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17-06-2008, 10:55 AM
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1-2-3-(er)5?
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: QLD
Posts: 94
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WHAT JOKES DO YOU KNOW?
Hi everyone, Just thought I'd start this thread for some light comedy relief  Q. What 2 planets do politicians come from? A. Saturn Uranus (excerpt from "How to perform Brain Surgery on a Holden Driver") Step 1: "Make sure buttocks are not obscured....."
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DYSLEXICS OF THE WORLD UNTIE! SERIOUS FUN * 2003 BA Mk I XT 4.0L Auto Wagon * 1986 XF GL 4.0L Auto Wagon |
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17-06-2008, 11:27 AM
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Tribal Elder
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Yarrambat
Posts: 2,278
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I know "Sourbarsted" lol
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17-06-2008, 11:54 AM
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Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Adelaide SA
Posts: 5,584
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Quote:
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1965 XP Falcon Deluxe Sedan 1978 XC Falcon Wagon Rallypack 2003 BA Fairlane G220 Windsor Powah!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7hT9dxD2hM |
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17-06-2008, 02:27 PM
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Donating Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 4,519
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Oooh baby living in Miami....
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17-06-2008, 02:27 PM
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Donating Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 4,519
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Two baby seals walked into a club......
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Oooh baby living in Miami....
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18-10-2008, 11:38 AM
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Lyminge, Shepway, Kent
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Geelong - Go Cats
Posts: 3,197
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Canadian Club on the rocks |
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28-10-2008, 12:02 AM
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Regular Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 203
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Quote:
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17-06-2008, 11:32 AM
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Life's a Gas
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Sydney
Posts: 2,029
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I know Belinda Neal.
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17-06-2008, 11:32 AM
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FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 575
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Q: What do you call a black guy flying a plane?
A: The pilot you racist |
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17-06-2008, 11:46 AM
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Life's a Gas
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Sydney
Posts: 2,029
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Deleted.
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17-06-2008, 11:49 AM
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Back where I belong
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Mexico - Victoria
Posts: 947
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Why did Billy fall off his bike
Cause someone threw a fridge at him.
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Regards Craig |
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02-10-2009, 03:07 PM
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WAGONE
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 426
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Two mates are on the roof of a building one of them says "watch this".... he throws a brick off the roof and yells "FALLING BRICK".... the brick smashes on the gound.
He hands a brick to his mate who has a chronic stutter, he then throws the brick off and yells "F.......F......F.....F....F..u.c.k........... i hit him! |
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17-06-2008, 11:54 AM
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Cane Farmer
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Tom Price, WA
Posts: 4,056
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Two irish women are knitting jumpers for their babies that are yet to be born.
One turns to the other and says: I hope my baby is a boy, because I used blue wool. The other one replies: Well, I hope mine is a retard cause I stuffed up the sleeves.
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1994 ED XR6T - Cobalt Blue. 2009 FG XR6 - Black. Quote:
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17-06-2008, 12:59 PM
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GRRRR.....
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 1,158
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What do you do if you see a spaceman?
Park the car man....
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Now - 2007Renault Megane sedan, Steel Gray, 19" Koya Ambush with 235/35R19 Yokohama ADVAN V103, Eibach Pro-Kit. Gone but not forgotton - Diamond White 2004 LX Fiesta If you sneeze with your eyes open, do your eyes pop out??
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17-06-2008, 07:30 PM
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FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Shittarton
Posts: 1,217
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How does it change many dyslexics to take a light-bulb?
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17-06-2008, 07:40 PM
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FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Shittarton
Posts: 1,217
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A woman goes into her local music store looking for an old record; behind the counter is small young boy.
She says: "Excuse me sonny, but do you have Jingle Bells on a 7 inch?" He says: "No, but I've got dangling balls on a 9 inch." "That's not a record is it?" "It is for a 10 year old." http://www.sickipedia.org/index.php |
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17-06-2008, 07:45 PM
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Formerly XG-Panelvanman
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Im in Cranbourne,VIC.
Posts: 476
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in stiches and its only the first page but im curious to see how long this lasts... do the mods have the same sense of humor
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My Ride: BA MK2 Wagon, dedicated LPG, white. modifications: cargo barriers, tow bar |
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18-06-2008, 12:04 AM
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Well hello Mr Fancypants
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Perth
Posts: 1,066
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Quote:
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1965 Ford Anglia 1980 Ford Escort RS2000 2006 Mazda SP23 2012 Ford Focus ST |
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17-06-2008, 07:49 PM
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FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,033
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I once threw my input into a similar joke thrad, my post lasted about 5 min.
