Mental Disease, and you. - Page 5

08-07-2005, 01:10 AM

good stuff ;) love it . e series and utes all the way

oops tis 460cixy here realy should check im loged i before i post

Shonky · 11-07-2005, 10:29 AM

Bwahaha! I had a look at LS1 last night... Sourbastard you truly are the magnificent bastard! Gave him a fair pasting...

Suggestions for future ailments... LandRover owners syndrome: Theres about 5 pages of disease in that topic!

Casper · 12-09-2006, 08:33 PM

I thought I'd return this for all the new members who hadn't heard the "word of Sourbastard"

XR6_661 · 12-09-2006, 08:47 PM

We need a Toyota Camry owners one, noting how the straw hat on the rear parcel shelf makes them better then you.

Fairlane · 12-09-2006, 09:11 PM

Toyota Camry Owners Syndrome
Psychological Requirements:
Senality

Symptoms:
Delusional Traits -
ABC AM Radio doesnt sound like its being played with a 1930s Vacuum valve wireless
The Camry Sportivo is a true sports car on par with the Jaguar XJ.
The Camry is a superior to a lexus because its cheaper
The Camry is the true succesor to the crown
FWD Understeer is an important safety feature
The more spokes a wheel has the better
Toyota dealers represent the nirvana in road technology, dealer staff are to be treat in a similiar manner as doctors and lawyers
Age and 'Expierience' and a disabled permit entitles the driver to any car parking spot in the shopping centre
Speed advisory signs on corners are for elite Sportivo drivers only

Hallucinations -
95% of drivers are ethnic, P-plate, car thieves with Slick hair and dangerous 'imported' (read ethnic) vehicles- as seen on ACA
Contemplates why 'A country Practice' was pulled from channel 7 whilst stealing a car spot at Westfield

Physical Traits -
Walking Stick
Bowling Whites
Inability to see over Dashboard even with Sydney Whitepages as booster

Treatment
Court ordered removal of licence after running over small animals/childrem

Prognosis
Will continue to kill, maim and bowl until licence is revoked or bastard son with Power of Attoney ships them off to a Nursing Home.

*Though i cant talk to much I owned an Avalon :(

Dezza · 12-09-2006, 09:13 PM

LOL at this thread. The e-series one is so true except for the cannon exhaust aisle at Supercheap Auto. I wouldn't go near that aisle, unless I was going to blow it up!

XR6_661 · 12-09-2006, 09:14 PM

Hell yeah!!! hahahah!!

Good job!

AussieJason · 12-09-2006, 09:26 PM

Lol... Well done!

:

Smoked · 12-09-2006, 09:51 PM

Brilliant, just brilliant.

What about LPG Drivers.

normxb · 12-09-2006, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sourbastard

It has come to our attention that the motoring public are suffering from a series of mental and physical ailments, we have tried to catalogue them here in an attempt to have transparency in the Mental health field.

Cleveland Owner Syndrome
Psychological Requirements:
Senility due to old age

Symptoms:
Delusional Traits -
All time stopped for you in 1984 when the last Cleveland was produced.
You believe that eventually Cardigans will come back into style, once Ford "Wakes Up!" and start producing brand new Carbie fed Clevelands for the BC Falcon.
You believe all fuel bills should be 3 digits long on a weekly basis.
Even though your toploader has the feel of a stiltson wrench in bucket of river rocks you think its pretty slick.
You truely believy handling involves a threefold increase in horsepower.
You cruise aimlessly seaking out that one last bowser of real super, not that poofy premium.

Hallucinations -
Cleveland owners dont have hallucinations, they tell it like it is with frank honesty and integrity. Even when they are hallucinating.

Physical Traits -
Back injuries from the mistaken belief that 3 adult males can actually lift out an FMX unassisted.
Hand injuries due to clutching the wheel during takeoff in a vain attempt to control the vehicle.

Mullet Hairdos. Sideburns. Flannel Shirts. Winnie Blues.

Treatment
Being dragged kicking and screaming into the present on a daily basis.

Prognosis
Untreated the cleveland owner will continue to live in the past, until they are all gathered together in a theme park on an island, to live out the remainder of their lives in their traditional dinosaur way.

* Delete = Mullet Hairdos. Sideburns. Flannel Shirts. Winnie Blues.

* Replace With = Bald (or close) 5 O'clock Shadow . Horizon 4's.

sourbastard = YOU been reading my "Mail"

:

Damn "Classic" Gold , Mate

**Mechan1k** · 12-09-2006, 10:38 PM

That was great ... had a good laugh indeed.
Now need to put in the Territory Syndrome

HLC · 12-09-2006, 10:53 PM

awesome!

