Need help. im proposing!

Paddyboy · 10-06-2009, 11:36 AM

Hey guys and girls,
Im proposing to my girl on friday night and i'm asking her Dad tonight for his permission/blessing.
Im freaking out about talking to her Dad! Its not that we dont get along, hes just a very conservative, tough and hard to get along with man. I dont know what i'm going to say and how im going to say it!

Any tips would be awesome!!!
thanks

XR2DOOR · 10-06-2009, 11:42 AM

sorry mate ,your on your own ,good luck

Jason[98.EL] · 10-06-2009, 11:42 AM

Just be yourself that is all i can say dont act any differant thatn what you do ant other time

if he enjoys a beer or a wine maybe take a bottle with you

i was in the same situation when i proposed to my now wife of 9 yrs ( feb 2010 ) it will be 10

it is a hard and very nerve racking thing to do but you will laugh about it after the day

if you get along with him you will be fine

Good luck with it mate

Jason

ANGEL#3 · 10-06-2009, 12:01 PM

Firstly good luck mate.

Conservative, Tough and Hard it's the way Dads do business when it comes to the little girls boy friends.

Don't be afraid just tell him. You might be surprised and respect you for asking first.

Keep us informed of the outcome.

gcg2503 · 10-06-2009, 12:02 PM

Well done for speaking to the old man first

Cant give you any tips though

He will respect you for it and so will the missus (if she agrees to the proposal that is!)

dannyxm · 10-06-2009, 12:05 PM

Just be yourself mate, but take the matter very seriously.

Ill be honest with you, it is a daunting thing to do, but if he is conservative and a bit of a tough old bloke he should appriciate that you asked for his blessing before proposing.

I did the same last year and asked for the now father in laws blessing. It was quite daunting as he is Christian Lebanese, nice bloke but quite srong headed and treats his only daughter as a princess (which is more than understandable)

Post marriage hes a top bloke who i like spending time with, things are good.

Just be yourself mate but always keep in mind that you are asking this bloke for his blessing for his daughter to spend a life with you.

gozza · 10-06-2009, 12:07 PM

Just tell him you love his Daughter and you both want to be together for the rest of your life with their blessings. Myself and my missus expressed our intent to her parents together, but if you popping the question is a surprise that won't work haha.

**Bluepower** · 10-06-2009, 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paddyboy

Hey guys and girls,
Im proposing to my girl on friday night and i'm asking her Dad tonight for his permission/blessing.
Im freaking out about talking to her Dad! Its not that we dont get along, hes just a very conservative, tough and hard to get along with man. I dont know what i'm going to say and how im going to say it!

Any tips would be awesome!!!
thanks

Just tell him that you think his daughter is super hot, and you would like her to cook and clean for you for now and ever more.........

no, dont say that. apart from post 2 (funny post by the way) all the advice here is good advice.

More importantly, if you want to be happy in a marriage, put your girl first.

Good luck mate, ring me if you want some help

Chris

Paddyboy · 10-06-2009, 12:41 PM

wow, thanks guys, this has made me feel a lot more at ease. The thing that makes this the hardest is that my gf is his only child and she certainly is daddy's little girl. I do get along with her dad fairly well. He would have a fair idea that this is coming anyway as we have been together for 3 years and we are in our late 20's. To calm myself down ive written down what I want to say and im a bit more relaxed now. I will definetly let you guys know once its done how it goes. cheers

Mr Hardware · 10-06-2009, 12:57 PM

You'll be right old mate
if you're a good enough bloke to ask her dad, you're good enough for him to say yes to, surely. And he would have said something before now if it was going to be anything other than a yes.
PS marriage is awesome, i'm 11 days off 1 year.
when i asked my wife's parents, they laughed and said 'its about time!' ps i was only 22!

SB076 · 10-06-2009, 01:24 PM

I asked my parents in law it didnt go as planned worked out when they would be home so drove over there - feeling nervous. Anyway they answer the door and invited me in and there was my future sister in law with her hubby - so I am thinking great now what do I do - so then the questions start - why are you here? etc do dodged the first few times but then my sister in law and her hubby worked out what I was doing so then the jokes started about dowry etc. Finally they left and I could ask the parents for permision but it all went well thankfully - worse part is my sister in laws car has signwriting on it and I didnt even realise it parked in the street.

But as others have said just be yourself and enjoy

Sam_Boss260 · 10-06-2009, 01:34 PM

As has been said, if her father is a "firm but fair" kinda guy, then he will respect you for asking him first.

Just be yourself, and simply state that you think the world of his daughter, love her dearly and would like to ask his permission for her hand in marriage. Simple and straight to the point.

