Depression, Anxiety

[Phildo]

Originally Posted by Grega

Question : Does anyone else really crash hard when Xmas time comes around. I normally have leave around this time not by my choice and I find going from 150% consumed with work to zero messes with me in a really bad way. Xmas 2015 was very dark for me.

I love Christmas time.

Each year, I jump on a plane to Bali. Stuff Kuta, I hire a cheap crap car and go for a drive (ie Suzuki Katana or Jimny).

I've driven around the the outside of Bali, through Bali, etc.

Accommodation is easy to find once you're out of Kuta. It's the quiet season, so everywhere is empty. I use a TomTom GPS with the Southeast Asia map and my iPhone (with various travel apps).

I'm over Bali these days, so I drive up to the Padang Bai ferry port and take the hire car to Lombok (880,000rp, about $A88). Take a few days to drive around the outside of Lombok, plus a few days on the Gili islands.

If you're not into driving then just go to the Gili islands.

I ignore Christmas day and New Year's Eve.

Book the air tickets early on Air Asia (cheapest) so that you can get the front row seats on the plane. This gives plenty of leg room. I get on the plane last, and off first.

I land at midnight and use Google maps and Booking.com or Wotif to have a hotel room selected and booked before I fly out ($A25-30). I get there, sleep and then go hunting for a hire car the next day. The Suzuki Katanas are getting hard to find now, but they are the car to have for driving around Bali or Lombok.

Don't sit around at Christmas and get upset. Pick somewhere cheap to go to and go there.

If you want drinking and clubbing then stick with Kuta.

Make sure that you have an International Driver's Permit before you go. Costs bugger all, but it's a requirement for travel insurance (most people overlook this, but insurance companies don't).

Don't sit around getting bored or upset over Christmas. Have a project or travel destination lined up... something to look forward to.

[BLUEYBA]

Originally Posted by Grega

Thanks BlueyBA. Don't want to imagine, my mind is busy enough and I don't want that in there pulling me down :| I try and keep it busy to keep the **** thinking at bay. Doesn't always work though.

Question : Does anyone else really crash hard when Xmas time comes around. I normally have leave around this time not by my choice and I find going from 150% consumed with work to zero messes with me in a really bad way. Xmas 2015 was very dark for me.

I think you need to fill your time with something. Like the others have said by going on a holiday and get away from it all. Do something that's for you and that you really enjoy. Maybe something where you can take your time and take things in and forget lifes pressures

[Burnout]

I have my Camper Trailer and go bush. This last year has been harder, had to hang around as Mum was old & crook too, she died last Tuesday morning.
I had my first anxiety attack when I was seven; when told I was going 450miles away to Boarding School. Been tough, been bad, been ok too. Some friends have helped, but mostly I do for myself.

[Grega]

sorry for your loss man. nothing i can say to make it any better.
i like the idea of a camper trailer and disappearing for a while. that was the idea of my hilux v8

[danzvtil]

Funny of this Bali talk, showing how important it is to monitor yourself and know your triggers. I was in Singapore a few months ago and went to little india. Like the real india, it is very hot and very crowded, I started to feel like crap, so left there after an hour or so. Then recently I was in bali for the first time with my family for a birthday celebration. More of the same, hot and busy with a lack of personal space which put me on edge. Then my cousin announced over brekky one morning a news story about terrorists targeting planes to Australia, and that set me off, I had to leave a day early.
So like any anxiety issue, my physical reaction was out of proportion to the actual danger, I hadn't taken any meds for 5 years and didn't take them with me .
My case is proof that knowing yourself and your triggers can help to manage anxiety and panic attacks and lessen their impact.

[Tui2]

Hi people, wow, just as i was having a bad start this morning, i turn to AFF to distract my irrational thoughts and here you all are, i suffer a severe form of Borderline Personality Disorder (a title the professionals now know is incorrect but haven't retitled), it's alot of overlapping disorders and the most debilitating would be the Bipolar overlap which really drops me hard at Christmas time. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy... google if you are down because no type or anount of medication has helped me better, in 30 odd years, more than this. Anxiety prevents me from most public situations but nothing like Christmas to isolate me as a way of protecting my family from embarrassment. Yes we must be able to recognise our triggers but how we deal with them takes time if at all we can, so avoid. WE ARE NOT ALONE

[TheSneakiness]

The biggest trigger for me as stupid as this sounds is when my son does the exact opposite of something I ask him to do within a small timeframe (lets say 3 minutes here for arguments sake)

If he either hasn't done it in that time or actually did do something but it was wrong then I tend to start flipping out, the anger and anxiety rises fairly quickly and it takes some time for me to settle myself down after the event.

