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Old 27-02-2005, 03:32 PM   #1
Mudzy
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planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

I had amnesia once -- or twice.

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?

Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?

They told me I was gullible ... and I believed them.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home, and when he grows up he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.

Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?

My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

How can there be self-help "groups"?

Is there another word for synonym?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

The speed of time is one-second per second.

Is it possible to be totally partial?

What's another word for thesaurus?

Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.


Think of any others plz add
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Old 27-02-2005, 03:41 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mudzy
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.

The speed of time is one-second per second.
They both make sense to me! :
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Old 27-02-2005, 05:14 PM   #3
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if its a blind date, why can you see the other person????

why are things transproted by water called cargo and things transported by land called shipments?

bah! i dont know what im on about :P
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Old 27-02-2005, 05:52 PM   #4
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classic one...why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
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Old 27-02-2005, 09:19 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Selekta
classic one...why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
I don't know where you come from, but in Australia, we drive on the road.
:evilsasmo
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Old 27-02-2005, 09:26 PM   #6
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Why do pyschics needs doorbells?
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Old 27-02-2005, 09:37 PM   #7
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Why do you give your money to a broker?
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Old 27-02-2005, 09:37 PM   #8
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Why isn't phonetic spelt the way it sounds?
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Old 27-02-2005, 10:53 PM   #9
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I am so therefore I must be.
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Old 27-02-2005, 11:25 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mudzy
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.
This is the only thing you will ever need to remember. Ask any DIY home handy man, everything can be fixed with a hammer!

(btw, that extends to Zip Ties(tm) if your working on a car)
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Old 27-02-2005, 11:40 PM   #11
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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

Nothing is foolproof to a talented fool

Save the whale's, collect the set

Honk if you love peace and quiet

He who laughs last thinks slowest

The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard
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Old 28-02-2005, 10:11 PM   #12
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why is it a DRIVE through when you have to stop?

why do places that are open 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year have locks on their main enterance?

what does a computer screen actually monitor?

why isnt an alarm clock ever alarmed?
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Old 01-03-2005, 09:43 AM   #13
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If flying is the safest mode of transport, why is the airport called the Terminal?
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Old 01-03-2005, 09:48 AM   #14
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Who's the cruel bastard who put the letter S in LISP?
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Old 01-03-2005, 10:07 AM   #15
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We all know that females that do ballet are ballerinas. What are males called?
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Old 01-03-2005, 02:48 PM   #16
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If FoMoCo is Ford Motor Company, and Nismo is Nissan Motorsport...then what is Honda?
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Old 01-03-2005, 02:54 PM   #17
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HO-MO!!!!!!!!! :hihi:

cmon you knew it was coming hahahahaha
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Old 01-03-2005, 03:01 PM   #18
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nah I prefer HO-MO CO....and no this is'nt a knock at FoMoCo more of a knock at the annoying people at ToMoCo whom i'm looking at at the moment! :
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nah mate, aussie cars are the besterest and funnerest, nothing beats them, specially a poofy wrong wheel drive
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Old 01-03-2005, 03:42 PM   #19
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Eagles may soar like the wind, but weazles dont get sucked into jet engines

If Barbie is so poular why do you have to buy her friends?

what is the speed of Dark?
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Old 01-03-2005, 05:03 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Selekta
If FoMoCo is Ford Motor Company, and Nismo is Nissan Motorsport...then what is Honda?
HOldens Never Do Anything

also, parachutists wear helmets. if the parachute fails do you think a helmet is going to save them?

there are NO male octopus either....ever heard of an OCTOCOCK?
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