Steve · 12-09-2006, 11:06 PM

More! Must have MORE!

XPfalcon170 · 12-09-2006, 11:12 PM

very funny indeed.

FGX-351 · 12-09-2006, 11:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Casper

I thought I'd return this for all the new members who hadn't heard the "word of Sourbastard"

I'm not sure if I prefer this or his version of "It was the night before christmas". lol

Danny · 13-09-2006, 12:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sourbastard

(E-Series Owners Syndrome)You are sure fitting enough BA parts will actually rewind your odometer.

That is Absolutely, utterly, and Stupendously GOLDEN!

bathurst77 · 13-09-2006, 12:30 AM

I drive a BA.. coz Im better then everyone.. and on teh weekend I DID hear Allan Moffat on the radio as i was driving, so i guess he WAS talking to me thru my ICC.... now im worried..
but mine is a Barra6 and your posting only took a shot at v8 owners..
that just proves that us BA i6 owners are the best!

Steve · 13-09-2006, 01:05 AM

I just realised I've owned enough cars to fit into eight of those categories. I must be one very confused and mixed up bashtid.

RG · 13-09-2006, 01:45 AM

As the owner of both an AU and an EL I really am done for, A povvo bastard that won't accept his car is ugly (because it isn't!). Well at least I have a real V8.

The Monty · 13-09-2006, 06:23 AM

I never even new this thread existed. What a classic, the AU owner one is me to a T.

walterl · 13-09-2006, 09:11 AM

Now being a magna owner, going from an EF XR8 slug box puss machine, my magna would blow away that 5LT peice of ****. Ill race any of you falcon 6's anyday. At least magnas with exhausts dont souns like something throwing up everywhere. Cheers guys.

walterl · 13-09-2006, 09:13 AM

nah just stirring you's up guys, falcons are good cars, i just wanted something better on fuel. LOL bloody funny **** though!!!!!

walterl · 13-09-2006, 09:29 AM

nah just stirring you's up guys, falcons are good cars, i just wanted something better on fuel. LOL bloody funny **** though!!!!!

Envious · 13-09-2006, 09:34 AM

Absolute genius..

Whats that Alan? oh, Alan just informed me he thinks i need new tyres, I better go, Mr Moffat gets angry when i dont listen to him....

Stevo · 13-09-2006, 10:52 AM

as an owner of an AU and an eseries, ....... you can all go and get rightfully rodgered.

Melz · 13-09-2006, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stevo

as an owner of an AU and an eseries, ....... you can all go and get rightfully rodgered.

Two wrongs don't make a right.......

Interceptor · 13-09-2006, 11:28 AM

we need one for XF Ghia owners (or ghia owners in general...... we tend to be a lil snobby) and what about one for ED Sprint owners?

AWD Chaser · 13-09-2006, 11:53 AM

Torana Owners Syndrome

Psychological Requirements:
Young or old, mechanic history in family, would smoke a cigarette made from tyre rubber.

Symptoms:
Delusional Traits -
You believe that louder is better, and the lower the idle rpm, the better. Drag tyres make a great set of road tyres. Mufflers are for people with Honda Civics. A roll cage is better then an airbag. Custom dash is a requirement. Yellow Torana’s go half a second faster on the quarter mile. Chrome engines differ the line between rich enthusiasts and backyard mechanics. A V8 is the only engine that should be in any Torana, yet you will still whinge about fuel prices. No matter how good, it’s probably full of rust.

Hallucinations -
You believe your Torana is just as good as Peter Brock’s XU1 that he raced at Bathurst. Your Torana is better then any HSV, not just because of power, but also looks. You believe that the only good sound comes from your engine, whereas you actually ran out of money for a stereo. You one day plan on fitting a sunroof. You believe that Ned Kelly could have died of old age if his body armour was made from checker-plate steel.

Physical Traits -
Holden through and through, no car built after 1970 is any good. EPA laws should be scrapped. 90% of all Torana’s are unregistered.

Treatment
You were born a Torana man, so either death at Bathurst Mountain can cure this, or inheriting a Ford Mustang.

Prognosis
Without treatment, your head will swell so big, that you will not be able to fit in your car anymore. This will force you to upgrade to a Holden Kingswood, preferably the GTS model.

coonpanelvan · 13-09-2006, 02:44 PM

we need a XR6 N/A one, something along the lines of drivers think they are performance sedans because of body kit and spoiler etc

Envious · 13-09-2006, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by coonpanelvan

we need a XR6 N/A one, something along the lines of drivers think they are performance sedans because of body kit and spoiler etc

Its not the drivers, its the insurance companies that think this..lol