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by Rapid_Axe

The biggest trigger for me as stupid as this sounds is when my son does the exact opposite of something I ask him to do within a small timeframe (lets say 3 minutes here for arguments sake)

If he either hasn't done it in that time or actually did do something but it was wrong then I tend to start flipping out, the anger and anxiety rises fairly quickly and it takes some time for me to settle myself down after the event.

A subject very close to me as i am divorced from my first wife and recently separated from fiancé of 8years, in both scenarios there were kids involved, my son and then step grandkids. Until the latter i had no real idea the affect of my disorder was having on, not just the kids, but me. So now being aware allows me some space (not always) to catch my thoughts before reacting in a way that i know i will punish myself for, for days. To better mental health is to be realistic in your goals and take baby steps, I'm at a stage after MANY YEARS where i now apologise pretty much instantly and explain why dad/pop reacted in that manner. And aslo explain my disorder at first meet and ask friends n family to please bear with me at least while i am trying. Communicate with the kids and see if they will help you help them.

[snopony]

Originally Posted by Rapid_Axe

The biggest trigger for me as stupid as this sounds is when my son does the exact opposite of something I ask him to do within a small timeframe (lets say 3 minutes here for arguments sake)

If he either hasn't done it in that time or actually did do something but it was wrong then I tend to start flipping out, the anger and anxiety rises fairly quickly and it takes some time for me to settle myself down after the event.

Theres a very good saying that Ive heard many times in discussions about mental health, because of the varying nature of different mental issues, anxieties and what not- and underlying causes/triggers/ and peoples varying personalities and how things affect different types of people in different ways.... often people do have a problem...and they cope quite well, and function quite normally and it dosn't really affect the quality of their life, their work or the people close to them such as family and friends... Its when whatever is wrong (and I hesitate to use the word wrong here) with them starts to have an impact and affect the people around them that it starts to become a problem. And thats when things need to be addressed.
Not knowing the childs age here, there are things such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and mindfulness, that when practiced really really help in that sort of situation.
All kids, unless you have the fortune to have a complete angel of a child, at some stage, prob more frequently than not are going to test you till you are taken to the borders of insanity and back, but with a few small practiced changes, you can teach your brain to go "meh, kids" and ignore it. (as long as whatever they are doing dosnt involve potentially injuring themselves, other people /kids/or property.
Worth looking into.

[Grega]

Rapid did the same thing happen to you as a kid ; ie: did your old man have a short fuse? I know i sometimes do the same with my two but I am more mindful of it these days and have changed my ways alot. When i was a kid if i didn't do what i was told when i was told instant death x eleventy million coming my way.

[supershifty]

My trigger for anxiety is crowds - like major shopping centres and especially trying out "new" experiences, I'm a complete bundle of mess when I go for job interviews - vomiting out of the ute door. I go to car shows or the drags and although there is a crowd there, I don't get anxious cos we're all there for the same thing - sounds crazy I know.

I manage the shopping centre anxiety by ordering home delivery where I can, if I have to "go out" I pick a quiet time usually on a Monday at opening time.

I'm on escalitopram to help manage my disorder, drug doesn't stop it but certainly takes the edge off things.

What has definitely helped me is surrounding myself with great and genuine people and getting rid of the ******* parasites. For those that are caring people make all the difference.

Cheers!

[BLUEYBA]

Originally Posted by supershifty

My trigger for anxiety is crowds - like major shopping centres and especially trying out "new" experiences, I'm a complete bundle of mess when I go for job interviews - vomiting out of the ute door. I go to car shows or the drags and although there is a crowd there, I don't get anxious cos we're all there for the same thing - sounds crazy I know.

