a go kart on road for under 50K FG X XR8 smoke manual - Miami hand built masterpiece by David Winter, BMC Filter, JLT Oil separators, Street Fighter Intercooler Stage 2, crushed ball, running 15% E85 and 85% 98- weekender |
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#76 | |||
Virtuous Bogan (TM)
![]() Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: TAS
Posts: 27,554
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Quote:
Life is short, do what is right at the time and if you have a love for something grab it. Dont see why it needs to be more complicated than that. Be more worried about having kids than the act of getting married.
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Last edited by Polyal; 16-03-2020 at 12:28 PM. |
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#77 | ||
Regular Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 313
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Doesn't really make much difference. If you're a parent and in a defacto relationship you can end up in just about the same place.
Like the OP said, the legal system is heavily favoured towards the mother. You can see how it happens. Even the best relationships can end on bad terms. A bit of contempt, hurt, some emotional immaturity and they can really make you pay. Put some lawyers, friends, or even possibly a new lover into their ear and things can spiral out of control quickly. Bad ju ju catches up with these types sooner or later. |
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#78 | ||
Banned
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 2,489
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#79 | |||
Rob
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Woodcroft S.A.
Posts: 21,488
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Quote:
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#81 | ||
Banned
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 2,489
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Of course.
The problem is only one side is prioritised by the Family Court. My rights and relationship with my daughter weren't seen as near important compared to "the Mother's" Men are automatically guilty unless proven otherwise at the starting point. Fact. |
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#82 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Miranda, NSW
Posts: 6,771
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A mother has to be either a prostitute or drug user to not win custody of the kids.
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2005 BA MK2 FPV GT - 6 SPEED MANUAL , SILHOUETTE, SWISSVAX, SUNROOF, BILSTEIN AND LOVELLS, FACTORY GENUINE 19'S, X-FORCE STAINLESS QUAD CATBACK, ADVANCE HEADERS, 200 CPSI CATS, BLUEPOWER CAI, HERROD BREATHER KIT, 4:11 DIFF RATIO, MAL WOOD OPT 3+ CLUTCH, BILLET SHIFTER, MELLINGS 10227, NOW WITH REVERSE CAMERA/SENSORS, ALPINE SPEAKERS & SUB - CUSTOM TUNED TO 275 RWKW NOW WITH A NEW ADDITION - 2017 MUSTANG V8 GT FASTBACK - , 6 SPEED AUTO IN PLATINUM WHITE, |
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#83 | ||
AU3 ute EL futura
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 485
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I never married. My parents divorced when I was 8. I have long thought a quota imposed on teh court would solve a lot of problems. Half of all contested custody the children are given to the father. That would make the judges think really hard in each case if they knew they needed to make their "quota" down the line. It'd also make the women think twice if they had a 50/50 chance of losing the kids.
Lefties came up with no fault divorce and like pretty much every other lefty idea it was a catastrophe. The problem isn't marriage, it's some people's attitude to marriage. |
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#84 | |||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Miranda, NSW
Posts: 6,771
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Quote:
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2005 BA MK2 FPV GT - 6 SPEED MANUAL , SILHOUETTE, SWISSVAX, SUNROOF, BILSTEIN AND LOVELLS, FACTORY GENUINE 19'S, X-FORCE STAINLESS QUAD CATBACK, ADVANCE HEADERS, 200 CPSI CATS, BLUEPOWER CAI, HERROD BREATHER KIT, 4:11 DIFF RATIO, MAL WOOD OPT 3+ CLUTCH, BILLET SHIFTER, MELLINGS 10227, NOW WITH REVERSE CAMERA/SENSORS, ALPINE SPEAKERS & SUB - CUSTOM TUNED TO 275 RWKW NOW WITH A NEW ADDITION - 2017 MUSTANG V8 GT FASTBACK - , 6 SPEED AUTO IN PLATINUM WHITE, |
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#85 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 1,782
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The fundamental question is "children's best interests".
For whatever reason there is a bias towards the assumption that the best interests of the child are prima facie best served by the child being with the mother as the primary custodian. The onus then shifts to the father to prove that this assumption is not in the best interests of the child in that particular subjective case. As to whether that initial bias assumption is correct is another matter that I would not even attempt to engage with.
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Ford Rides: Ford Fiesta ST Mk 8 -daily- closest thing to a go kart on road for under 50K FG X XR8 smoke manual - Miami hand built masterpiece by David Winter, BMC Filter, JLT Oil separators, Street Fighter Intercooler Stage 2, crushed ball, running 15% E85 and 85% 98- weekender |
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#86 | ||
BLUE OVAL INC.
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,637
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Will never happen, would only take a judge to be under pressure to award custody to a Father in the name of equality and that father to then do something stupid and the axe would fall, no ones putting their reputation or career on the line for that where kids are involved.
