26 Things the Movies Taught You...

[Marlin_Girl]

26 Things the Movies Taught You...

1) Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people--whether they are employed or not.

2) At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

3) Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

4) Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.

5) It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

6) When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

7) If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.

8) Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

9) Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

10) All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach the armpit level on a woman, but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

11) All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

12) It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

13) Once applied, lipstick will never rub off--even while scuba diving.

14) You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

15) Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do.

16) The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

17) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

18) If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

19) If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

20) Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: “Enter Password Now.”

21) Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

22) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

23) A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

24) If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.

25) Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

26) When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.


hehhehe LMAO at 5 and 11

[Stevo]

hahaha very good. Nice find !

[rob_o]

Haha yeah Ive read these somewhere before. Its amazing how a lot of em are true once u think about it.

[Dodge]

27, u never go to # 2's
28, bruce willis has never eaten a meal , that explains why they never take a dump in a movie...

[Paris Hilton]

Originally Posted by Dodge

27, u never go to # 2's
28, bruce willis has never eaten a meal , that explains why they never take a dump in a movie...

i don't get it

[Peuty]

When have you ever seen anyone lay a cable in a movie???

Never paid much attention to this sort of thing, but they are all spot on.
Absolutely love # 24 :dj:

[Kapn_Kiwi]

Originally Posted by Dodge

27, u never go to # 2's
28, bruce willis has never eaten a meal , that explains why they never take a dump in a movie...

Demolition man. He doesn't know how the three seashells work.
Also, Collateral Damage. Every time Arnie's trying to act anything other than 'Angry' I think he is too.

[Franky]

Does anyone find it annoying in movies when the bad guy/girl is about to kill the hero but instead of doing so they tell them how they are going to kill them until their injured friend or cop partner crawls to them and shoots the bad guy/girl just in the nick of time?

[Danny]

#29: When you wake up in the morning, you and your partner never ever have a dry mouth and bad morning breath, and can passionately kiss each other 'good morning'.....

[Cheahman]

#30: Whenever a car is about to drive off, the tyres always squeal no matter what car they have as they take off.

[bindi]

Originally Posted by Danny

#29: When you wake up in the morning, you and your partner never ever have a dry mouth and bad morning breath, and can passionately kiss each other 'good morning'.....

Yeah I always hate that one... the only movie to ever deal with the "issue" is America's Sweethearts :

[bindi]

Originally Posted by Devil Racer

Does anyone find it annoying in movies when the bad guy/girl is about to kill the hero but instead of doing so they tell them how they are going to kill them until their injured friend or cop partner crawls to them and shoots the bad guy/girl just in the nick of time?

Yeah course, that's normal for the bad guy/girl to want to tell all, that gives the captive's friend/partner time to rescue them, it happens all the time in real life : :

[Marlin_Girl]

Originally Posted by Cheahman

#30: Whenever a car is about to drive off, the tyres always squeal no matter what car they have as they take off.

Ha!! good one :
that's perfect!!!

[Danny]

or #31 : When a villain or other character falls off a high place to fall down to the earth below, they always scream, no matter whether they've been shot, stabbed, or kicked unconcious...

Originally Posted by Cheahman

#30: Whenever a car is about to drive off, the tyres always squeal no matter what car they have as they take off.

thats absolute gold!!

[BlueRaven]

Originally Posted by Cheahman

#30: Whenever a car is about to drive off, the tyres always squeal no matter what car they have as they take off.

The only thing you can possibly add to that is that it never seems to matter what surface the car is when the tyres squeal, be it grass, gravel, ice or dirt.

[smciner1]

Originally Posted by Cheahman

#30: Whenever a car is about to drive off, the tyres always squeal no matter what car they have as they take off.

American Movies, have you ever driven an American Car?

[Marlin_Girl]

Originally Posted by BlueRaven

The only thing you can possibly add to that is that it never seems to matter what surface the car is when the tyres squeal, be it grass, gravel, ice or dirt.

LMAO @ grass!!

nice

[Pursuit250]

From the movies I've seen the girls only have sex in high heeled shoes :

And I have many more but I am afraid I am invading a clean threat. Sorry :

[Magical_ED]

lol all of the made up ones are great.
And no matter what they only get like 5 mins of sleep during a full film. Cars can somehow do barrel rolls perfectly after hitting another car, or they will just jump straight over them and keep driving.

[Dodge]

u dont need money to get a train or a bus. and cars never need fueling up, no matter how long they drive them, elanore wouldnt have gone 1/2 the distance driven with a completly full tank.

[Paris Hilton]

Everyone uses Apple computers.

[Bossxr8]

Originally Posted by Skinny_Puppy

Demolition man. He doesn't know how the three seashells work.
Also, Collateral Damage. Every time Arnie's trying to act anything other than 'Angry' I think he is too.

That wasn't Bruce Willis, that was Sylvester Stallone.

[Kapn_Kiwi]

I know it was Sly, I was meaning in regards to #27.

[Steffo]

#32 Whenever a good guy is running from a bad guy in a car, the car miraculously breaks down somehow... or, if they run to a car (which was working perfectly the scene before), it miraculously won't start....

[hawke]

# 33 All apartments in New York will always have one free parking space out the front to park in.

# 34 All taxi drivers are forign and swarthy and never give change. Change for the taxi fare is never given.

#35 All windows of all cars are perfectly clean, even old cars.

[Twisted]

Whenever someone falls of a roof they have one leg cocked up at a queer angle.

[b2tf]

#36 If a cop is in Pursuit and needs to borrow a car, no matter what car they borrow or take, it can beat the car they're chasing.

#37 Said car will always have the keys in it, start first time and run perfectly.

#38 No matter how damaged, shot at or dented the car gets or is, it will run, steer and drive perfectly.

#39 Hummers can destroy anything in their path and come out dent free.

#40 The Bad guys are always hopeless shots even at point blank, range, however the Good guys hit the target first time every time.

#41 Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot be beaten.

#42 People who have led a life of crime can be beaten by an 8-10 yr old in a matter of minutes.

#43 Hostages never get shot even if there's 45 oppotunities for them to be.

#44 If a bank or store is being robbed, the Manager is always the first person they come across.

#45 Police stations always have loads of Police in the station or driving off on Patrol, but they're never around in the city when you need them.

#46 Bruce Willis doesnt know how to shave.

#47 No matter how many drinks the Good Guy has, he will never feel the effects of it. However, 1 drink and the Bad Guy is out of it.

[MITCHAY]

Originally Posted by back2thefutura

#36 If a cop is in Pursuit and needs to borrow a car, no matter what car they borrow or take, it can beat the car they're chasing.

(cops keepn up wit a R34 GTR-haha i dont think so-Fast and the furious)

(BMW keepn up wit a Shelby in Gone in 60 seconds). wat a laugh