Mental Disease, and you. - Page 3

Feathers · 04-07-2005, 05:10 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Thats gold!! :evil_laug :evil_laug :1syellow1

: :1syellow1 :evil_laug :evil_laug

smciner1 · 04-07-2005, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sourbastard

Cleveland Owner Syndrome
Psychological Requirements:
Senility due to old age

Symptoms:
Delusional Traits -
All time stopped for you in 1984 when the last Cleveland was produced.
You believe that eventually Cardigans will come back into style, once Ford "Wakes Up!" and start producing brand new Carbie fed Clevelands for the BC Falcon.
You believe all fuel bills should be 3 digits long on a weekly basis.
Even though your toploader has the feel of a stiltson wrench in bucket of river rocks you think its pretty slick.
You truely believy handling involves a threefold increase in horsepower.
You cruise aimlessly seaking out that one last bowser of real super, not that poofy premium.

Hallucinations -
Cleveland owners dont have hallucinations, they tell it like it is with frank honesty and integrity. Even when they are hallucinating.

Physical Traits -
Back injuries from the mistaken belief that 3 adult males can actually lift out an FMX unassisted.
Hand injuries due to clutching the wheel during takeoff in a vain attempt to control the vehicle.

Mullet Hairdos. Sideburns. Flannel Shirts. Winnie Blues.

Treatment
Being dragged kicking and screaming into the present on a daily basis.

Prognosis
Untreated the cleveland owner will continue to live in the past, until they are all gathered together in a theme park on an island, to live out the remainder of their lives in their traditional dinosaur way.

And your point is......?

:evilsasmo

By the way, the last Cleveland was made in 1982.

:

Paris Hilton · 04-07-2005, 05:37 PM

Hmmm I seem to have a mixture between Japanese Import Owner Syndrome and Eseries Owners Syndrome...

:

Sourbastard · 04-07-2005, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smciner1

By the way, the last Cleveland was made in 1982.

This just makes things worse. lol

Psycho Chicken · 04-07-2005, 08:14 PM

BWA HAHAHAHA this is the best thread since sit ups!

We need people who work the hell out of N/A XF 250s, refusing to chop the heater pipes in some attempt to be different.

Then there's XD/XE 351/302 owners....not quite classic, yet not quite plastic.

The Mighty Red · 04-07-2005, 08:49 PM

YEAH LOL, just read the 2nd half to this thread and its as funny as the 1st bit I read

Truly Awesome Stuff Sour Bastard . A very Educational and very funny read.

Casper · 05-07-2005, 08:43 AM

Moved to Pub... this is too good to go unnoticed.

LuvinmyEB · 05-07-2005, 09:21 AM

I've laughed, I've cried, I've hurled... my sides are sore!

Quote:

Originally Posted by sourbastard

Treatment
A Regular income and an actual savings plan.

I've also been

:

But so has someone else...

Quote:

Originally Posted by sourbastard

Hallucinations -
When driving on dirt, you become possessed by the spirit of Possum Bourne.
When repairing the car after driving on dirt and discovering you dont actually own a rally car, Possum honks the horn and demands to know whats taking so long.

:hihi:

mcflux · 05-07-2005, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sourbastard

E Series Owner SYndrome

When your engine bay catches alight, you try and convince the police that it came that way from the factory. They believe you and leave.

BWAHAHAHA!!!!

Can't wait for the next installment, and can't understand why I didn't find this thread earlier...

Sourbastard · 05-07-2005, 02:32 PM

Ute Owners Syndrome
Psychological Requirements:
Rural Mentality
Unnatural lust for Livestock

Symptoms:
Delusional Traits -
You believe giant mudflaps are a sign of sophistication.
You believe Suspension ride height should be measured in feet, not millimeters.
You believe that 4 or more UHF Radio's makes you a better communicator, but you still cant talk to a woman on the air in a conversation more in depth then "Can I come around and feel your Boobs?"
You believe Slim Dusty isnt dead, he is living with John Wayne in small cattle ranch outside of Tuscon.

