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Welcome to the Australian Ford Forums forum. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and inserts advertising. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features without post based advertising banners. Registration is simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. Please Note: All new registrations go through a manual approval queue to keep spammers out. This is checked twice each day so there will be a delay before your registration is activated. |
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| The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat |
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09-11-2006, 06:43 PM
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#61 | ||
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Regular Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Victoria
Posts: 384
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Crabopple? I've been calling her Crandle!
Insurance guy - "So this place Moe's is a business of some sort?" Homer - "It was a pornography store, I was buying pornography" Homer's brain - "Hehe, I would have never thought of that!" Patty & Selma - "Her legend will live on." Homer's brain - "Yeah, legend of the dog-faced woman!" Homer - "Hahahaahaahah! Legend of the dog-faced woman!" Homer - "Operator!, Give me the number for 911!"
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09-11-2006, 08:42 PM
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#62 | |||
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Starter Motor
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 2
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09-11-2006, 08:44 PM
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#63 | ||
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my one day build...
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 177
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'i am so smart, i am so smart, S M R T, i mean S M A R T' lol
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09-11-2006, 08:45 PM
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#64 | ||
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Spin 'em Habib !
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Cranbourne Victoria
Posts: 3,854
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Krusty Ribwich - Try the sauce , im drenched in it !
Homer - Mmm you Taste good , i could lick you all DAY ! Krusty Ribwich - and yet my kids still think im a failure ! man , the simpsons is the best
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AU2PWR |
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09-11-2006, 08:46 PM
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#65 | ||
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Spin 'em Habib !
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Cranbourne Victoria
Posts: 3,854
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the Ultimate simpsons line - WOOHOO !
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AU2PWR |
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09-11-2006, 09:12 PM
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#66 | ||
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Victory is Mine
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 7th Circle of Hell
Posts: 179
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Homer with Spit roast Pig flying thru the air
"It's just a little airborn. It's still good, it's still good!" 
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I'm baaack!!! ..... |
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09-11-2006, 09:19 PM
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#67 | ||
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meow
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Where the Pirates are.
Posts: 2,744
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Dude! NO! WTF are you doing?!
Ok, I might a made that one up, you may quote me on that from here on in. |
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09-11-2006, 10:31 PM
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#68 | ||
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XY Driv3r
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 3,004
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The one that makes me cry everytime i hear it... (the episode where the kids get the uniforms)
Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked! Marge: HOMER! Homer: I gotta go Moe my damn weiner kids are listening. LisaDad were not weiner kids HomerThen why are you dressed like that? Lisa & BartThey made us HomerBoy i know you can read my mind yum yum yum yum yum yum yum
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09-11-2006, 11:09 PM
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#69 | ||
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An Old Boss™©
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 1,145
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Coming from a maths background I enjoy all the references they manage to slip in!
Homer:The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side. Man in cubicle:That's a RIGHT triangle ya idiot! Homer:D'oh!  Mathemagician: Now, prepare to marvel at the mysteries of the universe, as I make this remainder disappear. Lisa: But 7 goes into 28 four times! Mathemagician: Ah but this is a MAGIC seven!  Kent Brockman: Mr. Simpson, how do you respond to the charges that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down eighty percent, while heavy sack-beatings are up a shocking 900%? Homer: Aw, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. Fourfty percent of all people know that. 
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Where did I go? What was I doing there?™© |
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09-11-2006, 11:22 PM
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#70 | ||
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I Bleed Orange!
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: sydney
Posts: 685
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marge simpson to lawyer "that must be very rewarding for you"
to which he replies "yes, the money is good".
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DRCOOK XY BUILD - http://fordforums.com.au/showthread.php?t=56248 |
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09-11-2006, 11:27 PM
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#71 | ||
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.
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 6,197
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Groundskeeper Willy teaching French Class: Bonjourrrrrr ya cheese eatin surrender monkey's!
Some Guy: You must be stupider than you look; Homer: Stupider like a fox. Homer: I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead! Homer: Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over 50, and if its speed changed, it would explode! I think it was called, 'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down. Homer: Tell him I'm going to the back seat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes! Homer: Stealing! How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain whats-his-name? |
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09-11-2006, 11:27 PM
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#72 | ||
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1967 XR Falcon
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: South Coast
Posts: 2,231
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Some of my favourites in audio format. I also like in the episode where bart comes home after seeing his 'big brother' tom and homer is waiting. "youve been galavenging around with that big brother of yours! havnt choo! HAVNT CHOO! LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! - probably better seen then read.
http://www.coflash.com/stuff/vege3.mp3 http://www.coflash.com/stuff/vege2.mp3 http://www.coflash.com/stuff/vege.mp3
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Coflash.com |
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10-11-2006, 12:55 AM
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#73 | ||
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FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Christies Beach
Posts: 964
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Homer:That kids got bosom's!!
