Things people just shouldn't.. and i mean SHOULDN'T have said...

[X000BOSS]

back in high school, while mate was doing a u-turn we heard a hissing sound. he then told me we must of hit a gas pipe, i told him he must of busted his tyre valve when he scraped his wheel on the curb. he has no id what to do, i asked him to get the spare out of the back(the car was a magna wagon) and he said he didnt have one. when i lifted the wagons floor he almost fainted!!!! then i said grab the bloody jack, his answer was "whats that", thats when i almost fainted!!!!!!!!!1. anyway, i changed the tyre and replaced the hubcaps and all was well.
come to think of it now, no one is that silly. he must of been much smarter than i thought because i was the one changing the tyre not him because he ""didnt know what a jack was and he didnt have a spare"". who is silly now. doh!

[05MkIIFutura]

Originally Posted by Paris Hilton

guy named Rory at my high school: Yeah my uncle got from here (canberra) to Sydney in 2 hours...he did it at 3am in the morning a Aston Martin V8, doing 180km/h, but 170 around the corners :

Also the good old "Yeah I always go around corners in 4th" - thinking that a) 4th means fast, and b) that fast means hardcore.

I dont see how that is so unrealistic, I can get from Dickson traffic lights (Canberra) to Campbelltown interchange (Sydney outskirts) in 2 hours in the middle of the day in my Falcon, I reckon at 3 am I could almost get all the way into Sydney in 2 hours if i was willing to speed a little, it is freeway the whole way.

Originally Posted by 05MkIIFutura

I dont see how that is so unrealistic, I can get from Dickson traffic lights (Canberra) to Campbelltown interchange (Sydney outskirts) in 2 hours in the middle of the day in my Falcon, I reckon at 3 am I could almost get all the way into Sydney in 2 hours if i was willing to speed a little, it is freeway the whole way.

I was going to say. Campbelltown to Sydney is 35mins

[james22]

I was speaking to a b/a at a party recently. Here goes;

B/A: Ohh mann, On the weekend I went down to calder with my WRX, I ripped the Exhaust & Extractors off it, and wound up the boost. It went like a rocket.

Me: How can you have boost if you've got no exhaust to run the turbo off????

B/A: You dont need an exhaust for a turbo!!!

Me: Your thinking of a supercharger

B/A: My Uncle owns Garrett (turbo's), so I think I would know!!!!!!!!!

Me: Yeah you would think wouldnt ya. Tosser (under breath)

****ed me up the wall but was ssssooooooo funny :

[MITCHAY]

Originally Posted by james22

I was speaking to a b/a at a party recently. Here goes;

B/A: Ohh mann, On the weekend I went down to calder with my WRX, I ripped the Exhaust & Extractors off it, and wound up the boost. It went like a rocket.

Me: How can you have boost if you've got no exhaust to run the turbo off????

B/A: You dont need an exhaust for a turbo!!!

Me: Your thinking of a supercharger

B/A: My Uncle owns Garrett (turbo's), so I think I would know!!!!!!!!!

Me: Yeah you would think wouldnt ya. Tosser (under breath)

****ed me up the wall but was ssssooooooo funny :

What a loser! If only more people were this stupid then maybe we wouldn't have the stereotype us WRX owners do.

[Mitch_]

Originally Posted by MITCHAY

What a loser! If only more people were this stupid then maybe we wouldn't have the stereotype us WRX owners do.

did you know that VTEC makes cars NA cars faster than turbos
and that blow off valves are for show off purposes only...you only really need a wastegate. apparenly a kid i know has a mate that has a turbo civic that only has a wastegate, because he doesnt want to show off to he removed the blow off valve ;)

[Lumpen Proletariat]

One guy in our grade 10 Science Class came up with some absolute pearlers.

We were discussing Chromosomes, Genetics and all that and how all living things have them. Giraffe's have 30, King Crabs 208 and we have 24. His question was 'Well, how many Chromosomes does Fire have'?

On discussing pollution and it's effect's on the future, specifically the lack of breathable air his solution was 'Why not have everyone walk around with fish tank breathers/filters over their mouths?'


All was forgiven though, when we were making plastics in class and one of them smelt very fishy. His classic call was to the girl of dubious repute 'Bonnie, shut your legs, we can smell you from here'! Even the teacher, a very straight laced, religious man in his 50's doubled over in laughter.



