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The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat |
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28-02-2005, 05:02 PM | #1 | ||
Regular Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 81
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An Oriental was trying to exchange yen for dollars and asked the teller,"Why it change, yestoday I get two hunat dollar fo yen - today I get a hunat eighty?"
The tellers says, "Fluctuations." The Oriental says, "Fluc you white guys too!" BLONDE IN A BMW A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburettor." She asks, "How often do I have to do that?" IRISH DAUGHTER The Irishman's daughter had not been to the house for over 5 years. Upon her return, her father cussed her; " Where have you been all this time, you ingrate! Why didn't you write us, not even a line to let us know how you were doing? Why didn't you call?You little tramp! Don't you know what you put your Mum through??!!" The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a prostitute..." "WHAT!!? Out of here, you shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family - I don't ever want to see you again!" "Okay, Dad - as you wish. I just came back to give Mom this luxury fur coat, title deeds to a ten bed-roomed mansion, plus a savings account certificate for 5 million pounds. For my little brother, this gold Rolex, and for you, Daddy, the spanking new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside, plus a lifetime membership to the Country Club. (takes a breath) .. and an invitation for you all to spend New Years' Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and...." "Now what was it you said you had become?" The girl, crying again, replied, "Sniff, sniff .. A prostitute Dad! . Sniff, sniff ." "Oh! Be Jesus! - you scared me half to death, girl! I thought you said "a Protestant". Come here and give your old man a hug!" THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2030, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them... THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES! A girl was visiting her blond friend who had acquired two new dogs and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?" To which he Blonde replies, "HellOOOOOOO. They're watch dogs!"
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Every day above ground is a good day. Still Drinking & Driving, But Not At The Same Time |
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28-02-2005, 05:31 PM | #2 | ||
meow
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Where the Pirates are.
Posts: 2,744
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this is just to make the message longer, do not read it. |
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28-02-2005, 05:37 PM | #3 | ||
windsor user
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Geelong
Posts: 13,123
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LMFAO
love that last blond joke thats mad |
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28-02-2005, 07:34 PM | #4 | |||
Sublime
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Wagga
Posts: 2,029
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Quote:
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28-02-2005, 08:39 PM | #5 | ||
Afterburner + skids =
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Skidsville
Posts: 12,146
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hahaah you strike again normell
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Speed Kills. So buy an AU XR8 and live forever. Oo\===/oO |
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28-02-2005, 09:51 PM | #6 | ||
Regular Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Central Coast, NSW
Posts: 383
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HAHAHA love the carburettor one!
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01-03-2005, 12:44 PM | #7 | ||
Silver Therapy
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 38
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A messase from da Blondes
Complaint letter from Aimee: Us blondes at the offise are sew tired of awl of the dum stoopid jokes about us. We think this is hairassment. It causes us grate stress and makes our roots turn dark. We have hired a loyer and he is talking to the loyers at Clairol. We will take this all the way to the supreme cort if we have two. Juj Thomas knos all about hairassment and he will be on are side. We have also talked to the govner to make a new law to stop this pursicushun. We want a law that makes peepol tell brewnet jokes as much as blonde jokes and every so offen a read head joke. If we don't get our way, we will not date anybody that ain't blonde and we will make up jokes about you and we will laff. Sined by the blondes at the offise (Pleese sine with a pensil so you can erace it if you make a mistake.)
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We the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much for so long that we are now qualified to do anything with nothing............. :1syellow1 :1syellow1 :1syellow1 |
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02-03-2005, 02:35 PM | #8 | ||
have you seen my marbles?
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: land of oz
Posts: 570
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^^^^classic^^^^
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comfortably numb... |
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02-03-2005, 03:47 PM | #9 | ||
THCC Motorsport member 1
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: the ghetto....no im being serious!
Posts: 1,139
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arrrgh it uttak ov da blondz :o
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Southcyde Designs<------click here : Member of the MTAS Founder of TTM (team twink motorsport) Founder of the AFFDDPS (Australian Ford Forums Drink Driving Punishment Squad) |
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