It would be naïve to think the majority of cases are settled in favour of the Mother because she's the better option, i'd say its more a case of err on the side of caution. Unfortunately I've seen the other side of the coin where an ex partner made some serious allegations against my Sister who then had 4 of her children taken away and put into Foster care which by all accounts was a nightmare for them, the irony being that the ex partner was a monster who used to beat them with a fishing rod if them played up, yet he walked away with his Son and the Courts said nothing. My Sister wasn't an angel, she made some mistakes in life, but she loved her kids and never lay a hand on them yet she and them paid a price because of Family Court. |
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#87 | |||
Where to next??
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Sydney
Posts: 8,893
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Quote:
Courts and judges do all they can to turn a blind eye to fathers while giving almost anything and everything to mothers. I would know. Been before 3 different judges in 2 family court matters. I was the applicant in both cases. I didn't get even close to half of what I requested each and every time. Yet, the mother was freely offered near double by the judge, or the judge openly asked what she wanted - and what was asked for was instantly granted. No looking at the documents, no asking me my opinion, nothing. Can you imagine that for just a second? I can say a lot more but there is a pending matter before the courts that also involves a high level police investigation. Just pray that for once justice prevails. There is an innocent 12 month old that desperately needs justice to prevail - because it's in her bests interests.
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#88 | |||
Banned
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 2,489
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Quote:
My honesty was tested heavily, not proven to do anything wrong, yet amazingly my daughter changed school during legal proceedings with "no father" written on school application form. So basically my Ex wife blatantly lying as per previously, but DURING PROCEEDINGS and Court said the Mother can do that to ensure my daughter's development as they moved houses with new husband. The clear arrogance to do that (whilst i argued she's a liar, and clearly lied during proceedings) says it all as she knew I was screwed completely. Just so stupid and unfair beyond words. |
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#89 | |||
Where to next??
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Sydney
Posts: 8,893
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Quote:
Yet, thousands of mothers forcibly remove the children from their fathers and the courts turn a blind eye. Where are their apologies? Then there was my case late last year: Judge: "I could award you more time with your child but your partner will have grounds to object and she will win. You see, not a lot of other judges like my rulings, they say God, what is (Last name of judge) up to now? and over rule my decisions" Then he continued.. "There is an opinion amongst some that children are best with the mother, certainly your child is more attached with the mother so I will suggest XXX days / nights a fortnight and I want you to return in March". The other side objected - they saw the judge was easily swayed so suggested half of his low ball offer again. Judge snapped back - he is obviously a capable father who is very able to care for the child in question, so I'll stick to my suggestion (that was 1/3 of my request in my application). So, they were made into 'consent orders'. Interesting term seeing I had no option to agree or they would have been made if I liked it or not. On the way out the judge saw the look on my face and said "You are lucky you had me as a judge, anyone else would have given you FAR LESS" (and he is right). Fast forward 2 months. I stop work, partner goes to work full time. I'm full time carer of the child in question. I take her (partner) back in because I'm concerned for my daughter and it's the only way I can keep an eye on her and care for her. (Something I'm apparently not able to do due to my gender and the age of our child)... Orders not followed for 3 months. The abuse continues, threats against me continue. Mistreatment of our daughter continues. She has taken off with our child once because I didn't put my plate in the sink. I took my other daughter out last week to watch a show so my punishment was that she moved back in with the ex and stayed there a few nights. And there is not a thing I can do to stop her - in fact, she proudly boasts that the judge lets her do what she wants and waves the 'consent orders' in my face if I ever protest or object to this behavior. As I said - courts and judges are so against good fathers its beyond a joke. And I'm considered 'lucky'... Lets just hope for once justice prevails in the coming weeks and months because there is only so much one can take.
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#90 | ||
2003 BA Falcon XT
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Wyndhamvale, Victoria
Posts: 1,138
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Erectile Dysfunction.
Thank god I have that because I could have ended up like so many people here! I got married when I was 26. I bought a BA Falcon and long story short, we had zero luck. Both of us had health issues.... many days off work and at the time I blamed her. We separated in 2008. I met someone.... with my issues we spent $15,000+ on IVF after we got married in 2011. To be fair she indometriosous, and polosystic ovaries as well. (I can't spell that lol) Then she decided she didn't want to work anymore.... just quit her job so when I was working she was having affairs with multiple men. Divorced start of 2016. By a fluke my first wife came up as a suggested friend.... I said hi and we started chatting..... found out we still had feelings for each other.... I've been apologising ever since for screwing us up but 4 years later we have just purchased our first house. I'm now 38 and she's 37.... we won't have kids. We both have issues but we laugh at each other and make our own fun. We only really have each other.... Her dad accepted me and her siblings too. I still feel guilty for the car, but we have built a rock solid relationship which should have been in 2006.
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