Lumpy

[GCFordChic]

I was talking to a potential member of our club on the weekend and when talking about the cars we had in the club i said "a few EH's". I have no idea why i said it, i was thinking of one member's EF... but i felt like a right fool... :

BLONDE MOMENT! :

: :

[fiery]

Originally Posted by GCFordChic

I was talking to a potential member of our club on the weekend and when talking about the cars we had in the club i said "a few EH's". I have no idea why i said it, i was thinking of one member's EF... but i felt like a right fool... :

BLONDE MOMENT! :

: :

hahaha.. mmmmmm now your scaring me Jen : There is so many differences between a EH and an EF.. not to mention the fact one is not FORD _2:

[GCFordChic]

Originally Posted by fiery

hahaha.. mmmmmm now your scaring me Jen : There is so many differences between a EH and an EF.. not to mention the fact one is not FORD _2:

I know...I should just say E series so i dont make the same mistake in the future. I know what an EH is, my ex had an EK and i used to go to car shows and see all the old classics...
That is why i was so embarrased to actually say it, because as soon as i did i realised what i said and worse still, realised i didnt just confuse an EF with an EA or something, but confused the letters with a classic HOLDEN!!! e

Unfortunately, it wasnt the moment the car on the dyno revved up and the nice guy i was talking to picked up on it straight away.... :

:nutsycuck

[Rollin]

I just remembered another one:

Was talking to a mates' sisters' fiance ages ago, who is apparently 'awesome with cars' and he was talling me all about an old laser he used to have:

1980something 1.5L carby job, to which he fitted twin carbs, home made extractors and 4, yep, 4 turbos, with seperate intercoolers. Apparently went really hard and would wheelspin in every gear.

After a while he decided it was too slow so he swapped it for a motorbike, but no longer has the bike, or any pics or proof of the quad turbo laser...

In my other post in here I mentioned an apprentice at work who asked me if my car was a V12 while looking at the motor - well soon after that little cracker I was messing about with my car in the workshop (271rwhp turbo 4 litre for anyone not familiar with it)

He walked up to the car (without knowing ANYTHING about it at all), and says "My mates car would eat this" so I asked him what his mates car is - a F250 with a full NASCAR engine (NASCAR apparently run 600ci big blocks with nitrous, according to him) which also had a NASCAR 7 speed auto.

I didn't even bother arguing about the capacity/N2O, but I queried him on the whole 7 speed auto thing, as I'm fairly sure they are only allowed to run 4 speed manuals (please correct me if I'm wrong) and he was adamant they are allowed to run 7 speed autos.

Then he told me that him and his mate with the F250 go up to the hills near some dam and "he can hardly keep up with his mate through the hills" in his stock early 90s laser.

Gee, they must both be total weapons!

[vectra-racer]

best one i ever heard, from a UK forum

"i put my back seats down when i'm racing, it helps with the aerodynamics"

as if that wasnt bad enough, after he had been flamed and harassed he claimed he meant that by doing so it made a difference to the weight distribution in the car.

bwahahaha

[GXL078]

Originally Posted by Rollin

1980something 1.5L carby job, to which he fitted twin carbs,
Gee, they must both be total weapons!

Twin carbs were standard on 1.5L Laser S

[photn]

ohh this thread is hilarious....

[boss-290]

Originally Posted by vectra-racer

best one i ever heard, from a UK forum

"i put my back seats down when i'm racing, it helps with the aerodynamics"

as if that wasnt bad enough, after he had been flamed and harassed he claimed he meant that by doing so it made a difference to the weight distribution in the car.

bwahahaha

GOLD!

[Rollin]

Twin carbs were standard on 1.5L Laser S

twin carbs or a two barrell carb? I'm yet to see any factory laser with two individual carburettors, but I'm happy to be proven wrong.

[MrEL]

Yep the early lasers had those evil twin Makuni things...................................piece of shit!

[Outbackjack]

Originally Posted by MrEL

Yep the early lasers had those evil twin Makuni things...................................piece of shit!

I dont know what the lasers had on them .... Mikuni's ??? But my datsun roadster has dual side draft 44PHH solex mikuni's on it (factory standard). They are known as the set and forget carb. Guys that have put on webbers or delauto's are always setting/repairing. Often a good product is called junk due to lack of knowledge/skill.

[Yellow_Festiva]

During schoolies the amount of cars that got from Sydney to the Gold Coast or Surfers / Brisbane in 7 hours was amazing!!

Perhaps they had car boats with jet thrusters lol

[Rev28K]

Originally Posted by Outbackjack

I dont know what the lasers had on them .... Mikuni's ??? But my datsun roadster has dual side draft 44PHH solex mikuni's on it (factory standard). They are known as the set and forget carb. Guys that have put on webbers or delauto's are always setting/repairing. Often a good product is called junk due to lack of knowledge/skill.

