Facebook birthday reminders & dead friends

AC · 03-07-2012, 08:51 AM

Wouldn't really be appropriate to say this on Facebook(too many mutuals), but here not so.

My uncle has been dead now a few years, And his birthday reminder popped up this morning on Facebook on his still active profile.

Anyone else get weirded out by this..? Feel uncomfortable by it..?

Sure I could unfriend him, but yeah...

LTDHO · 03-07-2012, 01:29 PM

Why feel uncomfortable?

glavas · 03-07-2012, 01:51 PM

Why is it wired? Im sure its generated by a computer that stores the dates of birthdays. You say his dead a few years now so im sure this has happend before than? Whats wired is that your freaked out by internet.

outside · 03-07-2012, 02:19 PM

im a admin on a speedway forum and one of the members emailed me saying that she got an email via the forum for her husband who had passed away birthday, she understood that it was an auto thing but did upset her all the same. i ended up deleting his account
R.I.P Bill

Dave_Obsession · 03-07-2012, 02:24 PM

You can ask Facebook to 'memorialize' their profile.
http://www.facebook.com/help/?page=185698814812082

Quote:

When a user passes away, we memorialize their account to protect their privacy. Memorializing an account sets the account privacy so that only confirmed friends can see the profile (timeline) or locate it in search. Friends and family can leave posts in remembrance. Memorializing an account also prevents anyone from logging into the account.

poppa smurf · 03-07-2012, 02:26 PM

I still "celebrate" my parents birthdays although they have been gone many years

I silently toast them......my memories are very warm and precious to me

I would be happy to have a reminder pop up in case I forget one day.......I would never "unfriend" them

The Yeti · 03-07-2012, 03:23 PM

Same as above, I have un friended some dead friends and I tell ya it feels really odd

buggo · 03-07-2012, 07:51 PM

I'm only 20 so not a common thing for me yet.
But I have had one friend who has passed away. He was beaten by his cancer last year, two weeks after his 21st. (A great night)
People still occasional post on his wall saying he is missed, and his birthday this year attracted the usual happy birthday post like any other friend.
I think it's a great thing. While in reality he is not here, he still exist via facebook. His pictures, old post, all memories are still there and with this he will never be forgotten. And a quick, tangible 'Hey man' is never out of reach.

AC · 03-07-2012, 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glavas

Why is it wired? Im sure its generated by a computer that stores the dates of birthdays. You say his dead a few years now so im sure this has happend before than? Whats wired is that your freaked out by internet.

I wouldn't go as far as saying im freaked out by it, having been round it almost 20years and I've seen it develop greatly over that time, not about to start worrying about it now, LOL

I've got about 5 people a on there now that have passed, so Its a regular reminder of Hey its such n such's birthday. Sure you can write on their wall and send your regards. The only people who will see it is the persons family & friends, it seems almost empty because you cant have a drink or a meal with them, maybe I'm a little old fashion in that sense.

I guess it comes back to the old saying, what's taboo for one, isn't for others.

Iggypoppin' · 12-07-2012, 04:12 PM

Lost a mate 6 years ago(he was 17) and we still post to celebrate his birthday, which also happens to be Christmas day. Not a nice day for his parents let me tell you :(

5tumpy · 11-08-2012, 07:16 AM

My wife's best friend was murdered by her scumbag ex last year, and while it doesn't freak me out, it was definitely weird when her birthday came up and everyone was wishing her a happy birthday like she was still with us...

The only think with it that freaked me out was just after the funeral, one of her friends actually not only added pictures of her casket being lowered into the ground, but tagged her in the photo... The worst part of it was that it was literally like 2 hours after the funeral, so it was a very, very fresh wound...

HLC · 11-08-2012, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 5tumpy

The only think with it that freaked me out was just after the funeral, one of her friends actually not only added pictures of her casket being lowered into the ground, but tagged her in the photo... The worst part of it was that it was literally like 2 hours after the funeral, so it was a very, very fresh wound...

That's messed up. Doesn't this person know what tact is? I hate people.

HLC · 11-08-2012, 10:02 AM

And FWIW when going thru my LinkedIn network, I see my Grandfather's profile to connect to. Every time I see it, I want to click connect, but as he passed away late last year.... You get the drift :(

FLYXR8 · 11-08-2012, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AC

Wouldn't really be appropriate to say this on Facebook(too many mutuals), but here not so.

My uncle has been dead now a few years, And his birthday reminder popped up this morning on Facebook on his still active profile.

Anyone else get weirded out by this..? Feel uncomfortable by it..?

Sure I could unfriend him, but yeah...

We need to remember the ones we have lost. I don't have any on fb but I think I would like it..Thay are still in ya Hart and mind. It's just a reminder

Vincenzo · 11-08-2012, 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AC

Anyone else get weirded out by this..? Feel uncomfortable by it

Mate I think it is a wonderful thing to happen

Quote:

Originally Posted by poppa smurf

I still "celebrate" my parents birthdays although they have been gone many years

I silently toast them......my memories are very warm and precious to me

I would be happy to have a reminder pop up in case I forget one day.......I would never "unfriend" them

Here here - unfortunately Dad died on my wedding anniversary but I am glad because I held his hand and it's not a day I will forget.