Let us know how it goes too.

b2tf · 10-06-2009, 02:01 PM

I'm lucky, instead of father in law I only have a mother in law to contend with and am due to do it in about 5 months time. Hopefully it will go ok, all I can offer in terms of advice is dont try and bs your way thru it because it will be VERY obvious!

jcxr · 10-06-2009, 02:02 PM

Yes, you do need help, phsyciatric help. DO NOT GET MARRIED. Just go out and buy a house for some chick you hate and give it to her, cause thats how all marriages end up.

BIGJB · 10-06-2009, 02:03 PM

Firstly congrates mate.
But the key is just to be open and honest.
Remember you are asking for his blessing not his permission.
I am sure that he will be stoked that you had the decency to ask him first.
I know my father inlaw was taken a bit by surprise as we had never met,
never even spoken on the phone and lived in different countries.
But he was just happy as mustard that I asked him before I asked my wife.
Hope all goes well bloke as I am sure it will.

homegrown · 10-06-2009, 02:11 PM

Awesome. Definately ask. Its about Respect. I didn't ask till the night I proposed because I didn't trust her mum accidentally saying something she shouldn't. Not that she would but they get so excited didn't want to chance it.
Also take it easy it t work. My mind was else where the entire day almost injured myself on several occasions because I was too busy planning the night in my head.
Goodluck.

Paddyboy · 10-06-2009, 02:19 PM

good advice homegrown, ive been in and out of meetings all day and people keep asking me if im alright as I look like im off with the fairies. haha.
So the checklist so far is:
Be myself
No BS
Dont tell the dad that I plan to keep her locked up in the kitchen
tell him I think the world of his daughter.

alright i set then. Im dropping over at 5:30 tonight. The problem is that her parents invited me and my gf over for dinner tomorrow night, so if I ask tonight which I really want to do, then they may not be able to keep a straight face tomorrow night at dinner. oh well

Mr Hardware · 10-06-2009, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Remember you are asking for his blessing not his permission.
I am sure that he will be stoked that you had the decency to ask him first.

Quoted For Truth.

ZC001 · 10-06-2009, 02:31 PM

I went to my girlfriend's parents house to ask her father's blessing to propose. I thought he knew why I was there, but I was quite nervous and we were making small talk until I felt at ease enough to raise the topic. Future father-in-law gets a call on his mobile and says he has been called in to work and leaves. I'm left there chatting to the future mother-in-law. She starts flirting with me and trying to seduce me. She was quite fit for her age and reminded me of my girlfriend. Eventually she says she is going to the bedroom, I can do what I want. I thought about it for a while, then grabbed my car keys and went out to the car. My future father-in-law was waiting beside my car. He said "I'm glad you made the right decision. My only daughter is very special to me. I wasn't sure if you could be trusted". That broke the ice and since then my father-in-law has been a great bloke. One day I will have to tell him I only went out to the car to get some condoms.

The Yeti · 10-06-2009, 02:44 PM

Ive done it but I have no real advice for you just talk to him like a normal bloke and not like a bloke that your about to steel a daughter off and it should be fine, it all depends on the future father in law but as tuff as it is I think you'll get brownie points for seeking his blessing.

Mine is a cop and this was in the good old days where they all took there guns home, silly me decided to be there waiting when he got home becoasue no one else would be there, we start chatting (he had a hunch where it was heading) so he pulls out his gun ant starts cleaning it, all for theatrics but I dam near shat my pants

Stefan · 10-06-2009, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZC001

I went to my girlfriend's parents house to ask her father's blessing to propose. I thought he knew why I was there, but I was quite nervous and we were making small talk until I felt at ease enough to raise the topic. Future father-in-law gets a call on his mobile and says he has been called in to work and leaves. I'm left there chatting to the future mother-in-law. She starts flirting with me and trying to seduce me. She was quite fit for her age and reminded me of my girlfriend. Eventually she says she is going to the bedroom, I can do what I want. I thought about it for a while, then grabbed my car keys and went out to the car. My future father-in-law was waiting beside my car. He said "I'm glad you made the right decision. My only daughter is very special to me. I wasn't sure if you could be trusted". That broke the ice and since then my father-in-law has been a great bloke. One day I will have to tell him I only went out to the car to get some condoms.

Sam_Boss260 · 10-06-2009, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZC001

I went to my girlfriend's parents house to ask her father's blessing to propose. I thought he knew why I was there, but I was quite nervous and we were making small talk until I felt at ease enough to raise the topic. Future father-in-law gets a call on his mobile and says he has been called in to work and leaves. I'm left there chatting to the future mother-in-law. She starts flirting with me and trying to seduce me. She was quite fit for her age and reminded me of my girlfriend. Eventually she says she is going to the bedroom, I can do what I want. I thought about it for a while, then grabbed my car keys and went out to the car. My future father-in-law was waiting beside my car. He said "I'm glad you made the right decision. My only daughter is very special to me. I wasn't sure if you could be trusted". That broke the ice and since then my father-in-law has been a great bloke. One day I will have to tell him I only went out to the car to get some condoms.

