Dumb things people say

Mustang Dave · 12-09-2005, 08:14 PM

My missus said to me tonight.........Why do they call it a Hi Five? Is it because there are five fingers on your hand? :togo:

And the other one..........We had to take my watch back for repairs. She says to the guy behind the counter " The third hand has fallen off ":gren:

She is not blonde !

Black XR6 · 12-09-2005, 08:17 PM

Quote:

She is not blonde !

I think we need DNA testing to confirm that.

**Polyal** · 12-09-2005, 08:19 PM

how about the one "terrorists hate us because we helped america in iraq"....

**Bluehoon** · 12-09-2005, 08:19 PM

She is TECHNICALLy correct.

But still

**Captain Stubing** · 12-09-2005, 09:29 PM

Funny, I got an email about this subject last week, from a lady at work... here's a part of it...

"Stupid people should have to wear signs that just
say, "I'm Stupid". That way you wouldn't rely
on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything.
It would be like, "Excuse me...oops...never
mind, didn't see your sign."

I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker
looked at me and said, "Are you still here?" I
replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's
your sign."

We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A
guy came over to the house and drove the car
round for about 45 minutes. We get back to the
house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and
grabs the exhaust pipe, then says, "Darn that's
hot!" See, if he'd been wearing his sign, I could
have stopped him.

The day after she sent it, she was in a car driving past Oxley's Restaurant (A restaurant on a big pontoon on the Brisbane River), and she asks, out of the blue, "What's with this restaurant?"
After she was told the obvious, I eventually found out that she REALLY wanted to know where people parked while they were dining at the restaurant.

I was able to say to her, "Here's your sign!"

Melz · 12-09-2005, 09:36 PM

Best one i heard..
"i think the engine has blown up"
"oh, what noise did it make... any warning lights come on the dash before this"
"well it died, but there was a light with a little petrol bowser picture on it and had been shown for a while!!!)

Sourbastard · 12-09-2005, 09:52 PM

Ive got too many to list, so ill just provide two summaries

http://www.fordforums.com.au/search....finduser&u=441

http://www.fordforums.com.au/search....induser&u=4042

**Captain Stubing** · 12-09-2005, 09:54 PM

Those links don't work for me, SourBastard!
It comes up with:

vBulletin Message

Sorry - no matches. Please try some different terms.

Edit: /Me thinks and looks left and right, in case I'm too stoopid to cotton onto something really deep....

XD-Machine · 12-09-2005, 09:54 PM

man my teacher said once

i thought you guys were yr 12 not yr 7 i expect that from yr 8. everybody was like wtf and just started laughing.

XD-Machine · 12-09-2005, 09:56 PM

here not a dumb thing to say but to see ppl agree to its just a dumb action i gess.

in a coin toss you say to the other person....

heads i win, tails you lose.

lol works about 50% of the time

Sourbastard · 12-09-2005, 09:58 PM

Links fixed.

Gammaboy · 12-09-2005, 10:00 PM

Gold! nice work :P

**Captain Stubing** · 12-09-2005, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sourbastard

Links fixed.

Evil is a bottomless bucket... :evil3:

andrew_smith_84 · 12-09-2005, 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swanny

"Stupid people should have to wear signs that just
say, "I'm Stupid". That way you wouldn't rely
on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything.
It would be like, "Excuse me...oops...never
mind, didn't see your sign."

That is pritty much a direct quote from a song i downloaded from the net.
Rodney Carrington - Stupid people. all of his songs are pritty funny, worth a download if you have winmx or something similar.

Psycho Chicken · 12-09-2005, 10:19 PM

His stand up is way better than his songs.

The MaDDeSTMaN · 12-09-2005, 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by andrew_smith_84

That is pritty much a direct quote from a song i downloaded from the net.
Rodney Carrington - Stupid people. all of his songs are pritty funny, worth a download if you have winmx or something similar.

I've heard exactly the same, only it was part of a stand up routine by Jeff Foxworthy from memory. He can be almost as funny as Sourbastard here is. :hihi:

**Captain Stubing** · 12-09-2005, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by andrew_smith_84

That is pritty much a direct quote from a song i downloaded from the net.
Rodney Carrington - Stupid people. all of his songs are pritty funny, worth a download if you have winmx or something similar.

Just downloaded the song... and yep! word for word quote of the email I received. Only the chorus was left out of the email!

This one's now on the thumbdrive... the challenge is to get it to be the Login sound when 'she' logs on the 'puter! :Reverend:

Sourbastard · 12-09-2005, 10:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swanny

Just downloaded the song... and yep! word for word quote of the email I received. Only the chorus was left out of the email!

This one's now on the thumbdrive... the challenge is to get it to be the Login sound when 'she' logs on the 'puter! :Reverend:

If you need a place to sleep tonight after she kicks you out, dont look at me. Ive got a waiting list.

**Captain Stubing** · 12-09-2005, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sourbastard

If you need a place to sleep tonight after she kicks you out, dont look at me. Ive got a waiting list.

Sorry, Sour... I'm meaning this for the admin girl we got (she was the preferred applicant.. she was the preferred applicant... she was....)

I think my missus would just laugh at it. If she thought I meant it for her, I'd be looking for a new planet :lookedat:

Shonky · 12-09-2005, 10:43 PM

Ahahaha!

Nice work SourBastard!

Gammaboy · 12-09-2005, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swanny

Sorry, Sour... I'm meaning this for the admin girl we got (she was the preferred applicant.. she was the preferred applicant... she was....)

I think my missus would just laugh at it. If she thought I meant it for her, I'd be looking for a new planet :lookedat:

Is she at least nice to look at? ;)

**Captain Stubing** · 12-09-2005, 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gammaboy

Is she at least nice to look at? ;)

That'd be a saving grace... ummm... not even pleasant. But, she was the preferred applicant for the job!

Sourbastard · 12-09-2005, 10:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by swanny

I think my missus would just laugh at it. If she thought I meant it for her, I'd be looking for a new planet :lookedat:

Never liked this planet anyway.

**Captain Stubing** · 12-09-2005, 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sourbastard

Never liked this planet anyway.

Errrr... I'd be looking for a new planet. I wasn't looking for a toyboy, but maybe you could clean up after me??

**Falcon Coupe** · 12-09-2005, 11:35 PM

My apprentice on getting his new diesel Landcrusier...... Me: "you will save money on spark plugs".....apprentice: "why"

TZENU · 12-09-2005, 11:45 PM

back in the days at school

"Sir its a bit dark in here could you draw the curtains"

Teacher gets his whiteboard marker and draws a picture of curtains on the whiteboard

Velociraptor · 13-09-2005, 12:13 AM

"The future isnt what it used to be and the past is history" Drunken epiphany while discussing living in the moment.

:

BA Bakes · 13-09-2005, 09:58 AM

Our nextdoor neighbours are a good laught. was sitting ou the backyard the other day and hear this.

The Dad: Get me a handfull of clothes pegs.
The Son: How many is a handfully?
The Dad: The amount the fits in your hand.
The Son: 1, 2, 3, 4, and counts them one by one until me can hold any more!!

about two hours later i hear the dad yell out. "Who moved me brick!!"

Some people shouldn't bred