Quote:

Originally Posted by buggo

I'm only 20 so not a common thing for me yet.
But I have had one friend who has passed away. He was beaten by his cancer last year, two weeks after his 21st. (A great night)
People still occasional post on his wall saying he is missed, and his birthday this year attracted the usual happy birthday post like any other friend.
I think it's a great thing. While in reality he is not here, he still exist via facebook. His pictures, old post, all memories are still there and with this he will never be forgotten.

Quote:

Originally Posted by gaza

We need to remember the ones we have lost. I don't have any on fb but I think I would like it..Thay are still in ya Hart and mind. It's just a reminder

While at least one person still remembers them they may be dead physically but on all other levels they live on in our hearts and minds

I've been lucky enough to find two soul mates - unfortunately both at the same time. Married one, the other was my best friend. She died on the Winter solstice - shortest day of the year, how appropriate.

poppa smurf · 12-08-2012, 11:46 AM

if it's one thing I REALLY hate about getting older,......apart from teeth falling out, hair going grey, "things" not working like they used to, eyesight failing, kids getting stupider, days getting too long to make in one go in between naps, body parts needing replacing, joints stiffening to the point of not working as well as loss of concentration!

now what was I talking about?????......oh thats right getting older "the nasty bits"

well what hurts the most is friends and family passing.......I've been to so many funerals this year alone I'm getting xmas cards from the curator and the pallbearers .....I've seen the undertaker visually measuring me up

I have photos to keep the memories alive.....I've kept tapes from my answering machine just to hear there voices but it's not the same

i would love to have some scribblings on their daily life just "pop up" now and again so I never forget

personally I would treasure the little memory if a reminder came in to prod the old grey matter and trigger some really great thoughts of that person

celebrate the existence of some great souls and never forget them.......that way those that pass before us will live forever

now I got a headache from thinking too much and my knees are seizing from sitting too long.......where's me bex!

tweeked · 12-08-2012, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 5tumpy

My wife's best friend was murdered by her scumbag ex last year, and while it doesn't freak me out, it was definitely weird when her birthday came up and everyone was wishing her a happy birthday like she was still with us...

The only think with it that freaked me out was just after the funeral, one of her friends actually not only added pictures of her casket being lowered into the ground, but tagged her in the photo... The worst part of it was that it was literally like 2 hours after the funeral, so it was a very, very fresh wound...

Who would do that???? more scary than wierd.

RepSpec · 13-08-2012, 08:35 AM

a guy in my year level at school died a few years ago in a car accident and i only found out through fb. i had to remove/block him because his gf would constantly post updates on it and it was pretty hard to read after a while about how much she missed him ect.
i get what the op is saying, but try to turn it into a happy reminder as everyone has said

gtfpv · 13-08-2012, 11:36 AM

very rude on behalf of your uncle , he couldve atleast informed facebook he died.

AC · 14-08-2012, 01:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gtfpv

very rude on behalf of your uncle , he couldve atleast informed facebook he died.

Tell that to the other three, lol

ford71V8 · 14-08-2012, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 5tumpy

My wife's best friend was murdered by her scumbag ex last year, and while it doesn't freak me out, it was definitely weird when her birthday came up and everyone was wishing her a happy birthday like she was still with us...

The only think with it that freaked me out was just after the funeral, one of her friends actually not only added pictures of her casket being lowered into the ground, but tagged her in the photo... The worst part of it was that it was literally like 2 hours after the funeral, so it was a very, very fresh wound...

That is ridiculous.
Some people have no idea.
facebook is changing the way people act and interact. For the worse.

The morning 'news' program last week tells me i am a potential psychopath because I refuse to create a facebook account. Apparently I have secrets and personal stuff to hide and therefore others should be suspicious.

blueoval · 14-08-2012, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ford71V8

That is ridiculous.
Some people have no idea.
facebook is changing the way people act and interact. For the worse.

The morning 'news' program last week tells me i am a potential psychopath because I refuse to create a facebook account. Apparently I have secrets and personal stuff to hide and therefore others should be suspicious.

Call me old fashioned, but....

I believe I am in the minority of normal people who do not use facebook as a way of 'fake' communicating with people. Rather, I prefer to pick up a phone and call people I care about and ask them how they feel as it's far more personal, and provide more sincere meaning rather than giving them a electronic 'poke' or 'like' on their bloody profile.

As for reminders of loved ones who have left us. A reminder on your phone is enough to give a moments silence, and a call to any closer related family members to offer words of support as you remember them for the good they did. But if you must use FB, keeping their profile current as 'friend' is probably another way to remember them.

creative · 14-08-2012, 04:50 PM

I have 2 friends that have passed on fb.

First was a very good friend of mine, who i made alot of time for and was there when she needed me went quiet but i had a bad feeling. Her sister posted on her fb that she had taken her own life. Her friends have been very good in respect to posting on her profile and is only done on her birthday and the day she passed. Its a nice reminder and i think i would miss it if her account was deleted.

The other is very recently ( 2 weeks ago) and he passed from cancer.

Its always nice to remember them and every now and again i will browse the photos just to help the old memory!