Hallucinations -
When driving in the country you make "BRRRRRRM TOUSH" sounds and pretend you are driving a B Double. Your gearbox is close to death from being double clutched into the same gear 12 times in a row.
Your girlfriend is an invisible sheep called Polly. You cheat on her with other Sheep though. She wont find out.

Physical Traits -
Your 8 Track collection contains both kinds of music. Country and Western.
Ariel Whiplash marks from attempting to wash the car on windy days.

Treatment
For gods sake, find a female. Human this time, and not a family member.

Prognosis
Untreated the ute owner will eventually join the National Party, and become Premier of Queensland.

PULLY6 · 05-07-2005, 02:37 PM

"Your gearbox is close to death from being double clutched into the same gear 12 times in a row."

Hahah I know a guy like that!

Paxton · 05-07-2005, 03:04 PM

I drive a Territory. What disease do me and 25,000 other Australians have?

Sourbastard · 05-07-2005, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by paxtonandrew

I drive a Territory. What disease do me and 25,000 other Australians have?

Same disease as most other 4x4 drivers.

Blindness.

Pilch · 05-07-2005, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sourbastard

Untreated the cleveland owner will continue to live in the past, until they are all gathered together in a theme park on an island, to live out the remainder of their lives in their traditional dinosaur way

I have dreamed of this many times, but never thought it might actually happen :1syellow1

The Red Telstar and E-Series syndromes are so true! The AU is indeed ugly unless it's geneticlally modified. And the ute owners syndrome is GOLD, we need to make it into a big sticker and put it on the tailgate of every wannabe cowboy in along with there other 749 stickers already on their utes :the_finge

This was particularly funny.....

Quote:

Originally Posted by sourbastard

For gods sake, find a female. Human this time, and not a family member

Heeno · 05-07-2005, 03:31 PM

LOL LOL LOL LOL hahahahahaha that is pure gold, haven't laughed like that for a good while, cheers sourbastard lol

Axle-F · 05-07-2005, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sourbastard

Red Telstar Owners Syndrome
Psychological Requirements:
Inferiority Complex
Lower then average intelligence

LoL so true, nice one bastard!

I actually saw a guy driving around in the west of Sydney with some crappy huge chrome 17's on his telstar and propped suspension to fit the damn things on. handling must've been fantastic.

Gammaboy · 05-07-2005, 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Axle-F

LoL so true, nice one bastard!

I actually saw a guy driving around in the west of Sydney with some crappy huge chrome 17's on his telstar and propped suspension to fit the damn things on. handling must've been fantastic.

Hope its not a red telstar owner on the Forums.... :P

smciner1 · 05-07-2005, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pilch

I have dreamed of this many times, but never thought it might actually happen :1syellow1

I think its callled Utopia (tm).

:lookedat:

The MaDDeSTMaN · 05-07-2005, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LuvinmyEB

I've laughed, I've cried, I've hurled... my sides are sore!

Quote:

Originally Posted by sourbastard

Treatment
A Regular income and an actual savings plan.

I've also been

:

But so has someone else...

Quote:

Originally Posted by sourbastard

Hallucinations -
When driving on dirt, you become possessed by the spirit of Possum Bourne.
When repairing the car after driving on dirt and discovering you dont actually own a rally car, Possum honks the horn and demands to know whats taking so long.

:hihi:

Hahaha... At least my 4 cyl Ford can do 0-100km/h in under 9 seconds, and is RWD (which is obvious in that pic), neither of those things could be said about newer 4 cyl Fords... :hihi:

Oh, and I prefer these pics: :P

PS. Nothing broke that day - that's more of a FWD trait, lol!

**Falcon Coupe** · 05-07-2005, 06:16 PM

Do things break on dirt ?