I manage the shopping centre anxiety by ordering home delivery where I can, if I have to "go out" I pick a quiet time usually on a Monday at opening time.

I'm on escalitopram to help manage my disorder, drug doesn't stop it but certainly takes the edge off things.

What has definitely helped me is surrounding myself with great and genuine people and getting rid of the ******* parasites. For those that are caring people make all the difference.

Cheers!

Just a suggestion. Have you thought of slowly, small steps of challenging the anxiety. So only going to a small shopping centre for 10mins at a time and then increasing it. Also having a plan to deal with the anxiety should it start. I know it difficult as I have it as well and it controlled me for so long and still tries to but 99% of the time I control it now. Congnitive behaviour therapy really does work and help as I have been through it. It won't happen straight away, it takes time to learn and retrain your mind but its worth it

[Tui2]

Most people (meaning blokes) dont want to talk about 'IT', especially emotional matters concerning mental health, i suffered and continue to fight with, as a child ADHD evolving into Adult ADHD and final diagnosis Borderline Personality Disorder. The oddest thing about my disorder is that i can council but very rarely can i take heed of my own advice. Anyone that needs a Faceless Friend to talk 'shop', are quite welcome to email me.

[Madaya]

After having a good stint doing house sitting, I find myself living back with the folks. Some might think its a good thing, but it is stressful watching old age creep up, being forgetful, eating the wrong stuff, not sleeping well - and that's just me.
But seriously, the scenario is pretty tough. I figure I'm a glass half full guy, my folks glass is pretty much empty and I here the same old stuff everyday.
I help out where I can, in fact if I wasn't around they would be in a bad way. Health issues, neither can drive. I've spent more time in hospitals and doctors in the last 3 months than I have in my entire adult life.
Ah well. Another doctors appointment this afternoon.

[mechanic]

Exercise is my solution to this problem.
I'm 66, tried GP's, Psych's, medication, medication + alcohol, hypnotists etc etc.
I now do 30 - 40 mins of weights/day [ or as often as I can ] then bike for about an hour to an hour and a half.

Tried fishing, boating, shooting and for me it comes back to lifting some weights and doing some cardio to make a difference.
Really do have to put that time aside for yourself regardless of whatever is going on.
Just my 2c

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by Madaya

After having a good stint doing house sitting, I find myself living back with the folks. Some might think its a good thing, but it is stressful watching old age creep up, being forgetful, eating the wrong stuff, not sleeping well - and that's just me.
But seriously, the scenario is pretty tough. I figure I'm a glass half full guy, my folks glass is pretty much empty and I here the same old stuff everyday.
I help out where I can, in fact if I wasn't around they would be in a bad way. Health issues, neither can drive. I've spent more time in hospitals and doctors in the last 3 months than I have in my entire adult life.
Ah well. Another doctors appointment this afternoon.

After a failed marriage and recent loss of the love of my life, fiancé of 8 years, due to my disorder being too much for some to cope with, i am back hom3 and caring for my parents both in their mid 80s, and believe me I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM, but it also is the only thing i feel I have left in me that is good and righteous, even though they have and once again are, suffering my disorder, i now am suffering their deteriorating livelihoods. Oh and how loud do their TV'S NEED TO BE?!! I coms home and They have one TV each in their bedrooms, plus the lounge room all on the same channel with half a second delay between them! All loud and as one repeats the other. Arghhhhh!

[OzriderXR8]

There is a cliché in the motorcycle world about never seeing a bike parked outside a psychiatrists office.

I ride one every day into the city and there is nothing better to clear the mind.

We all have moments of anxiety when we have those oh sh$t moments, or when things just don't seem to be getting anywhere. The advise I've been given from friends who have lived it is basically 'If you can't shake it off, talk to someone, a mate, a stranger, a professional. Doesn't matter who, just talk to someone.'

It's amazing to me that many of the issues that I have thought over the years were unique to me and everyone else wouldn't understand are generally so common it's almost laughable.

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by OzriderXR8

There is a cliché in the motorcycle world about never seeing a bike parked outside a psychiatrists office.

I ride one every day into the city and there is nothing better to clear the mind.