Homer chases him witha wet towel wipping him Fat German Kid:Do not make me run, i am full of chocolate!
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What would forum's be without post whoring know it all's......... |
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10-11-2006, 07:44 AM
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#74 | ||||
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Rice aint nice!
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Kilsyth, Victoria
Posts: 379
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Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa. Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product. Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy? Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning. Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart. Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out. Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said. Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case. Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to. Homer: Bart, go to your room.
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10-11-2006, 07:45 AM
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#75 | ||||
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Rice aint nice!
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Kilsyth, Victoria
Posts: 379
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Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.
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10-11-2006, 07:47 AM
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#76 | ||||
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Rice aint nice!
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Kilsyth, Victoria
Posts: 379
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Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.
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10-11-2006, 07:48 AM
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#77 | ||||
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Rice aint nice!
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Kilsyth, Victoria
Posts: 379
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Marge: Homer! There's someone here who can help you...
Homer: Is it Batman? Marge: No, he's a scientist. Homer: Batman's a scientist?! Marge: It's not Batman!
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10-11-2006, 07:49 AM
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#78 | ||
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Regular Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 33
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Homer runs to answer the phone in his office only wearing a towel and says "You will have to speak up im wearing a towel"
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You will have to speak up im wearing a Towel |
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10-11-2006, 07:50 AM
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#79 | ||||
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Rice aint nice!
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Kilsyth, Victoria
Posts: 379
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Chief Wiggum: Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1... 2.
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10-11-2006, 09:13 AM
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#80 | |||
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 6,197
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10-11-2006, 09:45 AM
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#81 | ||||
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To shreads you say?!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: FNQ
Posts: 538
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BAII XR6 Ute (manual) Winter white. Quote:
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10-11-2006, 01:51 PM
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#82 | ||
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Stroking it...
Join Date: May 2005
Location: The 'butt
Posts: 2,844
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Well you gotta love the Weed episode...
1. HOMER: (whispering) Marge I just realized....I'm am the OWL in the word now! AND IF YOU TELL ANYONE..!!!! 2. HOMER(as he's stroking Burn's face): You're coverd with a very fine fuzz. 3. OTTO: Hey! CHEMP is HEMP spelled backwards!! HOMER: And OTTO is....OTTO backwards! OTTO:.....Now I'm scared. And of course... Homer: I am so smart, i am so smart, S M R T-I meant S M A R T Cam |
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10-11-2006, 02:37 PM
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#83 | ||
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FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sydney
Posts: 1,974
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Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts! Homer: Explain how! Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services! Homer: Woo-hoo! ______ Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday. Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend. ________ When Homer buys the chick 4WD Gill - "I need this sale, my wifes gonna leave me" Car Salesman - "I'll take it from here Gill" Gill picks up phone - "You should have seen me honey, I was so close to making a sale. Hey, who is that in the background? Awwww, is that Tom? I thought you were gonna leave him. No, no... dont put him on. Oh, hi Tom!" ______ And my all time favourite: Homer "Looks like the bear patrol is working perfectly" Lisa "Thats fairly specious reasoning dad" Homer Why thank you honey" Lisa "For that matter i could say this rock keeps away tigers" Homer "Hmmm how does it work" Lisa "It dosn't work it's just a stupid rock, but I don't see any tigers around do you?" Homer [long pause] "Lisa, i'd like to buy your rock"
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1966 Ford Mustang coupe. 347 stroker, PA reverse manual C4, TCE high stall converter, B&M Pro Ratchet, Edelbrock alum heads, Edelbrock intake manifold, MSD ignition, Holley Street HP 750 CFM carb, gilmer drive, wrapped Hooker Super Comp Headers, dual 3" straight through exhaust, Bilstein shocks, custom springs, full poly suspension, American Racing rims, Open Tracker roller spring saddles and shelby drop. Still to go - Holley Sniper EFI with integrated fuel cell. |
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10-11-2006, 02:55 PM
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#84 | ||
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FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 1,652
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Homer: To get out of jury duty just tell them you are prejudiced against all races. (He owes me for that one)
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10-11-2006, 03:24 PM
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#85 | ||
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Force Fed Fords
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Lysterfield
Posts: 1,914
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Don't know if it's been done but anyway.
The espisode is where Hower gets a new job with Mr. Scoprio in the Bond spin-off episode. HOMER: Oh my god thats a Joe Polansci hat!!!( looking into a sports memorabilia store) BART: Why don't you by it dad? HOMER: Nah, only high powered business men can wear a hat like that? HOMER: High powered busy guys like me!!!! HOMER: Guys like me!!!! HOWER: Hey I'm a guy like me!!!
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BA XR6 TURBO 310rwkw and always chasing more Now with 6th Gear RAPID PERFORMANCE ORSM FORD CRUISER
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10-11-2006, 03:51 PM
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#86 | |||
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Stroking it...