Gold !! Gold !! Gold !!!

Will have to try this one as I have 2 daughters!

Bmobile · 10-06-2009, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZC001

I went to my girlfriend's parents house to ask her father's blessing to propose. I thought he knew why I was there, but I was quite nervous and we were making small talk until I felt at ease enough to raise the topic. Future father-in-law gets a call on his mobile and says he has been called in to work and leaves. I'm left there chatting to the future mother-in-law. She starts flirting with me and trying to seduce me. She was quite fit for her age and reminded me of my girlfriend. Eventually she says she is going to the bedroom, I can do what I want. I thought about it for a while, then grabbed my car keys and went out to the car. My future father-in-law was waiting beside my car. He said "I'm glad you made the right decision. My only daughter is very special to me. I wasn't sure if you could be trusted". That broke the ice and since then my father-in-law has been a great bloke. One day I will have to tell him I only went out to the car to get some condoms.

Pure Gold

GUTLES · 10-06-2009, 03:31 PM

Does everyone still ask there future Father in Law for there blessing? I didn't, although we we're together for 6 years before I proposed & had a 2 year old. I've always gotten along really well with my inlaws & there pretty laid back, probably the reason why I didn't do it the correct way so to speak.

Rodp · 10-06-2009, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paddyboy

Hey guys and girls,
Im proposing to my girl on friday night and i'm asking her Dad tonight for his permission/blessing.
Im freaking out about talking to her Dad! Its not that we dont get along, hes just a very conservative, tough and hard to get along with man. I dont know what i'm going to say and how im going to say it!

Any tips would be awesome!!!
thanks

I went through the whole ask the father for permission schtick back when I was stupid enough to propose 10+ years ago (but never made it to the altar) and never really saw the reason or value in it. No tips really, just bite the bullet and lay your cards on the table.

So what's your plan if he says no?

BAxtER · 10-06-2009, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZC001

I went to my girlfriend's parents house to ask her father's blessing to propose. I thought he knew why I was there, but I was quite nervous and we were making small talk until I felt at ease enough to raise the topic. Future father-in-law gets a call on his mobile and says he has been called in to work and leaves. I'm left there chatting to the future mother-in-law. She starts flirting with me and trying to seduce me. She was quite fit for her age and reminded me of my girlfriend. Eventually she says she is going to the bedroom, I can do what I want. I thought about it for a while, then grabbed my car keys and went out to the car. My future father-in-law was waiting beside my car. He said "I'm glad you made the right decision. My only daughter is very special to me. I wasn't sure if you could be trusted". That broke the ice and since then my father-in-law has been a great bloke. One day I will have to tell him I only went out to the car to get some condoms.

LOL, that is GOLD!

Paddyboy · 10-06-2009, 04:57 PM

If he says no then theres obviously something that doesnt sit right with him and I will try to sort it out with him, thats if there is an issue. If he says no just coz he doesnt like me then I will respectfully say that he's daughter is happy with me and he should be happy for us,if not he will lose his daughter. thats the truth

gtfpv · 10-06-2009, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paddyboy

Hey guys and girls,
Im proposing to my girl on friday night and i'm asking her Dad tonight for his permission/blessing.
Im freaking out about talking to her Dad! Its not that we dont get along, hes just a very conservative, tough and hard to get along with man. I dont know what i'm going to say and how im going to say it!

Any tips would be awesome!!!
thanks

look , it depends on your age , and your girlfriends . if you ask, your giving him an oportunity to tell you things you may not know . ( which can be a good thing ) or a bad thing . dont expect a pat on the back.

if you are head strong and sure , then just ask her . however the consequences of this is you may miss out on good or bad advice .
when i asked my wife , i did not seek permission 1st . as back then no one could've advised me .but if you are the type that learns and seeks then asking may be wise /or unwise .
think about your reality.

gtfpv · 10-06-2009, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZC001

I went to my girlfriend's parents house to ask her father's blessing to propose. I thought he knew why I was there, but I was quite nervous and we were making small talk until I felt at ease enough to raise the topic. Future father-in-law gets a call on his mobile and says he has been called in to work and leaves. I'm left there chatting to the future mother-in-law. She starts flirting with me and trying to seduce me. She was quite fit for her age and reminded me of my girlfriend. Eventually she says she is going to the bedroom, I can do what I want. I thought about it for a while, then grabbed my car keys and went out to the car. My future father-in-law was waiting beside my car. He said "I'm glad you made the right decision. My only daughter is very special to me. I wasn't sure if you could be trusted". That broke the ice and since then my father-in-law has been a great bloke. One day I will have to tell him I only went out to the car to get some condoms.

hahahahahahahahaha that is so funny , i laughed so hard . hahahaha

**redxm** · 10-06-2009, 05:24 PM

I asked my father in law for permission. went like this. I pulled the ring out my pocket, showed it to him and said "do you want to be related to me"