We all have moments of anxiety when we have those oh sh$t moments, or when things just don't seem to be getting anywhere. The advise I've been given from friends who have lived it is basically 'If you can't shake it off, talk to someone, a mate, a stranger, a professional. Doesn't matter who, just talk to someone.'

It's amazing to me that many of the issues that I have thought over the years were unique to me and everyone else wouldn't understand are generally so common it's almost laughable.

personally can't see how I would contemplate a laugh towards depression, some anxieties can seem laughable and some too contrived to be real, but when a certain part of the brain is damaged (especially by abuse in all its variables) there is no way of knowing what, who, why, when or how/if someone is going to better themselves with any or all the types of therapies, i know this for a fact because i thought i was well too many times for my own liking. Although i attempted checking out twice in the last 20 years i knew i wanted to keep trying to achieve some sort of progress and it came in many ways but never to recovery. Keep talking but its no laughing matter

[Grega]

I ride one every day into the city and there is nothing better to clear the mind.

i think this is whats missing from my life.

....have also been told the same about talking to someone about it. for me, it doesn't help, the burden still remains, i carry it like a ball and chain.

its days like today where i really fail to see the point in carrying on. what the **** for. so over it.

[BLUEYBA]

Originally Posted by Grega

i think this is whats missing from my life.

....have also been told the same about talking to someone about it. for me, it doesn't help, the burden still remains, i carry it like a ball and chain.

its days like today where i really fail to see the point in carrying on. what the **** for. so over it.

You need to learn to release the burden and not hold onto it. By taking to the professionals they will show you ways of letting go and dealing with the burden. They teach you how to recognise things and deal with them before they get out of control

[Tui2]

That's the only reason (not love of/from a family member or fact of responsibility ) i am still here, psychology and especially psychiatry now the nail has finally been hit on the head when it came to the correct medication and acceptance of who i am and how to cope with accepting that it might not get much better than this but know in yourself that you are trying to do your best and talking to others (like a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Group) does help if ya can just get ya arz...back side there. Anyway enough talk about talk, just get out there and talk

[SYZ]

Hi fellas...

I've just noticed this thread, and thought I'd let you know of my situation re depression etc. I was first diagnosed around 17 years ago—largely as a result of unrealistic/unfair workplace conditions—with clinical depression, generalised anxiety disorder, and hyper-vigilance.

The hyper-vigilance manifests itself in several ways; for example, if I hear a car door slam outside, I must check it out; if I hear voices in the street at night, again I have to check it out; if the neighbours are having a BBQ I'm constantly monitoring the sound levels of their (quite acceptable) music; I can't relax on New Year's eve waiting for the inevitable fireworks to go off; etc. I also have an annoyingly overactive startle response to perceived sudden or threatening stimuli.

These conditions are now superficially controlled with medication—Lexapro and Xanax—but over that period I've succumbed to a condition known as Non-24 Hour Sleep Wake Syndrome.

Over time, this N-24 syndrome had the effect of making me virtually unemployable, as my sleep cycle is pushed back by around 4 hours every day, giving me a rolling circadian cycle period of approximately 28 hours.

Now that I'm retired, this doesn't affect me from an employment perspective, but it sure plays merry hell with my social life—or what's left of it. If someone phones me (Tuesday) and invites me to a BBQ next Saturday, I have to say maybe yes, maybe no; I'll have to let you know Friday night... sorry. Recently for example, I had to miss two of my nephews' weddings.

My main ongoing issue right now is a total, unconditional lack of personal motivation. Making my bed is an effort; having a shower is hard work; mowing the lawn is impossible; visiting the library takes advance planning; driving from south Gippsland to visit family in Melbourne or Wodonga never happens; etc etc etc.

I've found psychiatrists—all 4 of 'em—useless as an ashtray on a Harley. Psychologists only marginally more helpful, which is really damning with faint praise. I haven't wasted any more time seeing head doctors for a couple of years now, and my GP is more than happy to monitor and prescribe my meds.

I've undergone a clinical sleep study with no negative results, other than getting virtually nil REM sleep phase (lower gamma activity). This is a known precursor for depression. I'm typing this at around 2AM, having got out of bed at 6PM last night. I'll probably head off to bed around 10AM today... or midday... or 2PM... or?