Join Date: May 2005
Location: The 'butt
Posts: 2,844
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10-11-2006, 04:09 PM
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#87 | ||
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Starter Motor
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 19
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Homer buying an RV, desperately wanting to outdo Flanders:
Homer: Does it have a deep frier? Salesman: It has four of them, one for each part of the chicken. Chief Wiggum, trying to describe his whereabouts to HQ: Location? Um, there's trees, asphalt, rocks. I'm directly under the earth's sun...... now! Homer again, after finding the mini TV in the snow: Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover |
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10-11-2006, 04:13 PM
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#88 | ||||
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Rice aint nice!
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Kilsyth, Victoria
Posts: 379
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Lisa: Dad, don't you think you're overreacting?
Homer: Don't you think you're *under*reacting? Lisa: This conversation is over. Homer: This conversation is *under*. Lisa: Goodbye. Homer: *bad*bye ----------------------------------- Homer: Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos. ----------------------------------- Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau? Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it. Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles. --------------------------------------- Chief Wiggum: This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB for a male suspect, driving a... car of some sort, heading in the direction of, uh, you know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless. ----------------------------------- Wife: Now Cletus, why did ya haf to park next to my parents? Cletus: Now, Now, Hun, they're my parents too... ----------------------------------- Krusty: Lets just say it moved me. To a bigger house! Oh crap, I said the loud part quiet and the quiet part loud. ---------------------------------- Homer: You couldn't fool your own mother on the foolingest day of your life with an electrified fooling machine! -------------------------------- Barney: Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic. Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scouts meeting. Barney: Is it, or is it you girls can't admit that you have a problem? -------------------------------- Homer: It's true, I'm a Rageaholic.....I just can't live without Rageahol! --------------------------------- Homer: Oh Lisa, there's no record of a hurricane ever hitting Springfield. Lisa: Yes, but the records only go back to 1978 when the hall of records was mysteriously blown away. ----------------------------------- Chief Wiggum: Well let me ask you this: shut up. ----------------------------------- Ralph Wiggum: Me fail English? That's Unpossible Heheheheh That'll do for a while...
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10-11-2006, 04:30 PM
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#89 | ||
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since the beginning
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Werribee
Posts: 139
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MOOONPIE....WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE.
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BF F6 10.80@131mph Street Trim
10.47@135mph Race Trim, Std Factory Turbo Always Autotech |
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10-11-2006, 04:48 PM
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#90 | ||||
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Rice aint nice!
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Kilsyth, Victoria
Posts: 379
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Mr.Burns: Quick Smithers. Bring the mind eraser device!
Smithers:You mean the revolver, sir? Mr.Burns: Precisely. --------------------------------- Chief Wiggum: Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city! He is the cancer and I am the ... uh ... what cures cancer? --------------------------------- Marge: [on radio] Husband on murderous rampage. Send help. Over. Chief Wiggum: Whew, thank God that's over. I was worried for a little bit. ------------------------------ Billy Corgan: "Billy Corgan, 'Smashing Pumpkins'." Homer Simpson: "Homer Simpson, smiling politely." --------------------------- Ned Flanders: You ugly hate-filled man. Moe: Hey. I may be ugly and I may be hate-filled but ... uh ... what was that last thing you said? ----------------------------- Homer: I thought you were dead Mother Simpson: I thought you were dead Gravedigger: Dang Blasted! Isn't anybody in this dad-gummed cemetery dead? Hans Moleman: (popping out of coffin) I didn't want to make a fuss, but now that you mention it... ---------------------------------- Lisa: I'm an ugmo. Homer: Now, that's not true. You're cute as a bug's ear. Lisa: Father's have to say that little stuff. Homer: Dad, am I cute as a bug's ear? Grandpa: No. You're homely as a mule's butt. Homer: There. See? ------------------------------ Marge - Stay away from my boy! Sideshow Bob - Oh i'll stay away alright STAY AWAY FOR EVER!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ... wait thats not right. (walks off)(runs back) Sideshow Bob - Ok, Marge, I've got a good one now, say "stay away from my boy again." Marge - No! ----------------------- Kent Brockman: Dozens of people are gunned down each day, but until now, none of them was important. At 3:00 PM Friday, local aurocrat C. Montgomery Burns was shot following a tense confrontation at town hall. He was taken to a hospital where he was pronounced dead. He was then taken to a better hospital where his condition was upgraded to "alive." ---------------------------------- Chief Wiggum: Sideshow Bob has no decency. He called me Chief Piggum. (laughs) Oh wait, I get it, he's all right. ------------------------------ Homer: That guy impressed me and I am not easily impressed. Wow. A *blue car*. ------------------------------ Homer: Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman! --------------------------------- Marge; Grandpa, are you sitting on the apple pie? Grandpa: I sure hope so... That'll do for a while I suppose...LOL
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