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17-06-2008, 08:02 PM
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GRRRR.....
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 1,158
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:evil3: :monkes:
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Now - 2007Renault Megane sedan, Steel Gray, 19" Koya Ambush with 235/35R19 Yokohama ADVAN V103, Eibach Pro-Kit. Gone but not forgotton - Diamond White 2004 LX Fiesta If you sneeze with your eyes open, do your eyes pop out??
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17-06-2008, 08:06 PM
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Peter Car
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: geelong
Posts: 23,145
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Holdens go better.
Thats a hilarious joke. |
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17-06-2008, 08:05 PM
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Smells like burnt rubber
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 76
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Whats brown and sticky?
A stick
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Loud Pipes save Lives |
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17-06-2008, 08:08 PM
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Smells like burnt rubber
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 76
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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says, whats with the long face?
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Loud Pipes save Lives |
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17-06-2008, 08:10 PM
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Smells like burnt rubber
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 76
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A bloke walks into the butchers and says, you got a sheeps head, the butcher says, no mate, its just the way i part my hair
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Loud Pipes save Lives |
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17-06-2008, 08:13 PM
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GT
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: SYDNEY
Posts: 9,205
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this is a humourous true story. it happened to my brother .
he went and got a security licence in the hope of a career change . anyhow at the 1st security job interview , he was in a waiting room , with about 20 other hopefuls waiting for an interview . a WOMAN walks in and walks up to the receptionist saying she's here for the security job. the woman behind the reception desk , says she'll have to wait her turn and there are a few in front of her . i dont have time for that she says . heres my number, tell him i'll suck his c#%$k. , and then she walked out . all the men looked at each other in the waiting room , and atleast 1/2 of them walked out of the room and left. i laughed my head off when he told me this . |
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17-06-2008, 08:22 PM
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FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 2,602
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Quote:
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Quote:
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17-06-2008, 08:22 PM
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Getahaircutandgetarealjob
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Newcastle area, NSW
Posts: 123
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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walked into a bar.
You'd think one of them wold have seen it and ducked.
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Te pilos recidene volo et opus solidus capere  :
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17-06-2008, 09:28 PM
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#28 | ||
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Mr old phart
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Northern Terrorist
Posts: 1,715
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An elephant walks into a bar.
The barman says "Geez, I thought the horse had a long face." An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman say "Is this supposed to be some kind of joke?" How many kids with ADD does it take to change a light bulb? Let's set fire to something!
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An object at rest cannot be stopped!! BA GT-P Blueprint |
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17-06-2008, 09:54 PM
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#29 | ||
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1-2-3-(er)5?
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: QLD
Posts: 94
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1ST SKIER ASKS OTHER SKIER, BACK IN THE CABIN: "Mate, I'm dyslexic, how do you know when to zig ,and when to zag?"
OTHER SKIER: "I don't know, I'm a tobogganist!" 1ST SKIER: "Oh....OK....What luck!, I''l have a packet of Marlboro and a box of matches!" Blonde walks into library: "I'll have a hamburger and fries, please" Assistant (Whispers): "This is a library" Blonde (Whispers): "Sorry, I'll have a hamburger and fries, please"
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DYSLEXICS OF THE WORLD UNTIE! SERIOUS FUN * 2003 BA Mk I XT 4.0L Auto Wagon * 1986 XF GL 4.0L Auto Wagon Last edited by guitarman; 17-06-2008 at 10:02 PM. |
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17-06-2008, 10:28 PM
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#30 | ||
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1-2-3-(er)5?
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: QLD
Posts: 94
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IMPO'TANT MESSAGE: (has to be spoken in southern US of A accent!)
Dr to Ranch Master: "Colonel, I've checked all your slaves, and they're all fine, except for Rastus - He's impotent!" (Ranch Master calls Rastus in) "Rastus, I've called you in here because you're impotent!" (Rastus races out, then comes back 5 mins later, dressed in a 3-piece suit) Ranch Master: "What on earth are you doing?" Rastus: "Well, Boss, if you think I am impo'tant, I might as well look impo'tant".
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DYSLEXICS OF THE WORLD UNTIE! SERIOUS FUN * 2003 BA Mk I XT 4.0L Auto Wagon * 1986 XF GL 4.0L Auto Wagon |
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What jokes do you know?
Hybrid Mode