I thought that Mikunis were very similar to Webers (the hot Japanese version of the 240Z – the Z432 used a 4-valve head, 3 Mikunis and 2 overhead camshafts on it’s 2 litre 6 cylinder engine).

Most of the Zed tuners I have spoken to seem to prefer Webers (prob because they are more familiar with them and their adjustments, maybe because they will know that customers will be back for adjustments). My old Webers used to be good (change to slightly bigger jets for race days) they were set up with good linkages and things to start with rather than junky copies. No choke so two pumps of the accelerator before you start it up in the morning (3 if it was cold).

Scuderia (?) Motorports back in the 80’s had a stroked L28 display engine with triple Mikunis in their showroom. It eventually ran on the street with triple 45 webers – sounded horn with open trumpets (and picked up 10bhp on Frank Lowndes dyno).

I agree that Dellortos seem to be a bit temperamental.

[Mental]

god .. help .. me ... dying ... :hihi:

[majin_andrew]

A mates stock as a rock eb runs 9 second quarters, and he is going to put a 308 in it. He also crashed his bmx years ago and was flying through the air for 15 seconds ( his cousin timed him from when he crashed to when he landed).

Another mate has designed a few FPV's that are currently beginning production, and his uncle owns a Phase 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5.

I have also been told that turbos work by sending exhaust gases back into the cylinders to get combusted again.

I have been told on a couple of occasions that V6s are more powerful than I6s because they are more balanced (you need to remind them of M3s, GT-Rs, E49 Chargers etc before you convince some people that I6s aren't necessarily pus).

[Piotr]

Originally Posted by mitch_anderson

did you know that VTEC makes cars NA cars faster than turbos
and that blow off valves are for show off purposes only...you only really need a wastegate. apparenly a kid i know has a mate that has a turbo civic that only has a wastegate, because he doesnt want to show off to he removed the blow off valve ;)

Thats an on-going argument there is no evidence to show that a BOV will improve turbo life or improve performance. 80's eva f1 turbos didn't use BOV (1300HP+ from 1.5L), Le Mans GT1's no BOV, Indy cars no BOV. They are used on road cars (Plumb Back) to reduce noise caused by turbo flutter.

Some pretty funny posts here

[luke]

Originally Posted by BlewThunder

also with a little bit of skill you can actually pull the blades off and turn them over and put them back on so they are then still drawing air from the correct side....so who is the joke on now?

Hate to bring this up, but actually you can't. If you take the blades off and put them on the other way, the fan will still draw air the same way, because the blades are facing the other way, but they're also spinning the other way. However, with most DC brushed motors, like what you would probably find driving an engine fan, you can reverse the polarity of the power supply to make it run backwards. Doesn't work with brushless though, but I don't think you'd find a brushless engine fan.

[GXL078]

Originally Posted by luke

Hate to bring this up, but actually you can't. If you take the blades off and put them on the other way, the fan will still draw air the same way, because the blades are facing the other way, but they're also spinning the other way. However, with most DC brushed motors, like what you would probably find driving an engine fan, you can reverse the polarity of the power supply to make it run backwards. Doesn't work with brushless though, but I don't think you'd find a brushless engine fan.

Beware of second hand Au cooling fans for sale on E Bay. They have come from taxis and the brushes are worn away to nothing and can't be replaced.

[luke]

Originally Posted by xcgxl

Beware of second hand Au cooling fans for sale on E Bay. They have come from taxis and the brushes are worn away to nothing and can't be replaced.

I can imagine, that's why I went to Motor Traders and got me a set of clean new EL ones.

[naxh96]

Originally Posted by Lumpen Proletariat

All was forgiven though, when we were making plastics in class and one of them smelt very fishy. His classic call was to the girl of dubious repute 'Bonnie, shut your legs, we can smell you from here'! Even the teacher, a very straight laced, religious man in his 50's doubled over in laughter.

Lumpy

This sounds so similar to a class at my old high school in yeppoon qld. even the name sounds correct, last name either loney or lewis. 2 years out and i miss high school for the inherent insanity with the mates. uni just never lives up to those old antics

[bigAl]

a mate asked me the other day, "can i still drive my car around with bent valves?, will it cause any damage?"

[The MaDDeSTMaN]

This one still makes me laugh, how clueless can you get:

"The EB is going to rape your XF regardless of the mods."