Favourite Simpsons quotes. - Page 6

Boss 260 Ute · 02-02-2007, 07:20 AM

Loving this thread.

Me fail english, That's UNPOSSIBLE!

xwgasaxe · 02-02-2007, 04:30 PM

Sea Captain: Aargh!! She be a sea worthy vessel.

ba_5speed · 02-02-2007, 07:51 PM

Milhouse: bart remember when santa's little helper ate my goldfish, but you said i didnt have any goldfish. WHY DID I HAVE THE BOWL BART, WHY DID I HAVE THE BOWL

Homer: if i had my gun i would kill you
Gun store guy: yeah well you dont

Homer: i'd like a monkey please, and maybe one of those dogs, what do they do
Pet store owner: uh they serve as seeing eyes for the blind sir
Homer: do they do any other tricks
pet store owner: nooo
Homer: just the monkey then
pet store owner: may i enquire how you are differently abled
Homer: ohh im not handicapped, im just lazy

R0BD0G · 02-02-2007, 08:51 PM

Bart: wow.....for once dads butt prevented the release of toxic g......
Marge: BART!!

Hitman · 02-02-2007, 11:01 PM

Groundskeeper Willie: It won't last. Brothers and sisters are natural enemies. Like Englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!

Cletus (at the carwash): All right youngens, bath time. Cover up your eyes and drop your britches! Who wants wax?

Homer: I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!

Cobravan · 03-02-2007, 02:03 AM

Good old Jasper in the who shot mr Burns episode;

"Shot who in the what now"

Night Runner · 03-02-2007, 07:07 AM

LMAO!

: Just funny reading them.
The Simpsons - The benchmark for cartoons that no other has reached.

Ford_V8 · 03-02-2007, 11:21 AM

(homer) If the Bible has taught us nothing else ,and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girl sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such.

Bossxr8 · 03-02-2007, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NZ-TS50

LMAO!

: Just funny reading them.
The Simpsons - The benchmark for cartoons that no other has reached.

Cough, cough, Family Guy, cough, cough.

I FluXx I · 03-02-2007, 03:56 PM

Homer: [sleepy] Must...protect...sugar. Thieves everywhere. The strong
must protect the sweet...the sweet...[snores]
Marge: [walking out] Homer?
Homer: [with a Spanish accent] In America, first you get the sugar, then
you get the power, then you get the women...[snores]
Marge: Homer...Homer!
Homer: Wha...what?
Marge: I want you to forget about guarding the stupid sugar! You're
being completely paranoid.
Homer: Oh, am I? Am I really? Ah ha!
[Pulls a man from behind the pile]
Thief: [holds teacup and saucer] Hello.
Homer: All right, pal: where'd you get the sugar for that tea?
Thief: I nicked it when you let your guard down for that split second,
and I'd do it again. [sips tea] Goodbye.

Homer pleads his case with Marge.

Homer: You see, Marge? Do you see?
Marge: Homer, when are you going to give up this crazy sugar scheme?
Homer: Never, Marge! Never. I can't live the button-down life like
you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the
creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with
my cocky stride and musky odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling
of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke
their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer
Simpson?"
Marge: Look, just get rid of the sugar, OK?
Homer: No! [Marge leaves]
[a swarm of bees lands on Homer and the sugar pile]
Aah! Hey, get off my sugar. Bad bees! Bad! [gets stung]
Ow. Oww! Oh, they're defending themselves somehow.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4b5bip_tVA

I FluXx I · 03-02-2007, 04:02 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49IDp76kjPw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVR91_iNMTk

lol

Boss 260 Ute · 03-02-2007, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by I FluXx I

Homer: [sleepy] Must...protect...sugar. Thieves everywhere. The strong
must protect the sweet...the sweet...[snores]
Marge: [walking out] Homer?
Homer: [with a Spanish accent] In America, first you get the sugar, then
you get the power, then you get the women...[snores]
Marge: Homer...Homer!
Homer: Wha...what?
Marge: I want you to forget about guarding the stupid sugar! You're
being completely paranoid.
Homer: Oh, am I? Am I really? Ah ha!
[Pulls a man from behind the pile]
Thief: [holds teacup and saucer] Hello.
Homer: All right, pal: where'd you get the sugar for that tea?
Thief: I nicked it when you let your guard down for that split second,
and I'd do it again. [sips tea] Goodbye.

Homer pleads his case with Marge.

Homer: You see, Marge? Do you see?
Marge: Homer, when are you going to give up this crazy sugar scheme?
Homer: Never, Marge! Never. I can't live the button-down life like
you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the
creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with
my cocky stride and musky odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling
of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke
their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer
Simpson?"
Marge: Look, just get rid of the sugar, OK?
Homer: No! [Marge leaves]
[a swarm of bees lands on Homer and the sugar pile]
Aah! Hey, get off my sugar. Bad bees! Bad! [gets stung]
Ow. Oww! Oh, they're defending themselves somehow.

I love that episode

XR8-260 · 03-02-2007, 04:46 PM

Homer sitting naked in his front yard... Ned Flanders wife spots him.

Maude: My eyes have been soiled!
Homer: Come on, Maude, the human wang is a beautiful thing.

:eclipsee_

SHIFTN · 13-08-2007, 05:44 PM

this thread is cool

i have some good ones in my sig

-SHIFTN

uranium_death · 13-08-2007, 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by uranium_death

One of my favourites episodes for the quotes alone was "The Boy Who Knew Too Much".

This was the one where Freddy Quimby was accused of beating the French waiter over the pronunciation of Chowder. Two gems here.

Number 1

The jury discuss the case in their private room.

