How do you handle a break up?

[Bucket]

Originally Posted by wodahs

im in perth an up for drinks so if ya want ill do the same as rayman :baby bott

Sounds good, PM me and we can arrange something yea?

[wodahs]

sent a pm n tippys bar in redcliff is al ways a good pub

[qwigybo]

go buy a new car... thats what i did got dumped went and brought a brand new car 2 days later

[qwigybo]

Originally Posted by Bucket

Well, after speaking to her on the phone for an hour, i know where i stand.
We had a very deep hear to heart. We're going to take a break for the next 6 months, neither of us are going to see anyone, just have some time for ourselves to reflect and then we'll come back at the end of the year and see how things are.
Theres been plenty of great advice given on this post, I thank each and everyone of you for your input. It really means a lot to me.

sorry but don't buying into that crap i was told the same thing by my ex turns out the night before she had already done the deed with another guy and continued to do it for the next 3 months, the whole time she denied she was doing anything and when i found out i was "annoyed" only because he was 12yrs older than her and that he was married thats where i drew the line and haven't spoken to or heard from her since

[Outbackjack]

Originally Posted by qwigybo

sorry but don't buying into that crap i was told the same thing by my ex turns out the night before she had already done the deed with another guy and continued to do it for the next 3 months, the whole time she denied she was doing anything and when i found out i was "annoyed" only because he was 12yrs older than her and that he was married thats where i drew the line and haven't spoken to or heard from her since

This seems to be a recurring theme. There sure are lots of women out there that use this time out crap excuse. Why cant they just be honest???

[Bucket]

Originally Posted by Outbackjack

This seems to be a recurring theme. There sure are lots of women out there that use this time out crap excuse. Why cant they just be honest???

That would be to easy

[Dodge]

i know where ur at and i wouldnt sit around for 6 mths being loyal and expecting things to get back the way they were, once u have both had time to think, act and do the things u did b4 u met then you will both be different people, i would take this as a non voilent split and move upwards and onwards, if u get back in 6mths then the ugly green monster will be very busy inside of u wondering what if, did she and when will she do it again,,,, get my drift. Love is pure and simple. u have it or u dont, if u do then good but once its gone it never comes back the way it was the first time
what do i know? i just lost my wife and 2 kids last month , that feeling will never go away.

[MO]

Originally Posted by Dodge

i know where ur at and i wouldnt sit around for 6 mths being loyal and expecting things to get back the way they were, once u have both had time to think, act and do the things u did b4 u met then you will both be different people, i would take this as a non voilent split and move upwards and onwards, if u get back in 6mths then the ugly green monster will be very busy inside of u wondering what if, did she and when will she do it again,,,, get my drift. Love is pure and simple. u have it or u dont, if u do then good but once its gone it never comes back the way it was the first time
what do i know? i just lost my wife and 2 kids last month , that feeling will never go away.

Feel for you Dodge...been there done that myself.....hope everything works out with your kids and you.

[Dodge]

i want X girl naked pics if it doesnt work out mate ...LOL

[Outbackjack]

Originally Posted by Dodge

i just lost my wife and 2 kids last month , that feeling will never go away.

Sorry to hear this dodge. I too have been through exactly that.... It is early days yet. The feeling will dull, but you are right it will NEVER go away.

[FGX-351]

Originally Posted by gtfpv

MATE . get the hint , she has already made up her mind and is most likely out having fun. get real mate and listen to reality . listen to others they have been through it and are telling it like it is. forget her . wish her well and mean it it is the best thing you can do . if you love her you want her to be happy . you go and be happy.

best one ive read so far, take the time to read and think about the above comment it will put things into perspective

[MaxinBlack]

Permit a female perspective - I agree with gtfpv and your fellow lads don't kid yourself that she'll be having a 6 month drought - get back out there, get busy and go on a holiday. Count urself lucky it happened now and not later on down the track.
Hope you had a blast on the weekend and plenty of beverages.

[chich]

Sorry to hear about the breakup dude however i personally think you should take a look at the situation from a different prospective - it could've been much worse. You could've been engaged to her, you could've been married to her and you could've even had kids with her. The reality of the situation is that you've invested 1 and a bit years in a relationship that failed. I've got two mates that were with girls for 5.5 years and it all fell to the s***. All the ground work was done in both cases - meeting parents, parents meeting parents, families meeting families (being greek this is very important!) - they were in so DEEP that all that was left was a ring and a ceremony and it still fell apart.

