Dad-ism's...We all have one!

[Muzz Landau]

My Dad is the master of telling a tall story.
he always says, "Never let the truth get in the way of a good story!"

[marty351]

Originally Posted by Muzz Landau

My Dad is the master of telling a tall story.
he always says, "Never let the truth get in the way of a good story!"

Thats a great saying.
It's also the politicians first rule.

[sr71]

"I'm just going to give birth to the Prime Minister" as a way of informing others about having a crap.

[Burnout]

In the car: Dad: "Anyone smell petrol?"

[SSD-85]

A couple ive heard over the years;

Going to drop the Cosbys off at the pool

Parking the big brown buick in the porcelain garage

A fart is just a *urd telegram

Second hole from the back of the neck

[Revolver]

Originally Posted by Burnout

In the car: Dad: "Anyone smell petrol?"

Hahaha, im guessing thats after he locked the windows?

[Burnout]

Typically my kids used to come in with skinned knees, elbows, etc.. I would always clean it up, wipe their tears and tell 'em, "It will grow back".
Now the pair of 'em are as hard as nails.

[superyob]

Originally Posted by Binny

When I was young and did something dumb my old man used to say "Use your Richard Cranium!"
Didn't realise back then that he was calling me a dick head hahaha.

A lot of my fun childhood memories are of the musical farts my old man used to trumpet out all the time to my mums disgust.

Now my young boys and I have a lot of laughs with all my fart jokes and dad jokes. To my wife's disgust haha.

There is something eternally funny about the back passage rush of wind. I still almost need hospitalisation from laughing after a good fart joke or movie scene...

[Burnout]

/\ The 'beans scene' from Blazing Saddles.

[Kieron]

Originally Posted by monzie

The more mature members will remember when it cost a penny to use public loo's [spend a penny] and this little ditty was one my dad always trotted out.

Here I sit brokenhearted, paid a penny and only farted
Here I sit very thankfull. paid a penny and did a tankfull.

As a youngster I had some very close calls with no money in my pocket.

I must have had an updated version -
Here I sit brokenhearted, tried to **** but only farted
Dads in the army, mums in the marines, i'm on the toilet bombing submarines


Going to a restaurant with the kids, one was about 2 yers old, the waitress would ask me if I needed a high chair, always say no thanks, i'll just sit here. Older kids and wife roll their eyes, waitress probably heard it a thousand times.

Kids running around in the house, bang into say the coffee table and hurt themselves, i'll straight away ask if the coffee table is ok in a concerned voice. The older kids turned the tables and use it on me now, cheeky buggers