Sourbastard · 05-07-2005, 08:11 PM

Watch some replays of the tasmanian targa. The answer is a resounding "hell yes".

loxxr6 · 05-07-2005, 09:41 PM

Go the Esky.

They're so much damn fun !

The MaDDeSTMaN · 05-07-2005, 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loxxr6

Go the Esky.

They're so much damn fun !

Indeed they are! I doubt a Telstar (particularly a red one) would be anywhere near as much fun to drive, lol!

Wish I didn't have to sell mine :(

MITCHAY · 05-07-2005, 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The MaDDeSTMaN

Indeed they are! I doubt a Telstar (particularly a red one) would be anywhere near as much fun to drive, lol!

Wish I didn't have to sell mine :(

Lol mines silver and can tell you they are. Especially on dirt with the handbrake. Or just chuck it in reverse. :voldar02: Dont do it though anymore not good on the wallet. Wouldnt mind goin for a bash in an Eskie though. Some guy had one at my college and he could drift that thing so well.

b2tf · 05-07-2005, 10:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The MaDDeSTMaN

Indeed they are! I doubt a Telstar (particularly a red one) would be anywhere near as much fun to drive, lol!

Hey now, those Red Telstars are beasts if you look at the from a certain angle.

The MaDDeSTMaN · 05-07-2005, 11:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MITCHAY

Lol mines silver and can tell you they are. Especially on dirt with the handbrake. Or just chuck it in reverse. :voldar02: Dont do it though anymore not good on the wallet. Wouldnt mind goin for a bash in an Eskie though. Some guy had one at my college and he could drift that thing so well.

Hehehe, yeah, they drift pretty well, I was just joking about the Telstar (the important part was about it being a RED telstar, lol)

:

Escorts are fun cars, particularly manual 2 litres with 3.77:1 diffs...

MITCHAY · 05-07-2005, 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The MaDDeSTMaN

Hehehe, yeah, they drift pretty well, I was just joking about the Telstar (the important part was about it being a RED telstar, lol)

:

Escorts are fun cars, particularly manual 2 litres with 3.77:1 diffs...

Lol it should have been called Dez syndrome!

Oh man this eskie could drift. Though it was stupid where he did it (The main road comming into the college car park IN THE RAIN) it was still a hoot to watch.

smciner1 · 05-07-2005, 11:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MITCHAY

Oh man this eskie could drift. Though it was stupid where he did it (The main road comming into the college car park IN THE RAIN) it was still a hoot to watch.

As the great Roger Clarke once said. "You know you have lost control of an Escort when you are looking through the back window and not a side window (tm)".

The MaDDeSTMaN · 05-07-2005, 11:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MITCHAY

Lol it should have been called Dez syndrome!

Oh man this eskie could drift. Though it was stupid where he did it (The main road comming into the college car park IN THE RAIN) it was still a hoot to watch.

Yeah, I've found that, as odd as it may seem, it's easier to control an Escort in the wet then it is in the dry, they just seem to be really well balanced when there isn't much grip.

I know one time it took me by suprise just after I got it back on the road, it was raining and the back end started to slide while I was cornering, I caught it before it came around all the way, but it still would have been at least 45 degrees sideways before I pulled it back into line, must have looked cool to anybody who saw it because the engine was sitting on about 4 grand (backing off would NOT have been a good idea I think), and it was so easy to do, although it was unintentional and I doubt I'd try to do exactly the same thing again.

I know I wouldn't think about throwing the XF around the same way I would the Escort, particularly in the wet.

InitialD · 05-07-2005, 11:48 PM

LMAO this is a ****er!

the eseries part is so true

Quote:

Physical Traits -
You can be seen lingering near the canon muffler aisle of supercheap, dreaming of what could be, then purchase that 6 pack of degreaser and a new head gasket, remembering what is.

I do this once a week :P

(as i like neons i must be also suffer jap import syndrome... MMmm Skyline) :P