Originally Posted by Bucket

Thanks for all the Advice everyone. I know i have to move on, but its been one day...we're still talking..im just not ready to let go...not just yet...i just need some answers and ill know which way to move on...and how to feel..even then, it will take me a while to move on

You clearly say above that you know you need to move on - so you should look at how you're going to do it. You're not going to get over it if you speak to her everyday therefore you need to set a deadline. E.g. in a months time i don't want to be speaking to her.

Originally Posted by Bucket

I dont want to find someone to fill the void, and sex is just a bandaid on a leaking tyre. I'm going to try and think this weekend.

.. the bandaid might not fix a leaking tyre but at least it can get you to a servo to fix it. Go out and enjoy your freedom while it lasts. You're young and single - go enjoy whats out there instead of flogging a dead horse and making yourself miserable!

[Tee]

its hard to overcome a split from some1 u love but best thing is to be with mates, keep yerself busy an keep that chin up...god ave been dumped soo meny times an i know how u feel.

Go out, party, get laid an go places

[NXT51]

Originally Posted by Outbackjack

Usually when a woman says she needs time out for some soul searching, it means "I have met someone else and want some time to persue this new relationship" She wants you to stay on stand by while she has time to compare..... Just walk away. If she is not in it 100% by now, she never will be. Most woman are not worth the effort guys put in.
Drink some cold beer, and think how lucky you really are!!

Just my 2c cents, based on 30 odd years of trying to work out women.

Geez harsh! Don't know if you can judge every situation by the 'usually when' scenario.

You really need to talk to her and find out why. If you think she's the one for you and you know each other really well, then you should both be able to talk about it openly.

It's true that she might need some time - maybe she's trying to make some decisions and she doesn't want to change her future with you in mind, because you might not be a sure bet...

When I was 17 I told a guy (23) that I needed some space and that I did want to go out with him again AND (shock horror) I meant it. I was finishing up high school and there was some going on and I felt a bit hemmed in...

He went off and started going out with his friend 1 month later, then they were engaged 3 mths after that - now have 2 kids, mortgage etc. etc. He made his choice. I know he's not extremely happy but for his sake I really hope that on the whole he is. I'm not saying him and I would have been together forever, but at the time, I did believe I needed space but I wanted to get back with him...

So that's just my 2c now

[NXT51]

Oh and quit bagging the women - men do a whole lot of bad stuff too... Think of this situation as 2 partners trying to sort stuff out, and we're trying to help out partner A - not 'women are blah blah blah'

Hey I'm up to 4c = cool :P :P

heard this twice before, both times, "she" had some one else... but I guess its possible. just statistically not probable..

I'll just say I hope she was honest, nothing impresses me more than honesty, likewise dishonesty has a real negative impact on me. not only do you lose the "LUB", but also the respect for the other person...

ps... not sure this is a "woman" bagging convo, seems most guys just telling it from their perspective, but its good to hear the females have a say too.. ;)

wanted: honest female, apply within.

[bwhinnen]

Originally Posted by Outbackjack

I'll PM ya. I will probably get into trouble if I decode here.

:

You aren't ex Forces are you by any chance? I haven't heard the term LBFM used for a while

Bucket, good to hear about the phone call and that you've worked out an agreement, I really hope it works out for the best for you both!

Brett

[Outbackjack]

Originally Posted by bwhinnen

You aren't ex Forces are you by any chance? I haven't heard the term LBFM used for a while

Bucket, good to hear about the phone call and that you've worked out an agreement, I really hope it works out for the best for you both!

Brett

I am not X forces, but I work with lots of guys that are. Both Aussie and US. Its a universal language.... :

[Bucket]

Originally Posted by Outbackjack

I am not X forces, but I work with lots of guys that are. Both Aussie and US. Its a universal language.... :

Ahhh...the Armed Forces...what wonderful use they make of the English Lanquage hehehe :

[Bucket]

Well, we've had annother conversation- its over. For the moment anyway..neither of us are ready for other people yet either..she just wanted to be single again...probably felt like i was an anchor or something. Anyway- i told her im not going to talk to her for a while, just to help me move on...i gave a lot for her and it's going to take some time for me to be able to get over her.
Thanks again for all your advice...i know each of you have had your own experience but im glad this didnt end bitterly. We will stay in touch.

Now its time for some :baby bott :sm_headba hehe

[brenx]

That's why she's telling you :( I've been told that story before. In my experience the relationship is dead and your ex Mrs will find someone else if she hasn't already.

I've just about heard them all when it comes to break up. I've used quite a few myself too in my younger years. I just got bored and needed something more exciting.

