Welcome to the Australian Ford Forums forum.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and inserts advertising. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members, respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features without post based advertising banners. Registration is simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us.

Please Note: All new registrations go through a manual approval queue to keep spammers out. This is checked twice each day so there will be a delay before your registration is activated.

Go Back   Australian Ford Forums > General Topics > Non Ford Related Community Forums > The Bar

The Bar For non Automotive Related Chat

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 13-01-2007, 09:08 PM   #1
GasoLane
Former BTIKD
Donating Member2
 
GasoLane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Sunny Downtown Wagga Wagga. NSW.
Posts: 53,197
Default The Husband Store...Joke, men only:)

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New
York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband.
Among the instructions at the entrance is a
description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six
floors and the value of the product increases as the
shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose
any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go
up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down
except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a
husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are
Extremely Good Looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are
Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are
Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a
Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes on to the
sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists
solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

-----------

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner also
opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have
money.

The third through sixth floors have never been visited.

__________________
Dying at your job is natures way of saying that you're in the wrong line of work.
GasoLane is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 13-01-2007, 09:11 PM   #2
FRDGAL
GT-P #0336
 
FRDGAL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 2,360
Default

Hahaha funny
__________________
2003 FULLY OPTIONED MERCURY SILVER BA GT-P BUILD #336
REVERSE CAMERA - SAT NAV - PIONEER SUB & AMP - SUNROOF - DVD PLAYER - CUSTOM DUAL EXHAUST
~Tuned By Bluepower Racing~
FRDGAL is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 13-01-2007, 09:13 PM   #3
Jeeepers
Merry Xmas To All
 
Jeeepers's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Melton South, Moderator: ORSM Club
Posts: 3,413
Default

Gold... Love it... :hihi: :hihi: :hihi: :hihi:
Jeeepers is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 13-01-2007, 09:15 PM   #4
eXtremist
2007 Ford Focus Zetec
 
eXtremist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 431
Default

Hahaha good stuff!
eXtremist is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 13-01-2007, 09:46 PM   #5
duaned
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
duaned's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Lake Macquarie, Newcastle NSW
Posts: 3,164
Default

Legendary shite their mate!
duaned is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 13-01-2007, 10:02 PM   #6
petera
4dr rs2000mk2 & ELXR6
 
petera's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: mildura, Australia
Posts: 15
Default

how true is that. and they say the way to a mans heart is though his stomach. a little lower he he
petera is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 13-01-2007, 10:17 PM   #7
MITCHAY
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Canberra
Posts: 13,465
Default

Aint it the truth though!
MITCHAY is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 13-01-2007, 11:00 PM   #8
Van D
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
Van D's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Calgary, AB. Canada
Posts: 1,625
Default

Haha, that's rad.
Van D is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 13-01-2007, 11:18 PM   #9
MITCHAY
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Canberra
Posts: 13,465
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by popinfresh
Haha, that's rad.
There's something I haven't heard for a while. "rad" that is :
MITCHAY is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 13-01-2007, 11:39 PM   #10
Van D
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
Van D's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Calgary, AB. Canada
Posts: 1,625
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MITCHAY
There's something I haven't heard for a while. "rad" that is :
Maan, i'm bringin' that word back, lol. Have being for years. It's excellent.
Van D is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 13-01-2007, 11:50 PM   #11
MITCHAY
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Canberra
Posts: 13,465
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by popinfresh
Maan, i'm bringin' that word back, lol. Have being for years. It's excellent.
Old school y0! Damn I'm 20 and I feel old!
MITCHAY is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 14-01-2007, 07:18 PM   #12
TUF_302
The Vengeful One
Donating Member1
 
TUF_302's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Tazzy
Posts: 12,765
Default

HAHAHA, one of the best jokes ive read in a long time!
__________________
TUF_302 is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 15-01-2007, 12:11 AM   #13
uranium_death
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
uranium_death's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Gren A Waverrey
Posts: 2,434
Default

Men are easier to please. It is a fact.

For a women to earn 100 turn-on points, she only has to say, "I wish to engage in sexual intercourse with you right now" (perhaps in a more sensual fashion) and you've got shoes under the bed. Men only need the slightest hint, and they're away!

For a man to earn points is a lot more complicated. You give her a rose, that's 1 point. You give her chocolates, that's one point. You tell her that you're interested in who she is, that's one point. You mention her breasts are nice and big, that's -100 points.

Read, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus."

We are very different.

That's why I like my cat. Give it food, and you've got 1000 points.
uranium_death is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 15-01-2007, 12:57 AM   #14
Redrum
Force Fed Fords
 
Redrum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Victoria
Posts: 5,556
Default

Awesome, I like, it's nice!
__________________
2021 Focus ST-3 Mountune Enhanced
Redrum is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 15-01-2007, 02:02 AM   #15
Van D
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
Van D's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Calgary, AB. Canada
Posts: 1,625
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by uranium_death
That's why I like my cat. Give it food, and you've got 1000 points.
Ummm, did I just totally read that the wrong way? :
Van D is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 15-01-2007, 05:56 AM   #16
JADED6
V8 Ghia & BF2 XR6 + Wagon
 
JADED6's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 1,569
Default

Good stuff.
Not often that a joke is posted that isn't a re-post etc.
JADED6 is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 15-01-2007, 07:36 PM   #17
Shonky
my other ride is the bus.
 