I can, and do, totally empathise with the other blokes who've told us their stories here, and I appreciate reading them, as it confirms "we" are ultimately not alone.

—And my apologies if I've been a bit long-winded!

[Tui2]

Welcome to SYZ, to the fordforums nutter thread, where we can be real men haha. I have as you may have read, BPD which is an overlapping disorder and i sympathise with you and the the sleep hours or lack there of, but most of all (as wrong as this sounds) i am so relieved to hear of another 'socially overprotective' (i call it this because of how i justify not going to family bbqs etc, is to save or protect loved ones from, at the least, embarrassment of my actions WHEN something pulls one of my many triggers. I'm reaching my 50th year and suffered from a 5 yo with a screw loose, and if I didn't end up with the responsibility of caring for my elderly parents, and that also now that my son is grown up, i not so sure I'd be here, simply due to enough is enough, it drags out eh? Anyway I'm here for a chat anytime and i mean try anytime. PM or eail through the site in need.

[superyob]

Thanks for that 1Tuffute...

[superyob]

Trejo and Syz, you sound like you have a nasty affliction. How did it start?

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by superyob

Trejo and Syz, you sound like you have a nasty affliction. How did it start?

I suffered abuse as a ADHD child which no one heard of .. of course and turned into BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER, a title now proven incorrect but can't seemed to be retitled by the 'EXPERTS'. Very overlapping disorder into bipolar, psychopathy, AdultADHD, and i suffer Psychosis if i stray off the Godly path, which, touch wood, i haven't for quite a while since my new psychiatrist and his med trials have been a long awaited step forward but it will always be a lonely one, 1 marriage and an 8year engagement destoyed because of, and unless the next lady i meet is an actual angel,well. Actually if she was THAT good of a person to look beyond my disorder and chose to fight it with me, i think after nead 50years i can honestly say that i would not put them through it.

[Tui2]

Please read if you would like a glimpse into my world, our world of BPD

[1TUFFUTE]

I havnt read that particular book ^^^^, but being a bit of a psychology student/nut....BPD comes up quite often in the stuff I read! In my eyes it's horrendous what it does to an individual, as it can't simply be quick fixed by drugs,(they can help). But it's a far more complex 'disorder' that demands support and understanding from any people involved, esspescialy family! My heart goes out to anyone who has to deal with this types of rubbish, it truely does!!!

[Tui2]

Originally Posted by 1TUFFUTE

I havnt read that particular book ^^^^, but being a bit of a psychology student/nut....BPD comes up quite often in the stuff I read! In my eyes it's horrendous what it does to an individual, as it can't simply be quick fixed by drugs,(they can help). But it's a far more complex 'disorder' that demands support and understanding from any people involved, esspescialy family! My heart goes out to anyone who has to deal with this types of rubbish, it truely does!!!

Thanks man, means a lot to hear that... cause no one really understands it and when you be honest and explain it, usually won't see them again or they keep their distance.
The last 8years i was with my early 20s love of my life.. after 20years apart.. thought i was set and had support...no ,,, her family got scared for our grandkids and now I've lost them all, not even a text anymore, but heart is pretty cold and moves on quick (psychopathology) but my mind (BPD) wants to go over it again n again blaming, hating, plotting ..then understanding, pitying and apologising to not giving a flying fox about any one till its hearts turn to have a go at fooling my brain that we can do it this time, Huh! I fart in your general direction you english ka-nig-het, with my OUTRAAAGEOUS accent.
See what i mean

[SYZ]

Originally Posted by superyob

Trejo and Syz, you sound like you have a nasty affliction. How did it start?

Mine first started with ongoing workplace "harassments" that weren't—20 years ago—officially classified as harassment by the governmental agencies. I don't really wanna detail them (for obvious reasons) other than to say I couldn't get any help or ongoing support from the company themselves, and which basically forced me out of the job. My mild (and previously easily controllable) depression was exacerbated by this, and over a period of few years progressed into anxiety, hypervigilance, and N-24 sleep pattern—despite intervention from several psychiatrists and psychologists.