Some irony? You always think what would have it been like if I had of stayed with that person. What would it have been like if I were older etc etc. An example : One of my first real girl friends (she was very committed to me). My parents allowed her to move into our home. I was 18 and she was 16! I dumped her as I couldn't stand her telling my mum about our bedroom activity. My mums quite open it's embarrasing! She wouldn't move out and my parents didn't want her to go. She really was a keeper but being young Now I think about it she was the only one that respected me for who I was/am. Others tried to mould me into something I'm not (inc my wife). Yes I'm married have been for around 9 years. My wife and I have been together for around 12 years.

Don't dewell on it and move on.

[pennybrain]

I'm glad it wasn't a bitter break up for you and you could talk sensibly about it. Lots of people can't even talk to their x's after a break up without getting seriously angry and absolutely hating each other!

[Bucket]

Originally Posted by brenx

That's why she's telling you :( I've been told that story before. In my experience the relationship is dead and your ex Mrs will find someone else if she hasn't already.

I really dont want to think about that mate..i dont want to be bitter at her...please dont give me reasons to be...I know you might just be trying to help, but i really cant deal with that now...even if it is true.

[brenx]

Best not dwell on the past and move on.

[Yummy Mummy]

I agree with JM, don't ever take them back. I had a break and got back together, and it was never the same. Cut them loose, grieve, but make sure you don't jump straight into another relationship. Take time to work out who you are, what you want out of life and the type of person you want by your side, and then don't settle for anything less!! The best thing I ever did, I am now streaks ahead of where I used to be, know exactly what I want and where I'm headed, and am besottedly in love with the man of my dreams.

Good luck, it may seem like the world has fallen down on top of you, but it will get better.

All the best
Christine.

[4.9 EF Futura]

Originally Posted by Bucket

I really dont want to think about that mate..i dont want to be bitter at her...please dont give me reasons to be...I know you might just be trying to help, but i really cant deal with that now...even if it is true.

This is a good post dude Sounds like you've got your head on straight.

It sucks to hear what's happened and i sincerely hope you dont get too down about it all. On the same token - make sure you make some time to reflect... this stuff wont deal with itself. Just dont get TOO hung up on it. Life goes on i'm afraid.

I wouldnt recommend it immediately but when you're ready, make sure your buddies take you out for a night on the town - your goals on such a night should be clear Alcohol can be a great thing in times like this - it can also be a really bad idea... im sure you're capable of distinguishing between the two.

And yeah - dont be bitter about anything, it'll do you more of a dis service than her. Even if it was the most unfair break up of all time and she left your heart for dead - dont be bitter (wasted too much time of my own life doing this... thank god for the mate who belted me around the chops and told me to snap out of it!!!).

Lol, ive come to the conclusion that all women are the same (evil, to put it nicely) - but dont let it bother you and dont hold it against them... expect the worst and you'll never be disappointed

(PS ladies - that's not an attack... just an observation!)

[Bucket]

Thanks for that advice Futura, Its been a bit a a journey..

Originally Posted by 4.9 EF Futura

Lol, ive come to the conclusion that all women are the same (evil, to put it nicely) - but dont let it bother you and dont hold it against them... expect the worst and you'll never be disappointed

(PS ladies - that's not an attack... just an observation!)

This is a hard one for me to accept hehe...I like to see the best in people...call me naieve but i dont like to think the worst in people...im an optimist (or maybe just in denial lol) by nature, i like to give everyone a fair chance to prove themselves...including women...i'd like to think the one i fall in love with isnt like that...maybe i'm asking to much?

[4.9 EF Futura]

Originally Posted by Bucket

Thanks for that advice Futura, Its been a bit a a journey..



This is a hard one for me to accept hehe...I like to see the best in people...call me naieve but i dont like to think the worst in people...im an optimist (or maybe just in denial lol) by nature, i like to give everyone a fair chance to prove themselves...including women...i'd like to think the one i fall in love with isnt like that...maybe i'm asking to much?

Haha, yeah that last comment was somewhat in jest.... but there's an element of truth behind every joke. Like I said... it's not something i see as a bad thing, its just inherent to their nature!

The female is the "selector" in our species... no denying that. If power in the physical world is such an efficient way to corrupt someone... imagine what that means at a biological level lol...

[Bucket]

hehe..true...I just dont want an inherently evil girlfriend : lol

Yea, i'd normally be in tune with witt but i guess im not in the right frame of mind to do so at the moment hehe, I'll get there! :