Shonky's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Under a rock.
Posts: 1,367
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by uranium_death
That's why I like my cat. Give it food, and you've got 1000 points.
: Whatever keeps you warm at night...
__________________
1994 ED Fairmont Ghia (Retired to the shed...)
1999 AU Futura

+ Lots of Land Rovers

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sourbastard
Edelbrock.... not Peter Brock. Theres a world of difference. For a start my heads have much less gum tree in them.
Shonky is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 15-01-2007, 07:37 PM   #18
Shonky
my other ride is the bus.
 
Shonky's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Under a rock.
Posts: 1,367
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by popinfresh
Ummm, did I just totally read that the wrong way? :
Nope... I am concerned, amused and disgusted all at once!

:ticking:
__________________
1994 ED Fairmont Ghia (Retired to the shed...)
1999 AU Futura

+ Lots of Land Rovers

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sourbastard
Edelbrock.... not Peter Brock. Theres a world of difference. For a start my heads have much less gum tree in them.
Shonky is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 16-01-2007, 01:09 PM   #19
GasoLane
Former BTIKD
Donating Member2
 
GasoLane's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Sunny Downtown Wagga Wagga. NSW.
Posts: 53,197
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by uranium_death
That's why I like my cat. Give it food, and you've got 1000 points.
Yeah, cats are cool. And much cheaper than buying tinned Dog food
__________________
Dying at your job is natures way of saying that you're in the wrong line of work.
GasoLane is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 16-01-2007, 01:21 PM   #20
NC_GHIA
FirstOnRaceDay
 
NC_GHIA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: NEWCASTLE
Posts: 1,243
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by GasOLane
Yeah, cats are cool. And much cheaper than buying tinned Dog food
Yeah thats true...

haha great joke I think I have seen it in a street machine book before
__________________
MY BRAND NEW RIDE

NC Fairlane GHIA
Series II
I6.
Mods. 2.5" cat back
Clarion HU
Soundstream speakers amp and subs
Lowered
DL LTD rims
: thats it!
For the moment... :
NC_GHIA is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 16-01-2007, 01:42 PM   #21
XYGTHO
FORD FREAK
 
XYGTHO's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Rockhampton
Posts: 1,750
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by 6cylEA
Yeah thats true...

haha great joke I think I have seen it in a street machine book before
Yep. Pretry sure that were i seen it to.
__________________
JUST LOVE THAT V8 SOUND, RUMBLE, MUSIC!
XYGTHO is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 16-01-2007, 07:11 PM   #22
joe260
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
joe260's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Regents Park
Posts: 1,315
Default

sorry i just had to have a sneak peak sorry im a girl but that is true about most woman!! im different though.. A guy doesnt have to be romantic all the time... dont bother me if he doesnt do housework... insides for a female outside for men!! and i think ive read it in a street machine magazine before.. does that bother any guys ive been on this bit here??
joe260 is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 16-01-2007, 07:28 PM   #23
nugget378
Weezland
 
nugget378's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Sydney,workshop mod
Posts: 7,216
Technical Contributor: For members who share their technical expertise. - Issue reason: Always willing to impart knowledge in the technical areas. 
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by FordGirl86
sorry i just had to have a sneak peak sorry im a girl but that is true about most woman!! im different though..
Yes,yes of course you are :
nugget378 is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 17-01-2007, 03:03 PM   #24
joe260
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
joe260's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Regents Park
Posts: 1,315
Default

you wouldnt know unless u really had a chat now wouldnt ya lol ;)
joe260 is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 17-01-2007, 03:32 PM   #25
4.9 EF Futura
Official AFF conservative
 
4.9 EF Futura's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Adelaide, SA
Posts: 3,549
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by FordGirl86
dont bother me if he doesnt do housework... insides for a female outside for men!!
No deal... yardwork sucks!!!
__________________
A cup half empty... but full of euphoria.
4.9 EF Futura is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 17-01-2007, 04:13 PM   #26
joe260
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
joe260's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Regents Park
Posts: 1,315
Default

how can a small girl like me carry heavy things then?
joe260 is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 17-01-2007, 04:17 PM   #27
4.9 EF Futura
Official AFF conservative
 
4.9 EF Futura's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Adelaide, SA
Posts: 3,549
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by FordGirl86
how can a small girl like me carry heavy things then?
Lol, get him to pay for some contractors.... you'll only up nursing him after he puts his back out anyways...
__________________
A cup half empty... but full of euphoria.
4.9 EF Futura is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 17-01-2007, 08:04 PM   #28
joe260
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
 
joe260's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Regents Park
Posts: 1,315
Default

why get someone else to pay for me when i can easily pay for things myself... depends on the ages i guess id hire
joe260 is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 17-01-2007, 08:08 PM   #29
Jock260
Cast Iron fan
 
Jock260's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Townsville
Posts: 1,159
Default

absolute gold
__________________
I have a Corolla
Jock260 is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Old 17-01-2007, 10:05 PM   #30
cool65
carefactor zero
 
cool65's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: s/e melbourne
Posts: 423
Default

Geeee, when I went to the wives store I thought it was a good thing when they were having a bargain basement sale

Now there is no sex & no money
Attached Images
File Type: gif saddams cat.gif (91.4 KB, 43 views)
cool65 is offline   Reply With Quote Multi-Quote with this Post
Reply


Forum Jump


All times are GMT +11. The time now is 05:53 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Other than what is legally copyrighted by the respective owners, this site is copyright www.fordforums.com.au
Positive SSL