Jasper: Why bother voting? He's guilty.
Flanders: Well, we might as well make it official.
Homer: What does "sequestered" mean?
Skinner: If the jury is deadlocked they're put up in a hotel together
so they can't communicate with the outside world.
Homer: What does "deadlocked" mean?
Skinner: It's when the jury can't agree on a verdict.
Homer: Uh huh. And "if"?
Skinner: A conjunction meaning "in the event that" or "on condition
that".
Homer: So _if_ we don't all vote the same way, we'll be _deadlocked_
and have to be _sequestered_ in the Springfield Palace Hotel
--
Patty: That's not going to happen, Homer.
Jasper: Let's vote. My liver is failing.
Homer: -- where we'll get a free room, free food, free swimming pool,
free HBO -- Ooh! "Free Willy"!
Skinner: Justice is not a frivolous thing, Simpson. It has little if
anything to do with a disobedient whale. Now let's vote!
Homer: Uh, how are the rest of you voting?
Everyone: Guilty.
Homer: OK, fine. How many S's in "innocent"?
Everyone: Aw.
Homer: I'm only doing what I think is right. I believe Freddy Quimby
should walk out of here a free hotel.

Brilliant!

Number 2

In their bedroom that night, Homer and Marge lie surrounded by a horde
of souvenirs from the Springfield Palace Hotel.

Homer: Well, Marge, it was horrible. Everyone was against me in that
jury room. But I stood by the courage of my convictions and I
prevailed. And that's why we had chinese food for lunch.

These are my two favourites.

zx10 · 13-08-2007, 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SHIFTN

this thread is cool

i have some good ones in my sig

Quote:
Marge: But I can't snuggle with Max Power.
Homer: You don't snuggle with Max Power, you hold on and feel the G's! (makes thrusting motions with his hips)
-SHIFTN

Gold

From the same ep:

TRENT STEEL: Hey, great name.
HOMER (AKA MAX POWER): Thanks, I saw it on a hair dryer.

Mark351 · 13-08-2007, 08:42 PM

"The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now." - Phone Message

Dr. Nick: Hi everybody!
Homer+Bart: Hi Doctor Nick!
Nick: [to Homer] Now there are many options available for dangerously underweighted individuals like yourself. I recomment a slow, steady gorging process combined with assal horizontology.
Homer: [pensive] Of course.
Nick: [points to a chart] You'll want to focus on the neglected food groups such as the whipped group, the congealed group, and the chocotastic!
Homer: What can I do to speed the whole thing up, Doctor?
Nick: Well, be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use Pop-Tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon!
Bart: You could brush your teeth with milkshakes!
Dr. Nick: Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too? And remember, if you're not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's your window to weight gain. Bye bye, everybody!

...and last but absolutely not least, the best of Ralph Wiggum parts 1 and 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnisoR_xb3k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPfTQYZ_2aQ

schnoods · 13-08-2007, 08:52 PM

And I for one welcome our new insect overlords.... Kent Brockman

seXE · 13-08-2007, 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ba_5speed

Milhouse: bart remember when santa's little helper ate my goldfish, but you said i didnt have any goldfish. WHY DID I HAVE THE BOWL BART, WHY DID I HAVE THE BOWL

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHAH OH MY GOD i love this one.

DBourne · 13-08-2007, 09:15 PM

notice the theme... all pre year 2000... man oh man the simpsons died in the after that :(

these quotes bring back lots of naustalga(sp)

falzoony · 13-08-2007, 09:17 PM

Homer: "You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel"

Auslandau · 13-08-2007, 09:31 PM

Thanks to who ever dug this old thread up ..... just wasted an hour or so!!!!

"This ain't Happy Days ..... and you certainly ain't the FONZ!!"

| [/url] |

SunDrifter · 14-08-2007, 10:15 AM

Spider pig, Spider pig, does whatever a spider pig does!

Can he swing from a web, no he can't, he's a pig.

Look out, there goes the spider pig!

dannyxm · 14-08-2007, 01:10 PM

Random girl - "Duffman, you said you would call??"

Duffman - "DUFFMAN, SAYS A LOT OF THINGS!!!!"

XR8putts · 14-08-2007, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bossxr8

Cough, cough, Family Guy, cough, cough.

Hell no.

Family guy relies on mocking current events and lame flashbacks. Family Guy tries so hard to be like the Simpsons it's not funny.

Morpheus · 14-08-2007, 03:37 PM

"That sounds like Betty! She's in pain!!" "She takes premium dude, PREMIUM!!"

Addz08 · 14-08-2007, 04:20 PM

Ah Mr Tawillagher, we had an accident down at the ceeement miixxeeer, it,s Geeech our smeelll hound..

Bax · 14-08-2007, 04:22 PM

Todd Flanders: I wish I had a dad like Homer.
Ned Flanders: Well I wish you didn't have the devil’s curly hair

Homer Simpson: Stand back! I've got a chain saw!

Santa's Little Helper: [subtitled] I did things no dog should. They will haunt me forever.

Homer Simpson: [to Pig] Maybe WE should kiss, just to break the tension.

Lisa Simpson: But I'm so angry.
Marge Simpson: You're a woman. Just hold on to it forever.

Woman: You hang up first.
Man: No, you hang up first!
Woman: Okay! [Hangs up]
Man: What th-! She hung up on me!

EPA Guard: (EPA truck has come to a stop in front of Homer's misspelt and handpainted STOP sign) You can't just stop at every "Sop," "Yeld" and "One Vay" sign we see.

And I can't find it... But I still laugh at Ralph blowing bubbles onto the Dome: Arghh! Blowback!

And +1 for Family Guy

Debzilla_108 · 14-08-2007, 04:22 PM

the ep when homer gets fat so he can work from home.

homer trying to use the phone: 'the fingers you have used are to fat... to order dialing wand please mash the key pad with your fist....'

dannyxm · 14-08-2007, 04:38 PM

Homer - meow meow meow meow meow meow