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The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat |
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23-11-2006, 08:20 PM | #1 | ||
Formerly known as NUDGE
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 327
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MAN LAW
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. 2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances: (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse. (c) After wrecking your boss' car. (d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game". (e) When she is using her teeth. 3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies. 4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours. 5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her. 6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable. 7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice. 8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest. 9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing. 10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend. 11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free. 12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts. 13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked. 14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed. 15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything. 16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers. 17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight. 18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy. 19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer. 20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response. 21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights: (a) Yeah, Baby, Push it! (b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder! (c) Another set and we can hit the showers! 22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need. 23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary. 24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs. 25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours. 26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue. 27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story. 28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever. 29: Pull out We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below. "GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?" "BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the *** and having the balls to say, "You're next!" We hope this clears up any confusion. The International Council of Manhood, Ltd
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My Ride BF Mk11 Ute Mrs Ride 2004 Toyota Prado GXL |
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23-11-2006, 08:29 PM | #2 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Canberra
Posts: 13,487
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LMFAO! That's good!
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23-11-2006, 10:10 PM | #3 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Geelong
Posts: 2,408
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That is Gold! :
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THE PROJECT [XY-924]
1970 Ford Falcon XY THE Daily 1994 Ford Falcon ED XR6 Manual |
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24-11-2006, 12:13 AM | #4 | ||
eskyman
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: adelaide
Posts: 874
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classic
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who says kents cant be quick |
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24-11-2006, 12:24 AM | #5 | |||
I love AU XR8s
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Gold Coast QLD
Posts: 1,382
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Excellent, but this rule is crap...
"25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours. " :P
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Quote:
FPV & XR Owners Club of Qld
Want more info on our club? fpvxrqldinfo@gmail.com or see our Club Section My Garage: AU II XR8 Sedan "Lil T" Hyundai i30 SR yeah baby! |
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24-11-2006, 12:32 AM | #6 | |||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Perth
Posts: 1,557
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Quote:
The perks of being a man!! |
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24-11-2006, 12:38 AM | #7 | ||||
I love AU XR8s
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Gold Coast QLD
Posts: 1,382
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No, i meant that it doesnt apply. :evil_laug
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Quote:
FPV & XR Owners Club of Qld
Want more info on our club? fpvxrqldinfo@gmail.com or see our Club Section My Garage: AU II XR8 Sedan "Lil T" Hyundai i30 SR yeah baby! |
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24-11-2006, 12:51 AM | #8 | |||
Regular Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Berwick
Posts: 36
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Quote:
(Give it time, it will be pink...) You may be right GC that could be dangerous, big muscules hairy body's grease stained sliding out of a pink falcon.
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BF Wagon,icon XF UTE,svo white. EF GLI front damage for bits. If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy? |
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24-11-2006, 08:38 AM | #9 | |||
AFF Post NAZI
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Albury
Posts: 3,634
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OMG that shit is GOLD. Straight to the printer and off to my mates and GF thats going 4 sure........ my gav 1....
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i always wanted an xbox as wel heheh
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"Its not always about power, The car has to handle Beautifully" |
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24-11-2006, 09:58 AM | #10 | ||
Grunt Files
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Rockhampton QLD
Posts: 466
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top stuff mate
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24-11-2006, 03:19 PM | #11 | ||||
I love AU XR8s
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Gold Coast QLD
Posts: 1,382
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Quote:
Pursuit 250- Brett's (But mine if i want to claim it sometimes :Up_to_som ) XR8 Sedan - Mine (I drive it most days, he said it was mainly for me, so i claimed it full-time! Lol) So i can paint it pink when i want to, but he wont fund it, so i have to save up...:( There will be a V8 Princess (or similar) sticker on there soon though... :evil_laug We can make an adjustment to rule 2: 2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances: (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse. (c) After wrecking your boss' car. (d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game". (e) When she is using her teeth. (f) When she gets one of the cars painted pink
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Quote:
FPV & XR Owners Club of Qld
Want more info on our club? fpvxrqldinfo@gmail.com or see our Club Section My Garage: AU II XR8 Sedan "Lil T" Hyundai i30 SR yeah baby! |
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24-11-2006, 04:23 PM | #12 | |||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,094
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Quote:
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24-11-2006, 05:09 PM | #13 | ||||
Lucifer's Angel
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sydney
Posts: 5,282
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Quote:
Quote:
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SINISTER BA XR6 Blueprint, manual, 4490's, Redback 2.5" dual exhaust, BA Typhoon rims, tint, fog light covers, BF tailights, blue illuminated window switches, Ghia bootlid carpet, lower grille, FPV door spears, steering wheel & interior bits, XR6T + F6 intake, K&N filter, Typhoon spoiler, tuned, sway bars, custom angel eyes & plates..YUM!
If there's one thing guys in Holdens hate more than being beaten by a Ford... It's being beaten by a girl driving a Ford |
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24-11-2006, 09:34 PM | #14 | ||
Afterburner + skids =
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Skidsville
Posts: 12,171
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Hahaha that list is brilliant!
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Speed Kills. So buy an AU XR8 and live forever. Oo\===/oO |
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