mind numbing, suicide inducing co-workers

drcook · 13-02-2007, 09:54 AM

ok.

i have a workmate.......no, scratch that.
i have a co-worker. to keep his identity a secret we will call him.....ian.

now i have had the 'pleasure' of working in the same office as ian for the last four years and it has to be said i, with some other collegues, are getting a bit tired of him.

tired as in wanting to kill him, or wanting kill ourselves if necessary.

now ian isn't 'outrageously' annoying, like listening to crap music at high volume or getting into fisty fights with anyone, for the most part he stays to himself quietly in the corner of the office, but when you do have to converse with him you just cant block your secret fantasies of smashing his face in with the stapler sitting on his desk.

first of all, he's the boss' pet. or wants to be. the ultimate 'yes-man'. You can actually see the brown smudge on the end of nose from spending so much time up one of the darker crevasses of my boss body. he laughs at things that arent funny or supports any idea of the boss no matter how crazy it might be (and my boss knows this and cant stop laughing about it).

now im at the same level as him in the company, but we control different areas of the business, so we give each other instructions, but everytime i need him to do something he feels the need to tell me every little, tiny, mind numbing detail of how his day is panning out and how thats going to effect the instructions that i just gave him, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH......

i just need a yes or a no. not a sleeping sedative.

he is also the biggest intruder into everyone details. he's been caught reading other peoples emails, checking to see what time people have gone home from work, 'accidentally' overhearing conversations (then telling the boss in intricate detail). i was sick from work once, so my fiance jenny took my car to work. ian saw my car on the way to work, then apon getting to work learnt i was sick, so rang my boss (who was on holidays and didnt care) to inform him i wasnt at work. my boss then rang me to find out the story. (and realised immediately that i was actually sick)

he comes over to chat to me (unfortunately we both like v8 supercars, i love ford, you can guess which opposing manufacturer he supports) and feels the need to start and then continue a conversaton with me even though im not replying to him, not looking at him, speaking to someone else or ringing my work phone from my mobile so i can answer myself and pretend to become involved in an improtant phone call...(deep breath)...to which he just stands there, waiting for my phone call to finish, so he can continue on with his verbal spew.

he shits me.

annoying co-workers. feel free to vent.

EA2BA · 13-02-2007, 10:05 AM

Reading other peoples emails, report him to HR thats why they exist you know, enough reports he will find himself on a final and last warning very quickly.

Oh and just tell him to do something, don't ask then walk away its easier. If he feels like waffling on, just say I have to get this done excuse me, and start doing your work and let him waffle but tune out.

pb02 · 13-02-2007, 10:10 AM

I hear you!!! I have 3 of those where I work.... Unfortunately, for me, I take out my frustrations on my desk and not the 3 co-workers. My keyboard and telephone have had a bit of make shift repair work and the filing cabinet beside me has a few battle scars.

GXL078 · 13-02-2007, 10:36 AM

Bloody Holden supporters, don't they just **** you?

The Yeti · 13-02-2007, 11:58 AM

Dr Cool do you work in my office some where?

We have a tool I call him Teflon becasue I cant seem to get **** to stick. agian we are the same level he's always to busy to help if I need a hand but if the situation turns hes at the boss in 5seconds complaining I am being uncoperative. I'm a morning person so I typicaly get here about 8 he's (the 7am side of most of the time) not so he gets here at 9ish (after if you get my drift) yet he winges that I'm usualy out the door bang on 5, he neglects to mention I usualy end up talking to HO in italy the full dirve home, plus have access to the server fom home, I sware 1 day I will work out how ot modify the electronic stapiler in tio a fully automatic assult staipler and I will take up a position in the clock tower I mean wherehouse mezaneen.

drcook · 13-02-2007, 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Yeti

Dr Cool do you work in my office some where?

We have a tool I call him Teflon becasue I cant seem to get **** to stick. agian we are the same level he's always to busy to help if I need a hand but if the situation turns hes at the boss in 5seconds complaining I am being uncoperative. I'm a morning person so I typicaly get here about 8 he's (the 7am side of most of the time) not so he gets here at 9ish (after if you get my drift) yet he winges that I'm usualy out the door bang on 5, he neglects to mention I usualy end up talking to HO in italy the full dirve home, plus have access to the server fom home, I sware 1 day I will work out how ot modify the electronic stapiler in tio a fully automatic assult staipler and I will take up a position in the clock tower I mean wherehouse mezaneen.

HAHA... that sounds like the guy at my work. passes all his work onto the girls in the main office, then when you go in his office he's there looking through the internet.

robjh80 · 13-02-2007, 01:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xcgxl

Bloody Holden supporters, don't they just **** you?

"Yea.........bet he's a bloody "P Plater" too!! :hihi:

[Tonko] · 13-02-2007, 02:00 PM

Its like this woman at my work, it takes her 4 hours to do a 10 minute job, she talks flat out about crap, gets paid twice as much as me, never helps or finishes her jobs when its her time to leave...
But the worst thing is the boss protects her, i'd had enough and put my case forward to the boss, so the next day as soon as i walked in, they both were waiting for me and the barrage of questions came... talk about put on the spot!
Oh, and it ended up with me nearly getting the sack for not co-operating with my co workers....BTW ive been there 5 years, she is nearly upto her first year....

4.9 EF Futura · 13-02-2007, 02:01 PM

Concern yourself not with the actions of others.

Or else.... insanity awaits

Ringo · 13-02-2007, 03:15 PM

Had a guy who used to work in the same office. He was a bit of a softy, always says he was feeling unwell and complaining etc. If you asked him in passing how he was you got a 3 minute medical assement. Had a habit of taking sick days on friday and mondays too.....you get the drift.

As a bit of a gag a bunch of his co-workers all got together and over the course of the morning said to him "Are you feeling alright? You don't look well"....sure enough by lunchtime he was in the boss's office telling him he wasn't well and was going home to lie down.

the boss was in on the gag and let him go home....we were cacking ourselves.

robs_ls1 · 13-02-2007, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TonkoXR8

But the worst thing is the boss protects her

Have a think about that for a minute.

There's only one reason bosses protect unproductive workers of the opposite sex...

Quote:

Originally Posted by 4.9 EF Futura

Concern yourself not with the actions of others.

Or else.... insanity awaits

Exactly right.

philstoj · 13-02-2007, 03:51 PM

Sounds like brad at the last job i had...

Outbackjack · 13-02-2007, 04:23 PM

Reading other people's emails would get you fired ...... But that is itself should have been the end of him........ How did he get away with it???

bob 351 · 13-02-2007, 04:35 PM

easy fix kill him but whatever you do dont tell anyone you did it blame the boss that way you might get a promotion

cuz · 13-02-2007, 05:15 PM

Listening to you all crap on about these annoying pr**ks at your offices make me so glad that I'm a carpenter. If I worked with someone like any of these people, all I have to do is grab my nail gun and problem solved!

Ringo · 14-02-2007, 08:32 AM

Another of my co workers can lay claim to the following list of characteristics. He was a sort of supervisor / 2IC of a group of workers....

Used to stutter when he lied....dead giveaway...

Sucked up to the boss's and tried to be their mate all the time, then when he was with the rest of us workers used to b-tch about how dumb they were and how they couldn't make a good decision about anything

Thought the business revolved around him and always said he was flat out with work yet he spent 10 minutes an hour out the back smoking

He used to get scared if a new computer screen popped up that he had never seen. He crapped himself when someone sent him that program that flashes up on your screen "you are gay".

Was the worst for forwarding on inappropriate images, jokes etc via email....then would come over and ask you if you got it

Was always trying to get favours out of people and would sell his soul to get anything for free like tickets, promo gear etc and would brag if he managed to get anything.....drink bottle huh?...wow.....a desk clock from a supplier.....that's great......oooo a pen.......your the man!

Thought he was a "ladies man" until a jilted ex called our boss and said he was stealing stuff and that she thought they should know.....

Used to have a little pump spray of some old aftershave and if he let one rip that was lingering he used to spray it in the air once or twice.

:

Talked about his mate that worked at Fosters Brewing who was going to get him a job in Marketing or Events Management.

But this is the best bit......

He drove a SAAB (he bought second hand) and thought he was so superior. He would toot and wave leaving the car park.

It broke down one weekend and he came in and said that RACV were sh_t because they didn't know anything about "european prestige cars".

He was talking to some underlings about his car and I heard him say "parts for them are so expensive aren't they?"

He has since left and now works in insurance. Of course he told everyone he was headhunted because of his track record (WTF?) and that his new employer has a problem area that they want him to clean up.

He had one of the best turnouts for his going away drinks I have ever seen.

This guy makes that TV series "The Office" so real for me its not funny.

Stevo · 14-02-2007, 11:42 AM

Here you go mate, follow this guys actions.

http://www.fugly.com/videos/7039/office-fight.html

gregg_13 · 14-02-2007, 12:12 PM

Work with a young fella here, his old mans a cop so he thinks he's untouchable, Hes the bosses pet. he does, wears, talks however he wants to anyone and nohing, Last friday 2 of the boys wore shirts in with no collars, and snap the boss dragged them over the coals. This kid is an outspoken liberal supporter who thinks Howard is a champuion and deserves a medal. A holden fan and a recist. hates all things non australia, but when sports on he remembers hes italian. ****ER.....

drives us all nuts. On more than one occasion hes pushed it too far and ive had a word to him, in my postion its ok but the other young guys in the office cop alot of flack from him and take it. and the boss well, it wouldnt suprise us if the y were more than friends.

RANT OVER

**GasoLane** · 14-02-2007, 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drcook

annoying co-workers. feel free to vent.

Annoying (or stupid) co-workers? I love them.

They make people like me look good!

cool65 · 14-02-2007, 06:42 PM

And what about the family member brought in to the company. Can't make a go of it in the "real" world so given a job with better pay than other employees. We have 2 of the bosses wives come in to do menial work & get paid over $60k & $60k+ cars to drive. When 2 x 18yo can save the company $200k a year.
Talk about untouchable !!!!!!

Ringo · 15-02-2007, 08:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cool65

And what about the family member brought in to the company. Can't make a go of it in the "real" world so given a job with better pay than other employees. We have 2 of the bosses wives come in to do menial work & get paid over $60k & $60k+ cars to drive. When 2 x 18yo can save the company $200k a year.
Talk about untouchable !!!!!!

Thats probably got more to do with the owners minimising income tax n stuff